


A million little times

by fallendarknight86



Category: Glee
Genre: Cheating, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, F/M, Faberry, Femslash, Futanari, Girl Penis, Implied miscarriage, Older!Rachel, Sexual Content, Sexual References, implied domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 45,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallendarknight86/pseuds/fallendarknight86
Summary: It’s an illicit affair behind her husband’s back, but why is she so drawn to the younger girl with piercing hazel eyes? When did it become something else?
Relationships: Quinn Fabray/Marley Rose, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 57
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: so I got this idea listening to Taylor Swift’s song “Illicit Affairs” and I know there have been stories with this topic already, but the idea was there and why not to go for it? It took me some tme to publish, after my quick break from fanfictions but here I am...

A/N 2: flashbacks are in italics and there will be mentions of Marley/Quinn and Finn/Rachel even if it’s a Faberry story. G!P Quinn, don’t like it? Don’t read it

**Chapter 1**

“You’re late.” The brunette opened the door of the familiar hotel room and let her in. She had changed into something more comfortable than her daily clothes and taken a shower to get rid of the car smell and the remaining activities of her day. 

“Yeah, traffic.” She dropped the shoes by the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes for a moment. Was she really sure about doing this? It’s been going on for weeks and it felt like going in circles. They met up. They fucked. They went back to their respective lives until the next date, in a hotel on the highway to Columbus that was pretty decent, reserved and didn’t scream ‘Psycho’. 

“Could’ve texted me.” She looked at her younger lover, reading the distress on her face. “What’s wrong?” She approached her slowly until she was at arms’ reach. She could smell the fading scent of mint cigarettes on her, but she didn’t mind. It was good on her. It was familiar and comforting. It was her scent. 

“Nothing. I just had a long day…” She pushed herself off the door and moved around the brunette to get to the bathroom and have a quick shower. It was what they always did. Shower before and after. It was like a routine. They washed the rest of the world off their bodies and souls, before getting lost in their small world. They washed their world off their skins before going back to real life, out there. 

“We don’t have to do anything, you know?” She grabbed onto her hand, lacing their fingers while her thumb stroked along the tattoo on the inside of her wrist. She traced it with her thumb slowly. 

“I want to.” She looked at her and stepped up closer to cup her cheek with her free hand. “Give me 5 minutes and I am all yours, okay?” She leaned in to peck her lips, reassuring herself more than the other girl. 

“Take your time.” The brunette returned the kiss before dropping their hands so she could disappear in the small bathroom and jump in the shower, like she had done while waiting for her. Sighing, she made sure the door was safely locked and just padded back into the bedroom zone. It wasn’t too small but she had seen better hotel rooms. A queen sized bed was in the middle of the room, with two nightstands each side with a lamp on each, but only one was really working. 

She let her eyes linger on the right nightstand where she had hidden the small Bible. It was a reminder of the sins she was committing while being there, lost in some woman’s arms. Some woman who was definitely not her husband of 7 years, working his ass off in the family business. Some woman who was rocking her world during the weekends when he had a long shift at the garage and couldn’t be around to even worry about her whereabouts. Some woman who was taking care of the ache that her husband wasn’t even aware of. She couldn’t really remember the last time Finn had touched her. She couldn’t remember nor she wanted to. It felt like a foreign touch compared to what she made her feel, whenever she kissed her. Whenever she touched her, playing her like a precious instrument that no one else but her could play. 

“Hey.” The other girl’s voice startled her out of her thoughts. “We almost ran out of shampoo, Rachel.” She was toweling her short pink hair. 

“We’ll have to keep that in mind when we shower, later.” She stepped into her younger lover’s personal space and took the towel from her, massaging her scalp and trying to fix the directions of her messy hair. “You look like a lion, Quinn.” 

“Rawr.” Quinn dropped her face against her neck, biting playfulling the skin of her pulse. 

“Smartass.” Rachel threw the towel aside. Her fingers gripped on the back of Quinn’s head, guiding her mouth along her throat where she loved it the most. She was warm and smelled like the body wash she had used on herself. She felt so good against her, as if she was made for being with her. She felt so good against her, that she almost forgot about the wedding band in her purse. 

“How much do we have?” Quinn’s hands expertly undid her belt to reveal her naked body underneath. 

“Until 7.” Rachel stole a glance at the clock under the TV and sighed in relief, when she noticed it was not even 3 PM in the afternoon. They had 4 hours to roll around in bed and sate the thirst for one another. 

“Plenty of time.” Quinn nodded into her neck and pushed her backwards toward the bed. She didn’t even need to watch where she was going, to know it was the right direction. Every week, they had the same room. The same room booked under Waldorf, with the help of a hotel manager that loved generous tips. 

“Indeed.” Rachel fell on her back on it and tugged her down by the neck, crushing their mouths together as her own hands trailed along her front to get rid of the robe. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“What are you having?” A foreign voice came from beside her, pulling her from her thoughts._

_“What?” She looked up to find a mildly attractive guy standing there, with a smirk on his face and wandering eyes._

_“What are you drinking? I want to buy you another one.” He nodded to her almost empty glass. “A drink for your number.”_

_“I am fine, really.” She smiled politely, hoping he’d get the hint but it seemed that he wasn’t going to buy it._

_“Your name then? A pretty girl like you cannot be left thirsty.” He took a seat beside her and placed a hand on her exposed thigh, squeezing it. “I am Eddie.”_

_“Look, Eddie.” She took his hand and pulled it off her leg. “I am sure you’re nice and good at whatever you’re trying to do here, but I am not interested. Thank you and good night.” She went to move away but he stood in front of her, blocking her path._

_“A dance. I am sure it will make you change my mind about me.” He tried to pull her on the dance floor when someone pushed him off, slipping in between._

_“Hey, baby. Sorry, but traffic was a fucking mess.” A pink haired girl wrapped her arm around her waist and stood in front of her, back to the guy. “How long have you been sitting here?” She leaned down to brush her lips against the brunette’s and whispered “Follow my lead.”_

_“Hey, you.” Rachel nodded against her lips and pulled her down for a soft kiss. “Just 15 minutes.” Her arms circled her neck, holding onto her as they kissed again._

_“What’s going on here?” Eddie tried to get closer but the pink haired woman stood tall, protectively in front of her._

_“Quinn. Are you a new friend? I failed to catch your name.” She held her hand out for him to shake._

_“Whatever. Bitch.” He turned on his heels and walked away, in search of a more suitable partner._

_“Ouch. Did I say something wrong?” Quinn turned around to stare at the brunette, who had her arms around her waist from behind._

_“Thank you, Quinn.” She dropped her arms and held her hand out, shaking hers. “Rachel.”_

_“My pleasure. You’re new around here?” She raised an eyebrow._

_“How can you tell I am new?” She took her seat back and Quinn did the same. “Let me buy you a drink.”_

_“Coke with lemon.” She nodded to the brunette, who raised an eyebrow at her choice. “I am driving.”_

_“Oh. Sounds reasonable.” She nodded to the bartender to get a refill and a coke and slid her card over the counter. “So, how could you tell?”_

_“Wednesdays are single nights.” She looked around. “There are not many clubs in Lima, but you come here if you want to meet someone for a night romp or something more meaningful.”_

_“Oh, gotcha.” Rachel slid her drink along the counter and watched the pink haired girl drink with a straw. “What are you looking for?”_

_“Pardon me?” Quinn slid closer to hear what she was saying over the louder music._

_“What are you looking for, Quinn?” She shifted closer until their noses touched and Quinn could smell the vodka on her parted lips._

_“What do you think?” She looked in her eyes and a smirk appeared on her face._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“You’ve got something…” Rachel brushed her thumb over her lower lip and chin, wiping her own juices off her skin. 

“I’m a messy eater.” Quinn smirked, biting on her thumb playfully. 

“You totally are.” Rachel whimpered and surged forward, catching her lips for a hard kiss. Her fingers tugged at her locks to bring the younger woman on top of her, between her parted legs. She could feel Quinn’s excitement press against the apex of her thighs and she just spread them further, so it could rest against her core. 

“I need…” Her lips trailed along her jawline and the side of her neck. She bit lightly on her tanned skin, mindful not to leave any visible mark that could have drawn unwanted suspicions. 

“Yeah…” The brunette reached on the bedside table for the foiled package and ripped it with her teeth, handing it to the pink haired girl. 

“Give me a second, babe.” She left a wet peck on her lips and sat back on her heels, rolling it on herself until it fit snugly around her length. 

“You’re remarkably big, you know?” Rachel’s eyes fell onto the movement between her legs. “Bigger than anyone I’ve been with.” She perched herself on her elbows to stare at the girl in front of her, who was still adjusting the latex around her. 

“You said that, a couple of times now.” Quinn looked at her and took in her naked body glowing in the afternoon light. “And you’re the most gorgeous I’ve been with.” Crawling towards her, she lowered her mouth to take one of her dusky nipples in her mouth. She sucked on it slowly, rolling it with her tongue slowly. 

“God, Quinn…” Her fingers gripped her wild hair, tugging at it to feel her mouth back on hers as they reclined back in the unmade bed. She let her back on top, cradling her body between her thighs. Her heels brushed along the back of Quinn’s legs, pulling her closer when she entered her, in one way. 

“Fuck.” She was grateful for the rubber around her. It helped her restraining herself from just letting go, given how tight Rachel felt around her. Bracing herself against the mattress, she rolled her hips back and forth against the brunette’s. She rolled it slowly, in a circular way, that always made Rachel moan louder and claw at her back, probably leaving red marks behind. 

“Shit, like that…” Rachel’s legs locked behind her back. Her hips rose from the bed to meet the thrusts inside her, trying to get more of her even if she was fully inside of her and pressed against her soft spot, with each thrust in. How could she be so good at fucking her? 

“How do you feel so tight?” Quinn’s mouth trailed along the other side of her neck. The one she had ignored until then. She kissed and lapped at her skin, licking away the saltiness of her sweat and the sweetness of the body wash that had lingered there. 

“I don’t know.” Rachel groaned after a particular hard thrust. She dug her nails into her lower back, right in between the two angel tattoos that marked Quinn’s porcelain skin. “Don’t stop.” 

“Not planning to…” She licked her pulse and sank her teeth in it. She knew how hard she could bite without leaving a mark. So, she bit down and tugged the skin with her, earning another low moan from the brunette under her. 

“Quinn…” Rachel pulled her head from her neck and licked her bottom lip. She licked it again, still tasting herself on her mouth before biting down onto it. It was so soft and full that she couldn’t not bite on that lip. 

“Rachel…” Quinn tilted her head to the side to crush her mouth over hers, kissing away her moans when her hand had slipped between her legs to circle her clit with her forefinger. She knew she needed that to get closer to the edge. They all needed that. 

“Fuck.” She pulled her mouth back to moan. She panted hard and rested her forehead against Quinn’s temple, releasing soft puffs of warm air against her heated cheek. 

“Roll over.” Quinn left a kiss on her pouty mouth and pulled out, just to allow her to slip on her stomach and on her elbows to support her weight. 

“Quinn…” She couldn’t see her, but she could feel her. She could feel her mouth dropping kisses along the skin of her tensed shoulders. She could feel her lick the musical note tattooed on her right shoulder, reminding her of her failed dreams. 

“I’m here.” She kissed her cheek and rested her chin on her shoulder. She kept her lips hovering her ear while she slipped back inside her from behind, upping the pace of her thrusts. “Not going anywhere babe.” She whispered hotly. Her left hand slipped between her hips and the mattress, finding her bundle of nerves with her fingers to continue with her touches as she moved inside of her. 

“I’m…” Rachel reached for her head from behind. She circled her head with her forearm, seeking her mouth with hers at an odd angle. She didn’t care about straining her neck, as long as their lips kept on chasing each other. She dueled with Quinn for a pointless dominance. 

“Let go.” Quinn rubbed her faster. “Let it go baby…” She kissed her bottom lip and then upper one. She kissed her slowly while her hips gyrated faster against her backside, pushing and pulling at an almost frantic pace. 

“Quinn!” Rachel held onto the back of her head. She held onto it to rest their foreheads together, while her hips rolled against the mattress. She rolled them back and forth to get the friction she needed against her upper lips and clit. She rolled them back and forth as her walls fluttered around Quinn, who was just pounding away into her from behind. 

“Fuck...fuck... “ Quinn groaned as her own release approached. She was so close to just rip it off and sheathe herself back in, to fill her up. 

“Shit…” She came with a loud moan. She came and gripped the sheets hard. Her whole core throbbed in pleasure, making it hard for the pink haired girl to even thrust into her. 

“Fuck yes.” Quinn pulled out of her to take the condom off and just stroke herself. She stroked up and down until she just spilled all over her perfect backside and the sheets under them. 

“Mm you’re warm…” Rachel whimpered at the feeling of her release on her skin. She could only imagine how good she’d feel inside of her. The mere thought just made her throb around nothing, gushing some more. 

“You have no idea.” She rolled on her back beside her, hand still loosely wrapped around her base. 

“Maybe we could try that...sometime…” Rachel dropped beside her young lover, resting her head on one arm and draping the other over her ripped waist. 

“Try what?” She tied the used condom and threw it in the bin by the bed, wiping her fingers on the sheets.

“Doing it without…” She nodded to the few packages left on the nightstand. 

“Oh.” She nodded and looked down at her, crossing her arms behind her head. “Yeah, maybe.” 

“Geez, don’t sound so enthusiastic.” Rachel rolled on her back and tugged the covers over her. She felt suddenly ashamed of lying naked with Quinn. 

“It’s not that…” Quinn sighed and looked at the brunette, who had her head turned away from her and was looking outside their window. 

“What is it, then? STD?” She sat up, pulling the blankets with her. “I’ll get tested if you’re so worried about that, but it’s not like I do this with anyone.”

“What’s this, Rachel?” Quinn looked at her from her lying position. “What are we even doing here?” 

“You know what this is, Quinn.” She looked down at her lap, where her hands were fisting the blanket. They knew what they had gotten into but they couldn’t really label it. They couldn’t put a name over something that was supposed to be temporary and quick and dirty, but it was becoming a habit hard to give up onto. 

“No, I don’t.” Quinn sat up against the headboard, with a pillow to cover herself. “I know what it used to be but this...I don’t know anymore.” 

“Do you want to stop seeing me?” Rachel looked at her over her shoulder. 

“It’s not what I said.” Quinn ran a hand through her hair and her eyes caught the time. Their time was almost up. “We should get going, it’s getting late.” She slipped out of bed and retrieved her robe from the floor, heading towards the bathroom. “I’ll be quick so you can take your time.” She turned to stare at Rachel, who just nodded softly and avoided to meet her eyes. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**_“_ ** _We shouldn’t be doing this here.” Her back hit the bathroom’s door while her neck was assaulted by the pink haired woman, who had pinned her there and was fumbling with her underwear, under her dress._

_“Want to go back to your place?” Quinn left her neck to stare at her._

_“What about your place?” Rachel cupped her face and brought their lips back together, kissing her hard while her fingers found her wetness. “God…” She had missed feeling someone else’s hand between her legs. Taking care of herself was not equally satisfying._

_“Can’t.” Quinn swiped her fingers through her wetness to reach for her bundle of nerves. Her fingertips tugged and circled it with expertise. She kept circling it as her eyes never left Rachel’s, who was moaning out like a girl in one of those movies that she and Santana used to watch._

_“Maybe…” Her fingers dug into her shoulders when she felt Quinn slip two inside of her. She was so close to come already and she had barely been touched. “Book a room?”_

_“I’ve got my car outside, we can do that.” She went to pull her hand back, but Rachel wrapped one of her long legs behind her back and just trapped her in, urging her to go on. “God, you’re squeezing me so fucking tightly.”_

_“One more.” Rachel looked down into her eyes. “Add one more, Quinn.” She pulled her in for a bruising kiss that didn’t last long. She couldn’t keep her mouth pressed against the blonde’s when the third finger slipped in and curled inside of her, caressing her walls. “Fuck…”_

_“You’re close to cum for me?” Quinn’s lips trailed along her jawline and up to her ear. She nibbled on it while her other hand sneaked behind her back, to squeeze her ass under her dress. She squeezed it again when her fingers pushed knuckles deep into the brunette._

_“Quinn…” She gripped her with her hands and her insides. She gripped her hard while her walls fluttered around this stranger’s fingers, that were filling her like no one had done before. Not even herself._

_“You’re fucking gorgeous.” Quinn kissed her forehead, while keeping her fingers inside of her. She kept on stroking her walls with slowness until she had stopped trembling for her. She pulled those fingers out and wiped them on the back of her jeans, not even caring about the stain against the black fabric._

_“How far is your car?” Rachel dropped her head against the door. She felt like her legs were made of jelly and couldn’t really support her._

_“Just around the corner.” She kissed her temple and then rested her head against the door, breathing slowly. She was throbbing under her jeans and it was all because of this woman._

_“How far is the nearest motel?” Her fingers slipped behind her neck, massaging it slowly._

_“20 minutes.” Quinn whimpered when her other hand sneaked up her shirt, tracing the shape of her abs. “But I could make it in 10.”_

_“Good. I really need to lie down and fuck you in a bed.” Rachel kissed behind her ear._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Earth to Fabray.” Sam nudged her in the side, when he sat beside her on the bleachers. She was looking at the football field, where the cheerleaders were training for the upcoming game. 

“Sorry, were you saying?” Quinn blew the smoke out of her nostrils and stared at her best friend. 

“You’ve been thinking of going back?” He leaned back to watch Santana lead the team. The team was still good but it lacked the leadership that Quinn could provide. She was born to lead them. 

“I don’t think Coach Sylvester would agree much with this look.” She chuckled and threw the cigarette aside. “Why go back though? It didn’t make me any happier than this.” 

“What makes you happy, though?” Sam meant well. He rested a hand against the small of her back, where the angel wings showed under her shirt. “Will you ever get over it?” 

“How can I, Sam?” She casted her eyes upwards. “She was…”

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault or Marley’s.” His arm circled her waist to tuck her in his side, until her head was buried against his chest. “Things happen but you should forgive yourself, because you did nothing wrong.”

“She can’t even look at me. I’m standing there and it’s like she stares through me, as if…” She nuzzled the fabric of his shirt, staining it with hot tears that she didn’t even realize she was holding. “As if it was just her loss. But I lost her too...I lost everything.” 

“You should work out your differences, Quinn. You can’t keep ignoring this.” He rubbed his back slowly and found Santana’s eyes across the field, who was witnessing everything from afar. “You can’t move on, if you won’t let it go.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She sniffed and pulled back from his chest, wiping her cheeks angrily. “I should talk to her.” 

“Good.” Sam nodded. “Now, will you finally tell me where you are going every Saturday afternoon?” He raised an eyebrow that would have made any Fabray proud. 

“What makes you think I am going somewhere?” She got another cigarette from her pack and lit it up. 

“Don’t fuck with me, Quinn. I know you’re seeing someone, who is she?” He borrowed a cigarette from her pack and lit it up for himself. “Does she go here?”

“No. She’s older.” She chuckled when he started coughing, obviously taken aback by her confession.”Geez, Sam...will you be any more discrete?”

“You’re fucking an older woman? How awesome is that?” For a teenage guy like him, she was even cooler than she already was. “How long has this been going on?”  
  


“Since August.” She checked her phone for any text but she didn’t find any. Was their weekly date confirmed or not? Maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up. She should have kept it quiet to keep doing whatever they were doing. 

“And you’re not dating? Just…” He killed his cigarette on the ground and kicked it away. 

“Yeah, it’s just sex.” Or so she thought. They mostly had sex but they had also talked about stuff. Not heavy stuff, but they had talked about something from their past. They had talked about their current lives. They had never talked about their future. There was no future for them, was there?

“I knew you had it in you. Is it any better than those girls?” He nodded to the girls he knew she had taken in her bed. It was just another failed attempt to cope with it. To cope with the emptiness in her life. 

“Different, I guess? She knows what she is doing, for sure.” Rachel was a better lay than any of those who had come after her. After all those times she had with the girl she used to love. With the girl who could barely look at her, nowadays. 

“So cool, mate. So fucking cool.” He smirked and leaned back to stare at the field, while she got lost in her own thoughts. Was it, really? 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“Where are you going?” Rachel whimpered at the loss of contact when she pulled back. They had checked in and fell through the door of their hotel room, in the haste of getting the clothes off them and back to it._

_“Wait. I…” Quinn stood in front of the bed with her pants still on, even if her upper body was left bare for Rachel to stare at. “I need to tell you something before we go on.”_

_“You’re seeing someone? ‘Cause I don’t care really. I am not exactly free myself.” She shrugged and shifted to the edge of the bed, to rest her hands on her narrow hips. “You’re so hot.” Her mouth trailed the shape of her abs, which flexed under her touch._

_“You’re not?” Her fingers tangled in her locks, pulling her closer when her tongue followed the path of her butterfly kisses. God, what could that mouth do to her?_

_“No. But let’s not talk about that…” Rachel’s hands fell to her belt and undid it with ease. Once undone, she moved to the button of her dark jeans, undoing it one by one until she had enough room to slip her hands past the waistband and push them along her thighs. “Quinn…?” She looked up into her eyes when she saw it._

_“Look, we can...I can just take care of you ok? I don’t mind.” She rubbed the back of her head and looked anywhere but at Rachel._

_“Show me.” She kissed her stomach and brought the girl’s hands to the waistband of her boxers._

_“Ok.” Quinn took in a deep breath and let her boxers pool at her feet, where her pants were. “We don’t….We don’t have to do anything, ok?”_

_“Okay.” Rachel stood back up, having gained a couple of inches on the pink haired woman who was barefoot while she had kept her heels. “But what if I want to?” Her lips brushed along her tensed jawline. She felt it slacken under her kisses while her hands trembled over her hips. “What if I want to take you in my mouth and then let you take me however you want to?”_

_“Fuck…” Quinn felt herself throb at those words. She couldn’t really help herself._

_“That’s what I meant, yes.” She chuckled against her jawline and reached behind her back to undo the clasp of her bra and expose her breasts to Quinn’s eyes. She had seen her eyes linger there for long moments as they kissed and she finally gave her what she wanted. “You like?”_

_“You’re just…” Her hands hovered them without touching her. Was she allowed to touch her like that? She hadn’t done this for a while now. The nameless girls she had fucked in the empty school bathrooms didn’t really count. It was always a quick fuck to fix their sexual desires but this...this was something else._

_“You can touch them, they won’t bite.” She grabbed her wrists and closed the remaining distance with her chest. She felt her palms cup them and it had been so long. So long since she had felt someone touch her there. “But I can’t promise I won’t, though.”_

_“Won’t what?” Quinn felt like being in daze. She squeezed her hands around her breasts and they felt so good. So full and firm._

_“Bite you.” Rachel’s forehead dropped against her shoulder while her hands palmed her breasts. She was slowly getting more familiar with her chest and it felt like they were her new favorite things to play with. “My nipples.”_

_“So hard.” She rested her own head in the crook of Rachel’s neck and nuzzled in it. She nuzzled the tip of her nose along her exposed shoulder and neck, making them both hiss in pleasure when Rachel’s hand wrapped around her base, tugging her by it._

_“So are you.” She kept tugging her by her base, earning more moans whispered against her ear. “We should lie down, Quinn…”_

_“God, yes.” She pushed her towards the bed and crawled between her legs, resuming her caresses against her breasts. She gripped them and buried her head into the crook of her neck, where her kisses became more indulging and prolonged._

_“No marks.” She tugged at her by her hair. She kept a hand tangled in her pink hair and the other just pumped her slowly, feeling her tip leave a wet trail against her inner thigh._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“I wasn’t sure you’d show up.” Quinn looked up when the brunette walked inside the hotel room. 

“You could’ve asked. You’ve got my number.” She had hung her coat by the door and walked further into the room, to see the younger woman sitting on the edge of the mattress, still in her clothes. 

“Look, if you’re not in the mood...just say it.” Quinn craved for a cigarette but it was a non-smoking room. Why wasn’t there a balcony? 

“What about you? You’re still wearing your clothes.” Rachel pointed out. 

“Oh right, our ritual. How could I forget about that?” Quinn chuckled and stood up to take her sweater off. “You’re worried I’d smell like someone else?”

“God, you know it’s now why we do it, Quinn.” Rachel shook her head. 

“Isn’t it? Why do we shower before and after we fuck? So we can pretend this is not happening? That I haven’t been inside you for hours before you get back to him?” She dropped her sweater to the floor. 

“That’s why I shower, then what’s your excuse huh?” She stood in front of the taller girl. “You could walk out of here smelling like me...I bet you’d love that huh? To brag with your little friends about what a stud you are?” She pushed against her shoulders, throwing her back on the bed. “Have you told them, Quinnie? Have you told them how you’re fucking an older woman?” She straddled her waist and pinned her hands above their heads, holding her down with her waist. “Have you told them how I beg for you to fuck me hard?” 

“Stop it.” Quinn tried to fight her hold but she had an upper hand. She could just lie there and let Rachel say anything she wanted to her face. 

“Why then, Quinn? Why do you wash our smell after we’ve done it?” She whispered against her lips. “So you can feel less guilty about letting this fill the void someone else left behind? So you can feel less guilty about getting some sort of relief from your ghosts, when you’re inside of me and I’m kissing you?” She loosened her hold around her wrists, when she felt Quinn fight less. “Why, Quinn?” 

“Stop…” Quinn looked away from her and dropped her hands to her sides, tangling them into the sheets. 

“Sorry.” Rachel kissed her cheek softly and slipped from her lap, but the other girl circled her waist with her arms and just kept her in place. “Quinn…”

“Can…” She gulped softly and kept her eyes away from Rachel. “Would you hold me?” She whispered so softly that she might have missed it, if she hadn’t been so close. 

“Yes, of course.” Rachel slipped on her side and waited for Quinn to do the same, before wrapping herself around her from behind. “I’m sorry…” She kissed the skin behind her ear and rested her head there, nuzzling into her. 

“I know…” Quinn scooted back into Rachel’s front and pulled her arms tighter around her waist. Her head dropped heavily against the mattress, as if it weighed too much for her to keep it upright. 

“God, what happened to you?” Rachel nuzzled her ear softly and voiced her thoughts aloud, hoping she had fallen asleep in her arms. 

“My daughter would’ve been 1 year old tomorrow.” Quinn didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Rachel’s lips kiss her tears away. 

“Your daughter?” Rachel tightened her arms around her and just kept nuzzling her cheek from behind. “Quinn, what happened?” 

“Can we just...I can’t talk about this, really.” She wiped her face against the sheets and curled more in herself. “Just hold me…”

“Of course...whatever you need.” Rachel pulled her closer and just did what she asked her to. She nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck and placed soft kisses against it, hoping it’d just help her calm down. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**_“_ ** _God, I don’t think I can…” Rachel rolled off her and pulled the blankets with her, covering her front. “How long have we been going at it?”_

_“3 hours? I lost count, really.” Quinn checked her phone and saw it was almost 4 in the morning. She dropped a quick text to her best friend and then threw it back on the floor, not caring where it landed._

_“You’ve got stamina. How can you still be hard?” Rachel noticed the visible tent in the blanket and looked at her bed partner, who smirked back._

_“I just am…” Quinn sat against the headboard and leaned back, with one arm behind her head. “You don’t have to do anything about it, you know? I can take a cold shower or just wait until morning.”_

_“Give me a moment to recover. I am no longer in my early twenties…” Rolling on her stomach she draped an arm over her bare thighs, stroking the hipbone further from her. “You’re what 21?”_

_“Almost.” Quinn lied about it. How much could it really hurt? “You’re what, 23?”_

_“Close. 25.” She chuckled and stroked her skin with her fingertips. “You’re going back to OSU in a couple of weeks?”_

_“Yeah…” She wasn’t really lying about that. It was probably the closest and only thing she could really afford, after everything she had gone through. “English major.”_

_“That’s nice. You want to be a writer?” She pulled the blanket down to expose her erect appendage. She stared at it while her fingers trailed along the muscles of her lower abdomen._

_“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to…” She whimpered when Rachel’s lips brushed her sensitive head. “I thought…”_

_“Don’t worry about that now.” She talked against her hardness and it was making her throb even harder. “You taste good.” She took a tentative lick. She never was a fan of oral on guys but Quinn hadn’t tried to push it inside her mouth as soon as she had seen her. She hadn’t tried to get her on her knees to service her before anything else. She had actually taken care of her for most of the night, putting her needs before her own._

_“Rachel, you don’t have to…” Her head hit the wall behind them when those lips disclosed around her to take her half in. “Shit, that feels good.”_

_“Mmm…” She hummed around it and just massaged her length with her mouth. She kept sucking her slowly while her smaller hand wrapped around her base, stroking her back into full hardness._

_“How can you?” She was hitting the back of her throat and Rachel seemed totally unaffected by it._

_“No gag reflex.” She released her with a pop and used her hand to work her up and down, while her nose nuzzled her hip. She had seen the tattoo when she was riding her, during their second round in bed. She traced the four letters with the tip of her tongue, while her hand cupped her base and squeezed it softly._

_“Oh God…” Quinn’s hand tangled in her hair, holding onto her without pushing or guiding her where she needed it the most. She just held it there, to feel her without any further motive._

_“You can come, you know...all over my hand.” Rachel nipped at her hip and it was enough to trigger Quinn’s release. She felt it land on her palm and wrist. She felt it warm and sticky drip along her fingers, as she used it to keep massaging it slowly._

_“Fuck…” She slumped against the headboard, loosening her hold around her hair. “Sorry…” She noticed the mess she had made, so she just got a napkin to clean her hand the best she could._

_“I told you to come, didn’t I?” Rachel threw the napkin aside and tugged her to lie down beside her. As soon as she was back on the pillow, she pulled her in for a soft kiss. She kissed her slowly while her hand slipped between their bodies to trace the four letters with her short nails. “Can I ask you something?” She whispered against her lips, tracing the tattoo with her finger._

_“It’s my name.” Quinn angled herself to cradle her head with her arms. “Lucy is my first name.”_

_“Oh…” Rachel pressed her palm against it and then looked back into her arms. “I like it. Lucy Quinn.” She nodded and leaned down to kiss her again, before slipping back on top of her._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Great job, guys.” Mr. Schue high-fived each of them as they got off the stage, to take their place behind the scenes and wait for the final results. “Quinn, your solo was impeccable. Really…” He patted her shoulders, squeezing her tight enough to confirm he meant every word. “It gave me chills.”

“Thanks Mr. Schue.” She coughed softly and looked around the room, finding Sam and Santana’s approving eyes with her. She could feel Marley’s eyes on hers but she couldn’t really go there. She couldn’t see the disappointment cross her face, again. 

“You were amazing, mate.” Sam pulled her in his arms as soon as she was at arms’ reach. “I got chicken pox all over my arms. See?” He showed her, but she swatted him away. 

“It’s goosebumps, Sam.” Quinn was grateful for him. He had been her rock through it all and was still there, holding her up when she tripped over herself. 

“You’re such an idiot, Evan.” Santana draped her arm over her shoulder, steering her away from searching for ex’s eyes through the group. “Really, Q, where did you keep it? It was freaking amazing.” 

“I guess I had a lot to express.” Quinn shrugged softly. She sighed and looked at the letters on her wrist. She traced it with her fingers and then sighed. 1 year. 

“Quinn?” A familiar voice startled them all. 

“Marley.” Quinn could’ve recognized it anywhere. She turned to look at the brunette, who had her head casted downwards and was staring at their performance shoes. 

“Can we have a word?” She nodded towards the balcony outside the room, where the show choirs were supposed to wait. 

“Of course.” She followed the brunette outside, under the watchful eyes of her best friends. 

“Your performance was…” Marley leaned against the railing and looked at the sun setting over the horizon. “It was for her, wasn’t it?” 

“You know it was.” Quinn leaned beside her, hands against the railing. “I am always thinking of her…”

“I know, it’s what I do too.” Marley looked at her profile. “I have been awful to you.” 

“I can’t blame you for it. Hadn’t it been for me, we wouldn’t have gotten there.” She gulped slowly. “If I had been more careful, we would haven’t found ourselves dealing with this.” She gripped the railings tighter. “It’s all my fault if we lost her.” 

“No, Quinn.” Marley turned to stare at her. “It’s no one’s fault.” She tentatively reached up to tuck a loose strand behind her ear. “It’s not your fault if our first time led us to that…” She kept stroking her hair slowly, remembering how much she used to like it when she felt sad or bad about herself. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better than you by my side when we found out about Beth. Anyone better than you to be my first.” 

“So, you don’t hate me?” Quinn looked at her. 

“I could never hate you for making Beth with me.” She cupped her face with her palm and used her other hand to stroke the 4 letters on her wrist. She had done the same to her own hand. “And it’s okay to say her name too.” 

“Our baby.” She couldn’t help the tears from falling when Marley stepped up in her arms and hugged her for the first time since they had lost her. Since they had to say goodbye to their daughter before it was even time to. 

“It’s not your fault, Quinn.” Marley held her head against the crook of her neck. “I’m so sorry for taking it out on you.” She sniffed against her shoulder, unable to keep her own tears at bay. “I treated you like shit and you never said anything. You let me use you like a punching bag.” 

“It’s okay, I could handle it.” Quinn wiped her cheeks and looked at her ex-girlfriend, who was crying like her. 

“No, Quinn.” Marley wiped her cheeks with her hands. “You couldn’t and I should’ve known better than putting you through it.” She leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I did to you, Quinn?” She kissed her forehead softly. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“Who is waiting for you, at home?” Quinn lied on her side - perched on her elbow - and was tracing the length of her spine with her forefinger. She was slowly trailing back and forth until she reached the hem of the blanket, covering them from waist down._

_“No one really.” She rested her cheek against her laced fingers and stared up at the pink haired girl, who had made her come almost more times in one night than herself in the past 3 years._

_“I thought you were seeing someone.” She kept trailing her fingertip along it until something caught her eyes. It was a small tattoo on her right shoulder. She had noticed it while they were having sex, but she could take a closer look now._

_“I am.” She smirked when Quinn raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s complicated.”_

_“When is it not?” She chuckled softly. “Do you want to talk about it?” She didn’t know if they were supposed to go there, after they had done pretty much everything together._

_“Not really, no.” Rachel scooted closer to her, holding the blanket over them as she did. “Isn’t there anyone waiting for you at home? Wondering where you are?” She nuzzled her face against her breasts, blowing some warm air on the skin between them._

_“No one. I just texted my best friend about where I am.” Her fingers traded through her chestnut locks. They were messy from all the activity they had been doing, all night long into the early morning._

_“What about your folks?” She nuzzled her sternum slowly and used her hand to caress her abs, dipping as far as the blanket allowed her to._

_“I could be dead for all they care. Probably, they’d be happier if I was…” She rolled on her back with her hands behind her head._

_“I am sure it’s not true.” Rachel rested her chin on her chest to stare at her. She was a natural beauty, there was no need to deny that. She was beautiful despite the hard mask she put on. “You’re not naturally pink haired, are you?”_

_  
_ _“What a brilliant intuition, Miss Rachel Holmes.” Quinn smirked at the brunette. “I dyed them pink a few months ago.”_

_“What’s your natural hair color?” She pecked her smirk and brought her hand up to stroke her hair back._

_“Blonde. We are all blonde.” She sighed when she felt her fingers run through her hair. She loved having her hair stroked. She loved it when she was a kid and she loved it now._

_“You’re going to fall asleep on me?” She checked the time on the nightstand. It was almost 6 in the morning and they hadn’t stopped until after the very last round._

_“No. I just like when people stroke my hair.” Quinn’s eyes fluttered open to stare at Rachel, who was hovering her with a smile._

_“It’s a pretty nice feeling.” She nodded and nuzzled her cheek with the tip of her nose. “What time is check-out again?”_

_“11 I think.” She closed her eyes again. This time the feeling of her hair stroked and the warmth coming from Rachel’s body was sending her into Morpheus’ arms._

_“We can sleep some, don’t you think?” Rachel kissed her ear and reached for her phone to set up an alarm. “Sleep well, Quinn.” She kissed her temple when she noticed she had dozed off, quietly._


	2. Part 2

**thanks for the great reviews! Hope you'll like this new chapter**

**PART 2**

“You’re 18?” She stormed inside the room and threw the newspaper onto the bed beside the younger woman, who had just gotten into the room herself. “You’re 18, Quinn!”

“Will you keep your voice down?” She checked the newspaper and found what Rachel was talking about. Her face was all over Lima Today edition, on the entertainment section. “I can explain.” 

“You can explain why you lied about being 21? God, you said almost...three years is not almost, Quinn.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re 18 at least or should I wait for the police to come knock on my door because of statutory rape?” 

“Of course not, I am 18.” She tried to get closer. “You need to calm down, ok? I am sorry I lied to you but...we met in a bar and I look older than I am, I shouldn’t have kept it from you for so long.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” She took in a deep breath. “You’re an high school kid, for fuck’s sake.” She looked at her, but she couldn’t really see it. She couldn’t see a kid in front of her. She saw someone who had gone through so much that she had to mature way past her age. 

“Don’t call me kid.” Quinn said through her gritted teeth. “I am not a kid. I am the same woman you dragged back here to fuck for hours and you kept meeting here, because your husband is not around.”

“You’re 18, Quinn. You’re in high school.” She sighed. “You’re a kid.” 

“So, what now? You’re going to stop this because I am in high school? I’m 18 not 12, Rachel. You’re just 7 years older than I am.” She scoffed. “Do I look like a kid to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Rachel looked away from her. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Rachel, look at me.” She cupped her face and pulled her chin up. “Rachel…”

“No, Quinn. This was a mistake.” Rachel tried to escape her grip but she found herself pinned against the wall, with her hands at her sides. 

“Look at me one last time and say it again.” Quinn nudged her head softly. “If you can look me in the eyes and say it, I will walk out of this room forever and you’ll never see me again.” 

“Quinn…” Rachel turned to stare at her. She opened her mouth to say it but the words died in her throat. 

“Rachel…” Her hands cupped her face and her body moved forward, pinning the brunette against the wall behind them. “I am not a kid, okay? Just let me do this with you.” She closed her mouth over hers, swiping every doubt off her mind. Her elbows rested each side of her head, to brace herself against, while Rachel’s arms held onto her waist, pulling her closer. 

“Don’t lie to me again. Got it?” She bit on her bottom lip to send her message through. She soothed it with her tongue, once Quinn nodded softly and nudged their foreheads together. 

“Don’t call me a kid again.” She lifted the brunette off the floor and walked backwards toward the familiar bed. Dropping her on it, she crawled between her legs and pinned her hands above their heads, stretching against her. 

“What about calling you baby?” Rachel moaned against her lips when the pink haired girl rolled her hips down, rubbing their crotches together through their clothes. She could feel her panties get stickier with each roll of her hips. 

“Baby is fine.” Quinn nudged her head to the side to bury her face in the crook of her neck. She bit hard on her pulse when their fingers laced against the mattress and their hips slammed together. She just needed them both naked. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“I didn’t think you’d want us to meet again.” Quinn was already in their room when Rachel entered, wearing dark sunglasses and a hat to hide her hair._

_“You were not confident about your performance, Quinn?” Rachel dropped the glasses and the hat by the door and locked it behind herself._

_“Oh please. I don’t think you ever had so many orgasms like those I gave you.” She scoffed and looked at the brunette, who had kicked her heels off to the side and was unzipping her dress. “Need a hand?”_

_“You’re good at washing women’s backs?” She smirked when the dress pooled at her feet and she kicked it towards the pink haired girl, who caught it with her hand. “Nice catch.”_

_“I tried for the softball team, but made it to the Cheerleader team.” She folded it neatly and sat it on the desk under the small TV._

_“You’re a cheerleader?” Rachel sauntered over to where she stood and reached for the hem of her t-shirt. “Up.” She nodded to her arms and, as soon as she followed her instructions, she pulled it off along with her bra._

_“Was. Head Cheerleader, actually.” She felt the cross drop back against her bare chest. It was cold against her suddenly heated skin._

_“The golden girl, right?” She fingered the cross and looked up at her. “The perfect girl who made a mistake and had to give up on everything for it.”_

_“What’s your story?” She rested her hand on the tattoo on her right shoulder. She traced it slowly, seeing a pang of sadness cloud her eyes. “It has something to do with music or you wouldn’t have it tattooed on your skin.”_

_“It’s a story for another time, Quinn.” She pulled her closer by her cross and leaned on her tiptoes to brush a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”_

_“You just had to ask.” Quinn smirked against her lips and just proceeded to push her pants and boxers off, standing in the nude in front of her. She had no shame about the way she looked. Rachel had seen her naked already and she had definitely appreciated her. “Your turn.”_

_“Make me.” Rachel took a step back towards the bathroom but the other woman was quicker on her feet. She had her pinned against the desk with one hand between her legs and the other arm circling her waist. “God.” She felt her fingers rub her through the panties and she just wished she had taken them off along with her dress._

_“Maybe we should keep them on.” Her fingers rubbed tight circles around her nub through the panties. She kept on massaging it softly while her lips trailed along her jawline, peppering it with soft kisses and nips. “Maybe I should make you cream them, so you’ll keep a reminder of what I do to you when you get home.”_

_“I’d never forget what you do to me, Quinn.” She locked her legs around her waist and rolled her hips back and forth, to meet the palm rubbing her so good._

_“You are soaking them through.” She could smell her excitement from where she stood. She could feel it coat her fingers, so she just showed mercy and tugged them off, exposing her core to the colder air of the room._

_“Rub me, Quinn.” She whined when the girl’s fingers disappeared from her core. She was just parting her legs by her thighs and stood there, not doing anything but stare at her._

_“Rub you?” She smirked when her tip bumped against the underside of her clit. “Like this?” She dragged it back and down, feeling it twitch against her sensitive dick._

_“Yeah, God. Stick it in.” She knew they needed to get protection but feeling her against her was just driving her crazy._

_“Let’s shower first. You totally need to cool down.” Quinn dragged herself through her folds one more time before she pulled her to her feet and tugged her towards their ensuite bathroom._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Isn’t it a little sad?” Quinn stared out of the window of their hotel room. She watched the snow fall slowly while they basked in the aftermath of another encounter. 

“What’s sad?” Rachel’s head rested sideways against her stomach, tracing the tattoo on her hip with her fingertips. 

“That you’re not spending Xmas Eve with him.” Her hand trailed along her side under the blanket that covered their naked bodies, even if partially. “He didn’t ask you to stay?” 

“He never does.” She nuzzled her stomach slowly. “Finn is not stupid, but it’s easier to ignore that I am having an affair behind his back.” 

“Why do you keep doing it? Why don’t you get a divorce?” Quinn stroked her shoulder and upper arm, drawing imaginary circles around the musical note that held so many questions. 

“His mother is dying.” Rachel dropped a kiss against the 4 letters on her hip and then scaled up her front to rest on her side, with her hand against her ribs. “We came to Lima to be here when that will happen.” She kissed her shoulder and looked up at her young lover. “Our marriage was over before it even began.” 

“When did you get married?” Quinn lifted the blanket more around them and tucked their naked bodies in it. It was chillier than usual in the room and she needed to borrow more of her body heat. 

“Senior year in high school”. Rachel lifted her hand to trace the side of her face, playing with the longer hair framing it. “I had just turned 18.”

“A kid, huh?” Quinn leaned in to peck her lips, before they turned into a pout. 

“We thought we could make it work as a couple more than separately.” She scooted closer into Quinn’s side, slipping her leg around one of hers. “I moved to New York to study at NYADA and he followed me there. He pulled long hours at a tire shop outside the city to pay the rent and I took a part time job as a waitress to contribute.” 

“What did you study there? Music?” Quinn’s fingers reached for the musical note that marked her. 

“Music and drama. I wanted to become a Broadway singer.” She looked away from her. She had been so stupid and naive. Broadway wasn’t for anyone. It wasn’t for a small town girl with dreams bigger than her talent. It wasn’t for a girl with a husband in tow with bills to pay and rent due by the end of the month. 

“But it didn’t happen, did it?” Quinn never ceased stroking some patch of skin. She never stopped stroking along her shoulder and down the forearms loosely wrapped around her stomach. She just trailed her fingers along it until she laced their hands against her side. 

“Bills piled up and Finn couldn’t manage it on his own. I took a sabbatical year from NYADA with the idea of saving enough to get back to it after 1 year.” She hid her face against her shoulder. “1 year became 2 and then 3 and then NYADA was just another failed dream.” 

“But you stayed in New York...you could’ve made it without school, no? With auditions and callbacks.” Quinn spoked against her forehead. 

“I did at the beginning but there was always someone better than me or with better connections. I gave up after 6 months of nothing.” She sniffed. “My mother got me a job at a private school as a singing coach and that’s what I did. The pay was good enough.” 

“But you and Finn ended up resenting each other for it?” She rested her cheek against her forehead, feeling the brunette shift closer. “You had both sacrificed so much, including your relationship.”

“We tried to make it work again but it never felt like before.” She wiped her cheek slowly. “You can’t make it work if the love is no longer there...we were going to get a divorce when we got the news about his Mom and we couldn’t do this to her. We can wait.” 

“So, he knows about us?” Quinn looked down at her. 

“No, of course not. But he knows I am going behind his back and I am sure he’s doing the same.” She sighed softly. She had seen the stains on his shirts. She had smelled the feminine perfume all over his clothes. He was just being careless about it. 

“That’s even sadder.” Quinn whispered against her forehead. “You’re sure you want to be here, with me?” 

“Nobody’s home, Quinn.” Rachel tilted her head upwards to stare at her. “But I won’t keep you if you have a family to go back to. You don’t need to stay with me…”

“I don’t have a family to go back to, Rachel. My best friend took me in when they kicked me out and I’ve been living in their spare room since then. They won’t miss me.” Quinn pulled her in to brush their lips together. “We can stay here, as long as you wish.” 

“Just kiss me, Quinn…” She rolled on her back and pulled her with her, leading her down for another kiss with one hand while the other searched for a foiled package on the nightstand. She needed to feel her inside her, once more. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“Holy shit, don’t stop.” Rachel held onto the back of her head and kept it against her neck. She felt her push back inside her from behind, one arm around her chest palming her breasts alternatively and one between her legs, rubbing her as she pounded into her._

_“You feel so good.” Quinn moaned in her ear from behind. She groaned in her ear when she felt her buck back into her, pushing into her groin._

_“So do you.” She gripped the sheets tighter. She was so deep. She felt so full._

_“God, Rachel…” Her hands dropped to the mattress under them. She held herself on her fours over the brunette, bent over for her. She simply rolled her hips back and forth, sliding into her at a hard pace._

_“Fuck yeah.” She raised herself on her fours under Quinn. She felt her breasts press up against her back and her hips slap against her ass, with each thrust in._

_“I am so close…” Quinn’s hand cupped her again. She rubbed her fingers along the length of her core, sending jolts of pleasure through her body with each movement of her wrist._

_“Me too. Keep rubbing me.” She covered her hand with hers, guiding her long fingers to the underside of her aching clit. She needed one more tug. One more caress to send her over the edge. “Quinnnnn” She moaned out, tightening impossibly around her length._

_“Fuck...fuck...fuck.” Quinn pinched the nub between her fingers. She pinched it again to feel her walls catch her in a grip so tight that she couldn’t help but let herself in the latex around her._

_“Fuck, Quinn.” Rachel pulled her hand from between her legs and kissed the inside of her wrist, reading the tattooed letters there._

_“You are so tight.” She pulled out and rolled the condom off. It was uncomfortably sticky after she had shot within its confinements._

_“You totally love it.” She dropped on her back and watched Quinn do the same, beside her. “Is she waiting for you home?”_

_“Who?” Quinn looked at her with an eyebrow raised._

_“Beth. Is she waiting for you to come home?” She brushed her thumb over the inked letters on her skin._

_“No. She is not.” Quinn looked away from that name and looked up at the ceiling._

_“A story for another time, huh?” She rolled on her side and leaned her head against her bicep, hugging her arm to her chest._

_“Like the wedding band in your purse?” She looked at the brunette, who had stiffened in her arms. “I saw it when I was looking for your room key.”_

_“I told you I wasn’t technically free.” She nuzzled her forearm slowly, almost hiding herself behind it._

_“Finn and I have been married for the past 7 years but it ended years ago.”_

_“You don’t owe me anything.” Quinn curled on her side to stroke her hair with her other hand. “We are just having sex, no strings attached. No need for a pillow talk if you are uncomfortable.”_

_“Thanks.” She nodded and pecked her lips softly._

_“Anytime.” She pulled the blanket more around them and shifted to lie on her same pillow. “Do you work here in Lima?”_

_“Carmel High.” She laced their fingers against the mattress. “I am a vocal coach.”_

_“You’re coaching Vocal Adrenaline?” She chuckled at the irony. Sleeping with the “enemy”._

_“How do you know us?” Rachel raised an eyebrow in question._

_“My old high school choir used to compete with them. I used to be in Glee too.” She remembered why she had joined her. Marley had convinced her to and she had not been able to say no to her. She had never been able to deny her anything._

_“You were in a school choir group? Miss Head Cheerleader.” She poked her chest and rolled on her back, chuckling._

_“Hey! Just because I was a cheerleader, it doesn’t mean I felt superior to them. They are my family.” Quinn followed after her, pinning their hands above their heads._

_“It’s just out of ordinary. Popular crowds didn’t fit in with choir groups, when I went to high school.” She remembered why she had fallen for Finn in the first place. He had joined them despite it ruining his reputation. He had joined it for her._

_“I had a good reason to join and my best friends followed me.” Quinn looked briefly away. She had dragged Sam and Santana there with her, just because Marley had asked her to. Just because she loved her and now they could barely stare at each other for less than 5 seconds._

_“Probably a girl.” Rachel nuzzled her cheek softly. “Don’t worry, my husband followed me in there too. But he got a backlash for it.”_

_“He stayed with you?” Quinn looked at her. She had never felt it would have affected her reputation. She scared people too much to care._

_“We had our ups and downs.” Rachel pecked her again and slipped her hands from Quinn’s to trail them down her back and slip under the blanket. “Got enough rest, stud?”_

_“You want to go at it, again?” Quinn chuckled when she felt her hands squeeze her ass._

_“What if I want to?” Rachel scratched her nails along her asscheeks, causing her hardness to brush against her wetness without a barrier between them. She really wanted Quinn to do her raw, but she didn’t want to risk it._

_“Just checking.” Quinn grabbed on the blanket and threw it over their heads, while she descended along her front with her kisses._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Quinn?” Rachel stirred awake and found herself alone in their bed. The other side of the mattress was cold enough to tell her the other woman had left and it was a while now. Sitting up, she pulled the blanket to her chest and wrapped it around herself. The temperature had dropped and there was not Quinn’s body to keep her warm. 

Checking her phone, she saw a text from her Dad on his second cruise to Mexico since his husband had passed away . She sent a quick reply back and then searched for Finn’s contact. Nothing. He hadn’t called or texted her. It was like they weren’t even part of each other’s lives anymore. 

She was still sitting there, hovering the phone contact with her thumb when the door opened and familiar footsteps were heard in the small hallway. It didn’t take much for her to catch a glimpse of pink hair, under a Santa red hat and three bags of what she assumed were takeout food and random stuff. 

“Oh hey, merry Xmas.” Quinn smiled at her and Rachel couldn’t help the flutter in her chest. It was a smile that could just light a whole room up, but it was switching something else on within her. 

“Merry Xmas.” She dragged herself out of bed and to where the taller woman was, digging into her bags. “Aren’t we supposed to check out?”

“Oh right.” Quinn rubbed the back of her head. “Look, if you don’t wanna do this, I can pay for all of it.”

“Do what?” Rachel smiled at the light blush on her cheek. Was it embarrassment or the cold? 

“I booked the room for the whole day. I know it’s Xmas but I have nowhere to go and my best friend needs time with his family, without me being there to make it all sad and depressing.” She looked at her. “You don’t have to stay.”

“But I can, can’t I?” She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss her softly. 

“Yes, I booked it for two.” Quinn’s hand cupped her face to kiss her softly. “Merry Xmas.”

“I’m Jewish.” Rachel chuckled against her lips. “But I appreciate the spirit.” 

“Oh, fuck. I can go buy something for you.” She nodded to the door. 

“Quinn, don’t fret about it. What have you got there?” Rachel peered inside the bag.

“One is food. I remember you mentioned you were vegetarian?” She looked at the brunette. “I got veggie pad thai and the chicken one for me. A couple of diet cokes and some water.” She pointed to one bag. 

“And the other two?” Rachel pulled it towards her.

“I got a couple of Xmas decorations for the room, stickers that we can take off tomorrow.” She showed her the snowman ones. “A hat.” She produced a Santa hat like hers and sat it on Rachel’s head. “You’re a cute little Santa.” 

“You better stop making fun of my height, Miss Fabray, if you want to continue to tap this.” She pointed to herself with a mischievous smile. 

“Alright. No height jokes.” Smirking she got a couple of candy canes out. “These are supposed to be vegetarian?”

“Vegan. I was vegan but I could care less.” She unwrapped one and brought it to her mouth, moaning when her lips closed around its head.

“Fuck, you like that?” Quinn felt herself harden. She had seen that a lot and usually, those lips were around her. 

“It’s sweet. Almost like you.” She winked at her, knowing what she was referring to. “What else?”

“Well, useful things.” She got a small bottle of mouthwash and a pack of condoms. “Better be safe, right?” She chuckled. 

“Right.” Rachel smirked and kissed her cheek. “You got us movies?”

“I rented them. I saw the Dvd player...we could watch some while we have this.” She dumped the chocolate delicacies from the bag on the desk.

“God, Quinn. What did you do?” Rachel chuckled at the mess on the desk. Candies and chocolate bars were all over the place. 

“Too much?” She grinned like a kid. “It’s chocolate. It will never go wasted.” 

“True that.” She chuckled around the cane. “I wish we had brought some change of clothes to lie around and be lazy.”

“You look pretty great to me.” Quinn winked and then reached for the last bag. “You’re a small size or a 16 for kids?” She got a pair of sweats and an ugly Xmas sweater out of the bag. 

“Jerk.” She snatched the clothes from her hand and just dropped the blanket to slip them on. “So soft and fluffy.”

“You’re not going to wear anything under it?” She gulped. 

“What for? I don’t think they’ll stay on for long, right?” She smacked her ass and kept on sucking on her candy cane. “Start decorating Fabray, I am famished.”

“Bossy. Always so bossy.” Quinn groaned under her breath while Rachel settled back in bed, watching her. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_She was the last person she was supposed to run into, once entered the bathroom on the third floor, but, also, the one she wanted to see the most. She was standing by the mirror, washing her face from another slushie facial but she was as beautiful as she remembered._

_“Take a picture, it will last longer.” Marley’s voice was hard. She had not been able to address her without anything but pain and anger._

_“I told Santana to stop these.” Quinn leaned against the wall between the bathroom stalls and watched her._

_“Well, ask again. She must’ve gone deaf after that boob surgery.” She dropped the napkins in the trash can. “Is there anything you wanted?”_

_“No. Not really.” Quinn looked away from her and her eyes fell on the tattoo on her wrist._

_“Why the new hairstyle?” Marley nodded to the pink hair and shorter haircut. “Rebel phase?”_

_“You know why, Mar.” Quinn sighed softly. It was the same reason they had gotten that together and spent one last night together, to remember what they had lost._

_“Don’t call me like that.” Marley wiped her face softly. It wasn’t the slushie anymore. “You can’t, Quinn.”_

_“And who decided that? You chose for us…” Quinn shook her head. “So, don’t pretend you don’t know why I am doing this.”_

_“It was your choice. I didn’t dye your hair.” She looked at her through the mirror. “Nor I asked you to tell your parents about us.”_

_“I wanted to do the right thing for you.” Quinn pushed herself off the wall. “I hoped they’d be more understanding of what was going on.”_

_“Their daughter getting a girl pregnant out of wedlock? God, Quinn...they threatened to cut your junk off!” She turned to face her. “They would have never supported us!”_

_“Yeah.” Quinn looked away. Telling them had resulted in packing her bags in 30 minutes and moving into Sam’s spare room._

_“But it doesn’t even matter anymore. You could go back to them and pretend this never happened.” She looked down at her own left wrist._

_“How? How can you ask me that?” Quinn’s eyes burnt holes into her head._

_“I moved on from you and everything. I need to focus on graduating and getting the furthest away from here.” Marley tried to move past her, but Quinn’s hand held her by the wrist._

_“I won’t. I won’t ever forget what happened between us. You were my first love, Marley and she-“_

_“Forget about it, Quinn. Forget about her. Forget about me.” Marley looked at her. “Forget and move on or the past will eat you alive.” Marley pulled away from her grasp and slipped out of the bathroom, before Quinn could see the tears in her eyes and detect the lie on her face._

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Another kiss?” Quinn opened her palm and presented her with another Hershey kiss.

“You are a smooth one huh?” Rachel kissed her cheek and took it, unwrapping it before popping it in her mouth. She had lost count of how many chocolate kisses and bars they had eaten, throughout the whole afternoon. 

“I’m just being polite.” Quinn smirked. Crossing her legs in front of her, she smiled upon seeing Lucy and Linus banter on the stage for the same old reason. His blanket. 

“I ate too much chocolate.” She rubbed her stomach, feeling it ache.

“Come here, I’ll massage it for you.” Quinn wiped her hands and reclined against the headboard making room for Rachel between her legs. 

“You’re sure? I can walk it out.” Rachel slipped in her lap with her back to her front and settled comfortably, stretching her legs until her feet brushed against the girl’s bare calves, where her pants had rolled upwards. 

“Here?” Her palm slipped under the hem of her sweater to press against her upper stomach.

“Yeah.” Rachel closed her eyes and let her head drop against Quinn’s shoulder.

“Relax for me.” Quinn nuzzled her temple softly and brought her other hand under as well. This hand slid lower to caress the skin below her belly button. 

“I am.” Her fingers dropped to her thighs. She held onto them when Quinn’s fingers slid dangerously low to brush through her short curls. 

“Still in pain?” Her left hand kept rubbing her stomach. She rubbed it slowly up and down, hoping to settle her ache.

“Better.” She arched back into her when her fingers dipped enough to swipe through her wetness. One touch and she was drenched. 

“Yeah, totally better.” Quinn nibbled on her ear softly. 

“Quinn…” Her head turned upwards to find her lips with hers. They hadn’t kissed for hours and she already missed it. She missed Quinn’s mouth when she had it right there, for her pleasure. 

“Rachel…” Her thumb brushed over her clit enough to make her moan out in her lips. 

“The pants.” She whined when the fabric rubbed against her core, that was getting wetter. 

“Shall we take them off?” Quinn smirked.

“God yes.” She pulled from her arms enough to kick her pants off and then straddle her, facing her. “Also this…” She started tugging at her sweater but Quinn stopped her. 

“Keep it.” Her eyes traveled up and down her front. The sweater fell just above her hips, leaving her bottom half completely bare for her enjoyment. 

“You want to fuck me half-naked?” She brought her hands up her sweater to her breasts. She pushed her chest against her palms while her hips rolled back and forth, grinding against the front of her sweatpants. 

“You’re getting me wet.” She smirked. Her fingers twisted her nipples slowly. With each movement, Rachel’s hips shot forward, grinding harder into her front. 

**“** Take them off. Keep the sweater.” She pecked her lips and reclined at the foot of the bed, head almost hanging from the edge of it. 

“As you wish.” She dropped them onto the floor and reached for a couple of condoms, throwing them aside. She crawled over her and leaned down to brush her lips along her inner thighs as she got closer. “You smell so good.”

“Quinn.” Rachel’s hand grabbed onto her hair when she felt a familiar tongue part her wet lips. Her tongue was going to be the death of her.

“You taste even better.” She parted her thighs with her palms and made more room for her face. She nuzzled her nose along her clit. She nuzzled it slowly while her tongue circled her hole. 

“Fuck…” She let her head drop back. Staring upside down at the tv, it was almost blasphemous how she watched a Xmas show for kids while getting head from her younger lover. 

**“** You’re going to strain your neck.” Quinn crawled upwards and pulled from her waist, sliding her until her head was resting comfortably against the mattress.

“You could always give me a massage.” Her thighs fell apart to welcome in between them.

“It didn’t last long did it?” She reached for the remote to shut it down and let the silence drop inside the room. 

“I am glad it’s you.” She traced the contour of her face with her fingers. She saw them bathed in the pale moonlight coming through the window. It was snowing again. 

“It’s me what?” She dropped her weight on her elbows each side of her head. She rested there while her fingers brushed her hair back, behind her ears.

“The one I am spending Xmas with.” Rachel’s legs locked behind her thighs to get her closer, feeling her length slip between her legs slowly. 

“I am glad as well.” Quinn dropped a butterfly kiss on her lips. 

“Get in.” Rachel whispered against her mouth. She kept her head there when she read the uncertainty in her eyes. “Like this…”

“Okay.” She guided herself slowly inside of her and held her breath. It was so hot and tight and that she could just come already.

“Like that.” She arched under her to take her fully inside, until there was nothing else to push in. 

“Give me a second.” Quinn breathed hard. Her fingers trembled in Rachel’s hair and her abs were so tight that she felt like she could explode any moment.

“It’s okay, you know? You can let go.” Rachel nuzzled her tensed jaw slowly. It wasn’t the first time she wouldn’t come along with her partner. 

“No.” Quinn gulped softly and thought of something else. She thought of something that was not her core tightening around her, without moving. 

“Stubborn.” Rachel kissed her cheek. Her hands trailed down her back to slip under the hem of her sweater to palm her hips. 

“Yeah.” Quinn released a soft sigh when she started rolling her hips back and forth. Easier to be said than done. She had to concentrate hard not to spill it already. 

“Hot.” Rachel closed her eyes. She had focused on Quinn enough to enjoy the feeling of her inside of her like that. She could feel her everywhere and it was driving her crazy. 

“Yes. You’re so hot.” Quinn nuzzled her face against hers. She panted in her ear with each thrust in. The moment she slipped in, she felt Rachel’s nails scratch along her hips. 

“You are. You are so good at this.” Rachel wasn’t lying. No one had fucked her like Quinn did. No one had taken care of her needs in the same way. 

“Practice makes it better.” She pecked her ear. She nipped at her tender earlobe when she gyrated forward, sliding back in. 

“We practice a lot.” Rachel whimpered in her ear. She couldn’t help it when she felt a familiar hand sneak between her legs to rub her upper lips. 

“Indeed.” Quinn rested their foreheads together. She stared down into her eyes when their hips fell into a familiar rhythm. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t hard. It was slow and intense. It was something else from what they usually did. 

“What are you thinking of?” Rachel’s hands returned to her cheeks. She kept them there to stop her from hiding in her neck. From hiding her emotions.

“This is not-” Quinn closed her eyes and flattened more against Rachel, holding her there while their lower bodies slapped together, in unison. 

“I know.” Rachel nodded and tilted her head to the side to kiss her questions away. She had no answers to provide so she just kissed her softly, while their bodies kept searching for one another. 

There would be time to find the answers together, right? 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

_“You don’t have to wash dishes, you know?” She was so lost in her thoughts that she was startled by his voice, making her drop the glass in the sink. Luckily, she didn’t break it. “Sorry…”_

_“I don’t mind.” Quinn took the glass from the sink and rinsed it out._

_“But that’s why we have a dishwasher.” Dwight Evans leaned against the kitchen counter and handled her the towel, to wipe her hands with._

_“Just a glass and a plate, it wasn’t really much of a hassle. Sorry I was late for dinner.” Quinn folded it neatly and looked up at the man, who had Sam’s eyes. The rest was all his mother’s._

_“It’s fine. We don’t expect you to join us all the time, Quinn.” He looked at her with a soft smile. “I know this is not easy for you. You must be missing home.”_

_“Not as much as you’d think of.” She shrugged. She had a house but it had never been a home to her. Not since she had chosen not to do that expensive surgery that would’ve made her a real woman. Like her family wanted her to be._

_“This is your home too, Quinn.” Dwight squeezed her hand on the counter. “I know you feel like a burden to us and that’s why you hide yourself most of the time, but we are grateful for you.” He squeezed her wrist, over the tattoo she had done months before. “Sam might go to college thanks to you.”_

_“I didn’t do anything. He did it.” She shook her head lightly._

_“He may have done it with your help. His grades picked up after you started tutoring him.” He left her wrist. “Stacie started reading on her own and I know it’s your doing too.”_

_“She just needed a push in the right direction. They are all smart enough to do anything they want.” Quinn stuffed her hand down the back pocket of her ripped jeans._

_“They are, but you helped them see that.” He smiled at her._

_“Maybe…” She shrugged, feeling the phone vibrate in her pocket. It was probably Rachel’s texting her._

_“Are you being safe?” Dwight said softly as she started walking out of the kitchen. “Not just physically…”_

_“Yeah, I think so.” Quinn stopped dead in her tracks and leaned against thr open archway._

_“We understand that sometimes you need to run, the furthest away, to see things with the right perspective but just remember that you have a home to come back to.” Dwight squeezed her shoulders softly. “And a family to welcome you home.” He went to pull away when the pink haired girl turned around and hugged him around his waist._

_She hugged him and started sobbing his arms, making him painfully aware that she had been broken under so many levels, that it was almost impossible to put it all back together._

_Almost…_

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t talk about the fact something had changed between them, that night. 

That the way they brought each other comfort hadn’t been the usual way. It hadn’t been needy and desperate. Or fast and hard paced.

It had slowed everything and it had meant something else. Something they were obviously not ready to admit. 

“I wasn’t sure you’d come.” Rachel pushed herself off the side of her car and lifted her sunglasses over her head. It was sunny enough despite it being early January. 

“I wasn’t sure I was going to see you at all.” She pushed her own short hair back with her glasses, revealing the lone pink streak under her dirty blonde hair. 

“I needed time to think.” Rachel looked away from her piercing hazel eyes. How didn’t she even notice the golden nuances in them? They were simply captivating. 

“I gathered that.” Quinn nodded softly. “You want to break this off, right?” 

“That’s the first thing coming to your mind?” She sighed softly. 

“Why would you ask me to meet you here? Public place and zero temptation to fall in bed one last time. I watched enough movies to know this is how you break up with someone.” Quinn stuffed her hands down the pockets of her jacket. “You should go ahead and say it. Rip it off like a band aid. We’re adults here.”

“You’re not.” Rachel took a step closer and reached up to tuck a loose strand hair back, behind the temple tip of her sunglasses. “You’re still a scared kid used to jumping to the worst scenarios.”

“I am not scared.” Quinn looked down into her eyes. “And I am not a kid.”

“Yes you are, but it’s fine ‘cause I like you the way you are.” Rachel cupped her cold cheek, brushing her thumb over her cheekbone. “I needed time to think about this, Quinn, because it’s not what it used to be and I had to deal with it.”

“What’s this?” Quinn held her hand against her cheek. 

“Why don’t we talk about it over a cup of coffee and some breakfast? Tony’s is famous for his crunchy bacon.” She nodded to the diner to the side. 

“You want to have breakfast with me?” Quinn looked between the diner and the brunette. 

“We spent enough nights together to earn a morning after, don’t you think?” She leaned on her tiptoes to peck her lips softly. “It is a neutral zone compared to our hotel room.”

“We won’t be tempted to rip each other’s clothes off.” Quinn nodded and kissed her forehead. 

“Speak for yourself. Your new hair is making it hard for me to resist that urge.” Her hands slid down the lapels of her jacket.

“I just lost the pink. My New Year resolution.” Quinn took her by the hand and tugged her towards the diner 

“I like it.” She squeezed her hand and followed her. She followed after her when the now blonde opened the door for her and kept it open with her body, letting her first. 

“Welcome to Tony’s. How are you on this fine day?” A bubbly red haired woman in her 40s greeted them with a huge smile. Maybe too huge to be real. 

“We’re good. Do you have a table for two?” Rachel looked behind at Quinn, who nodded softly. “We’re here for your special breakfast menu.” 

“Of course dear, window or something more private?” She winked at the two women, who looked away embarrassed. “The latter, then.” She led them through the booths and tables until she found one partially covered by a pillar. “Coffee to start?”

“Latte for me.” Quinn dropped her jacket on the seat and slipped in, while Rachel did the same across from her. 

“Black for me, thank you.” Rachel took the plastic menu in her hands and scanned through it. 

“Is there anything edible for you? Besides the salad.” Quinn looked through the different choices but her eyes were drawn by the bacon special with hash-browns and scrambled eggs. 

“Yes. Don’t worry about it.” Rachel smiled up at the blonde who was still staring down at her menu. “Let me guess, bacon special?”

“Oh well, it’s supposed to be their top choice.” She shrugged. “Does it bother you?”

“I’ve witnessed worse, Quinn.” She smiled and called the waitress over, ready to place their orders. “So, one bacon special and the pancakes.” She handed her back the menus with a smile.

“Your beverages are on the way, dear.” The waitress took off towards the kitchen to place the orders, leaving them alone.

“Is it a date?” Quinn blurted out as soon as she was at enough distance. 

“Straight to the point huh?” Rachel unfolded her napkin slowly and draped it over her lap. “Do you want it to be?”

“I am not the married one.” Quinn looked at her. 

“You know my marriage is just a pure formality. Finn and I are roommates.” Rachel rested her chin over her hand. 

“But you still sleep together.” She muttered softly.

“Under the same roof, but separate rooms.” Rachel kept on staring at her. “We haven’t slept together, in the same bed and doing more than that since last year...it was when we got the news about his Mom.”

“Oh.” Quinn looked away briefly. “Comfort sex.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Rachel pulled back when a hot mug of coffee was sitting in front of her. 

“How many?” Quinn took a sip from her latte. 

“How many what?” Rachel mirrored her. She savored the strong taste in her mouth. 

“Before me? How many?” She sat her mug down and took a wooden stir, adding some extra sugar to it. 

“2. It wasn’t anything going on for long. It was mostly a one night thing to take care of my needs.” She clasped her hands around the mug. “I never stayed enough to have breakfast with them.”

“I see…” Quinn nodded softly. There was a question lingering there, on the tip of her tongue. 

“How many did you have?” Rachel nodded when the waitress set the two plates in front of them. They looked both good to eat. 

“Only one who really mattered.” She looked down at her wrist. “And many faceless girls that were just there to scratch the hitch.” 

“The one you had a daughter with?” She reached across the table to trace the small tattoo with her fingers. 

“Yes. That’s her.” She took in a deep breath. 

“What am I going to be? One of those faceless girls?” Rachel tapped her wrist to catch her attention.

“You know the answer to that.” She covered her hand with her other hand. 

“Tell me.” She held her hand there, lacing their fingers together. 

“I don’t know what we are, Rachel.” She dropped her fork in her plate. “I don’t think I am able to put a label on this and frankly, I don’t think I want to.”

“Why not?” She slipped her fingers through Quinn’s, brushing her thumb over the back of her hand. 

“Because once you put a label on this, it becomes real. And when things get real, issues come to the surface and you’re pushed under, struggling to come up for air. We don’t need to give this a name. We can keep doing what we‘re doing.” She squeezed her hand. 

“And what are we doing?” Rachel looked at the blonde.

“I don’t know...but it feels right.” She looked up at her with a soft smile.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“I didn’t expect you to find you here.” Marley pulled her out from her thoughts. She was sitting on the highest bleachers’ row, wrapped in her navy blue jacket that kept her warm enough. 

“I come here from time to time.” Quinn scooted to the side to let her sit beside her, on the seat she had warmed up. Old habits die hard. 

“Do you miss it?” Marley looked over at the field and the pyramid of girls in the middle of it. She remembered sitting there and watching Quinn stand at the top. She watched her standing there, in all her glorious power. She stood there like an almost invincible warrior. But like Achilles, she had a weakness and it took her time to see that she was Quinn’s one. 

“Sometimes.” Quinn nodded softly. “But I miss so many things I lost count.”

“You haven’t seen them again?” Marley wrapped her arms around herself, hands under her armpits to warm herself up. 

“No. I have nothing to do with those people.” She shook her head and leaned back, staring up at the clear sky. “They never cared enough about me, so why should I go back to someone who kicked me out for loving you?”

“I am sorry.” Marley looked away from her.

“For?” Quinn turned to stare at her profile.

“You lost everything because of me.” The brunette stared at her. “I should’ve taken care of it without telling you.”

“By giving up on her and lying to me? You think it would’ve hurt me less?” Quinn scoffed. “I was equally responsible for it and I would’ve wanted to be there whether you had chosen to keep her, like we did, or not.”

“I know…” Marley nodded softly. “I would have never been able to keep it from you.”

“I know.” Quinn kissed her forehead softly. “What brings you here though? You hated sitting here in the cold.” 

“I just got this.” Marley reached in her bag to get the envelope. “It was in the mall this morning.”

“Oh.” She took it with shaky hands, once she had caught the logo on the top right. “I thought California was too far.”

“It was but...they have an amazing music program, Quinn. I want to keep writing and producing music.” Marley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I need to do this, Quinn.”

“I know and you should move on, like you told me to. You should forget about this and whatever happened here.” She handed her the letter back. “You don’t need any anchor from your past to drag you down. You should let it all go.”

“I don’t want to let you go.” Marley reached for her hand when she gave her the letter. “We could start over, Quinn. Your grades are still high enough to get in and we can move there together and just…”

“It’d be a mistake.” Quinn cupped her face with her other palm. “We will never be able to move on from what happened, if we stay together.” She brushed her thumb over her cheek. 

“Is it because of the way I treated you, Quinn? I am so sorry for it...I know it’s not an excuse but it hurt so much and you were there. You’ve always been there even when I was at my worst.” She closed her eyes, when Quinn’s hands brushed her tears away. “I dreamt of her and she looked like you. She was so beautiful, Quinn.”

“I always thought she’d have your eyes.” She kissed her closed her eyelids and dropped her forehead against hers. “She is a beautiful angel.”

“Come with me, Quinn.” Marley’s hands gripped the sides of her neck. “Let’s start over…”

“I can’t.” Quinn sighed softly when she felt the familiar mouth brush over hers. “You need to go without me.” She felt her sobs against her parted lips. 

“Don’t you love me anymore?” Marley pushed her forehead against hers. 

“Marley, God…” Quinn tried to pull back but Marley simply pulled her in, kissing her softly. It was like one of those kisses they had shared for months. One of those that used to make her toes curl. It used to but it had been so long and there’s been so much between them, that she couldn’t let herself feel it anymore. 

“Quinn.” Marley licked her lips once they pulled back for air. 

“I love you. A part of me will always love you.” Quinn cupped her face and tilted it down to escape her tempting lips. “But you need to let me go.” She kissed her forehead softly, before standing up and walking away. She kept walking even if she felt Marley’s eyes on her, boring holes in her head. Even if a part of her was telling her she could follow her to Los Angeles and they could try to be happy this time. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Where are you?” She tugged her down by the back of her head. Her fingers traced the familiar necklace dangling around her neck, that was brushing between her breasts whenever Quinn rolled her hips into her.

“Here.” Quinn opened her eyes to stare down at her. “I am here.” She leaned down to drop a soft kiss on her lips.

“No, you’re not.” Rachel pulled her closer, stopping her from keeping on thrusting inside her. She just kept her between her thighs. 

“I am here, don’t you feel me?” She fisted the sheets a little harder and held her gaze. 

“There’s someone bugging you. We don’t have to do this if you’re not in the mood.” Her fingers brushed her furrowed brows. “We can talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I am in the mood to fuck, if you’re not into it...just say it, but don’t turn this on me.” Quinn pulled out of her and discarded the condom to the side. She just dropped on her back beside her, staring out of the window. 

“You can be such a jerk, when you want to.” Rachel sat up dragging the blankets with her. She didn’t bother to worry about leaving Quinn in a state of nakedness and just stormed into the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection through it when the bathroom door opened revealing Quinn, in all her naked glory. 

“I am sorry.” Quinn sighed softly and crossed the space to where she stood. “I am sorry, Rachel.” Tentatively, she dropped her head against her shoulder from behind, kissing her tattoo, and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her. 

“You were a jerk.” Rachel sighed when her hands laced with Quinn’s against her stomach. 

“I know.” Quinn kissed her there again. “You were right, my mind was somewhere else.”

“I could tell by the way you couldn’t meet my eyes.” Rachel looked at her through the mirror. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we came here.”

“My ex kissed me.” She sighed softly. Her arms tightened around her waist, not wanting her to leave yet. “We kissed two days ago.” 

“How did you feel?” Turning around in her arms, she loosened one end of the blanket to wrap it around Quinn’s back, drawing her in. 

“Lost.” She furrowed her brows. Her hands held onto the counter with a vice grip. “We’ve been through so much that I expected to feel like when we were together but…”

“Everything changed.” Rachel nodded softly and nuzzled her head against her shoulder. “It’s like you don’t even know them anymore, but they used to be your world.”

“She wanted me to go with her to Los Angeles.” Quinn rested her head against the wall behind her, dropping her arms around Rachel’s waist. “I can’t. We can’t start over.”

“Would you want to?” Rachel whispered against the base of her neck. “If you had a second chance, would you want to start over with her?”

“I don’t think so. There’s been too much and I can’f just forget about it.” She nuzzled the side of her face with hers. “I’ve moved on.” 

“You don’t have to say it because you think I expect you to.” Rachel tilted her head to the side to peck her lips. 

“Say what?” She cupped her face and brought her lips back on hers. 

“That it’s because of me.” She pushed herself on her bare tiptoes to keep her mouth close to Quinn’s. She kept on brushing her mouth slowly. 

“Partially yes.” She whispered. She brushed her bangs from her face slowly. “This is different.”

“It has an expiration date, Quinn.” Rachel leaned in her touch. “You’ll have to go to college and I’ll have to-“

“Go back to Finn? New York?” She caressed the side of her face with her knuckles. “I’ll have college but what about you? You can still have me.”

“No. I can’t.” She opened her eyes to look up into her eyes. She leaned in and crushed her mouth against the blonde, pulling her closer as she walked backwards towards their bed. They had an unfinished business, after all. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Congratulations are in order.” William Schuester was still standing with his Glee club, celebrating placing 1st and getting a pass to the Nationals, when a voice startled him. 

“Rachel Berry?” William squeezed his eyes a couple of times but the brunette was still standing there, in a designer black dress with matching shoes and purse. “Oh God, it’s been what? 5 years?”

“More or less.” She briefly hugged him. “You haven’t changed at all, still making Glee your first passion.” She nodded to the group of students behind him. She kept her eyes on them until she found Quinn’s with hers. Of course, she was going to be there. 

“You did, for the better of course. I didn’t know you were in town, we should catch up.” He smiled. “Is Finn here with you?” 

“Yes. We moved here a few months ago, for his mother.” She nodded and let her eyes linger back on the familiar blonde, who was chatting with another blonde guy and a Latina girl, clad in the same outfit. 

“What brings you here?” He pulled her attention from the blonde, who kept on sneaking glances her way. 

“Just checking the competition out.” She pulled her gaze from Quinn and cleared her throat. “It looks like we’re going to sing against each other in Chicago.” 

“You’re coaching Vocal Adrenaline?” He was surprised. 

“It’s temporary but we aim to win, of course.” She smirked. “Your duet was remarkable and quite bold. Two girls singing to each other? Kudos to you for making that choice, Will.”

“All my kids are very talented, but Marley and Quinn really have a great chemistry on stage.” He turned to the two girls that were chatting with their closest friends. “Let me introduce you.” He walked towards his students, leading Rachel there. “Guys, a moment please…” He let Rachel stand beside him before talking again. “This is a friend of mine from my past as a student at McKinley, maybe you saw her name in our Glee trophy room.” 

“Rachel Barbra Berry.” She introduced herself and stared at them all. “Your performance was great, really. I learnt a lot today.” 

“Learn?” The Latina girl raised her eyebrow in questioning. 

“You see, Miss Berry is the new Vocal Adrenaline’s coach. We will be competing against each other in a few months.” Mr. Schue nodded towards his students. 

“So you came here to spy on us?” She added again, looking at her fellow Glee club members, who nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t need to see you perform to beat you, but it’s still interesting to see what you guys are up to.” She looked between Quinn and the brunette who had dueted with her, who were staring back at her with the same interest. “Your voices aren’t too strong on your own, but together...well, you really are something else.” 

“Thanks, I guess.” The brunette nodded and looked over at Quinn, who kept quiet. 

“I hope to see more of that, when we meet again. It will be more satisfying to beat you.” Rachel smirked and then turned to Will. “Congratulations again, Will. See you all soon.” She sent one last lingering gaze to the blonde and then turned on her heels, walking away. 

“Who was that bitch?” Santana muttered under her breath. 

“A hot bitch, though.” Sam said back, under his breath, earning a slap upside the head from Quinn. “What? She’s hot.” 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“You only had to ask, you know?” Quinn entered the familiar hotel room and found Rachel lying across the bed, zapping through the channels. 

“Ask what?” She switched the tv off and sat up, crossing her legs indian style, revealing more of her smooth and bare thighs, though. The hotel robe did not do much to cover her state of nudity underneath. Not that Quinn minded after all. 

“About my Glee club. You knew I was going to be there.” Quinn leaned against the desk and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to keep her eyes on Rachel’s face not to get too distracted. 

“Do you think I came to see you? You’re quite confident huh?” Rachel stood and sauntered to where she stood, loosening the belt of her robe on the way. 

“You’re trying to distract me.” Quinn kept her eyes on her but it was hard to ignore everything below her chin. The closer Rachel got, more skin was revealed to her. The closer Rachel got, the harder she stirred under her jeans and compression boxers. 

“How?” Her fingers slipped along the sides of her open jacket to push it off her shoulders, with ease, leaving her in a tight sweatshirt and her jeans. 

“Rachel…” She was trying to keep herself in check, but how could she remain stoic when her nails were slowly scratching her nipples, through her sweatshirt. They were so hard that the contours could be seen - and found - through her clothes. 

“You’re wearing too many clothes, Quinn.” Bracing herself against her chest, she stood on her tiptoes to brush her lips along the sides of her face. “I have a problem, Quinn…”

“What kind of problem?” Quinn furrowed her brows. Her hands landed on her hips under the robe, stroking them slowly and with familiarity. She could draw every inch of her by memory and with her eyes closed. She had mapped every spot and curve. Every imperfection. 

“It’s an ache…” She nibbled on her earlobe. Her hands slid down her chest to land on the hem of her sweatshirt and slip underneath, to hold onto her narrow hips as well. “A throbbing.” She licked the skin behind her ear and nipped at it, hard. 

“Fuck.” Quinn groaned when her hands slipped behind her back and found her backside. She squeezed both cheeks in her palms and pulled the brunette into her arms, pressing her clothed body against her naked front. 

“That’s exactly what they recommended to cure it.” Rachel chuckled and kissed her ear. “A good fuck.” She smirked when Quinn’s hands slipped behind her thighs to lift her off the floor. “God.” She braced herself against her shoulders and let the blonde lead her back to the bed, lying her down on her back. 

“You can be such a tease.” She dropped her on her back and stood by the foot of the bed to discard her clothes as quickly as possible. Once she was down to her boxers, she crawled back on top of the brunette who just pulled her down for a hard kiss. 

“You love it.” Rachel nibbled on her lower lip and bit down on it. She earned a small wince from the blonde that simply allowed her to slip her tongue inside her mouth. Her thighs brushed against each hip, trying to push the remaining item of clothing separating them. 

“Who’s the confident one, now?” She pulled back enough to tug her boxers past her thighs and just kick them to the floor, with the rest of her clothes. 

“Liar.” Rachel pushed her on her back and rolled on top of her, straddling her waist and pinning her arms above their heads. 

“Tease.” Quinn smirked and leaned up to brush their lips together. She kept the kiss superficial. It was a barely there touch that still got their hips rolling together. It was all in the moment anticipating the kiss, rather than the kiss itself. 

“Hi.” Rachel loosened her grip to just lace their fingers together against the mattress. She looked down into Quinn’s eyes, whose smirk had turned into a soft smile. 

“Hi.” She nudged their foreheads together. “I didn’t get the chance to shower.” She nuzzled her nose against her cheek and then kissed it softly. 

“You smell pretty fine to me.” Rachel dropped her face against her shoulder and nuzzled the patch of skin where it met her neck. It’s where Quinn’s perfume was usually stronger. 

“Okay…” Quinn chuckled and nuzzled her temple softly. She dropped a kiss there and lowered their arms between them, curling hers around Rachel’s back. 

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” Rachel whispered against her neck. “The brunette you sang with.” 

“You saw that, huh?” Quinn nodded and nuzzled the side of her face with her nose. “That’s Marley, yeah.” 

“She’s pretty.” Rachel tilted her head to look up at her. “And she’s got the same pain in her eyes…” She cupped the side of her face with her palm, stroking the skin below her left eye. “But it’s different from yours.” 

“Different how?” She closed her eyes. She squeezed her hips softly and pulled her closer, even if there was no really any more room left between their naked bodies. 

“I don’t know, but it’s different.” She leaned forward to kiss her closed eyes. “It’s like you lost her but you lost so much more than that...like there’s so much emptiness in you.” She leaned down to brush her lips over Quinn’s trembling ones. 

“Like I lost myself?” She opened her eyes to find Rachel’s. She surged forward to kiss her a little harder and just roll them back over, entering her without any further preamble. She entered her and stayed inside her while their lips sought each other, for another hard kiss. 

“Quinn…” Rachel’s hands cupped her face to keep her mouth over hers and her eyes on hers. She needed to stare into those pained eyes as she filled her up, with all of herself. 

“I...we…” She looked over to the nightstand where they usually kept the condoms.

“Don’t...it’s okay.” Rachel pulled her face back to stare into her eyes. “Keep going, Quinn.” Her legs tangled with the blonde who just lied down against her and started moving inside her. She moved inside her with no tenderness. She pumped in and out trying to chase away the emptiness that she had felt for so long and that Rachel was slowly filling for her.


	3. Part 3

**thanks for the reviews, enjoy this new chapter**

**PART 3**

“Quinn?” Rachel dropped a soft kiss between her shoulders and stroked her exposed forearms, outstretched across the mattress.

“5 more minutes.” Quinn nuzzled her face into the pillow and kept her eyes closed, still tired from the long hours spent rolling around with Rachel. 

“There’s bacon.” She chuckled and kissed up her exposed neck, until she could brush her lips behind her right ear. “A double bacon cheeseburger with fries.” 

“Bacon?” Quinn opened one of her eyes and found Rachel’s smirking face just mere inches from hers. 

“I knew you’d wake up because of that.” She pecked her cheek and dropped on her side, pillowing her head on her forearm to stare at the other girl’s profile. “You’re cute.”

“I’m sleepy.” Quinn yawned against the pillow and buried her face back into it, when Rachel’s fingers trailed through her hair, relaxing her even further. “Stroking my hair won’t wake me up, you know?”

“I know.” Rachel scooted closer, nuzzling her nose against the side of her face and down to the angle of her smiling lip. “But you’re just so peaceful when you sleep.”

“You’ve been watching me sleep, Rachel?” Quinn lifted herself on her elbows and looked at the brunette, who had rolled on her back and scooted closer. 

“What if I have?” The brunette’s hand wrapped around her wrist, tracing the familiar letters with her thumb. 

“Nothing...nothing really.” She leaned down to drop a soft kiss against her lips. “What time is it?” She kept on brushing her mouth over Rachel’s, who shrugged and tugged her closer. 

“Dinner time or later than that. I didn’t bother checking.” Rachel settled fully on her back when the blonde slipped back on top of her, wrapped in the hotel sheets. 

“Your need for food woke you up?” With her arms cradling her face, she kept on moving her lips slowly against Rachel’s, who simply laid there with her hands caressing the upper skin of her back, that the blanket left exposed. “What did you get for yourself?” 

“A seitan burger with baby carrots.” She scratched along her shoulders, taking the blanket with her as she went southward. She pulled the blanket off Quinn, who just lifted enough to discard it back to the side and lie naked, against her clothed body. 

“No fries?” Quinn nudged her thighs open and lifted the plates of her skirt with her fingers, bunching them upwards enough to expose her underwear. 

“I can steal yours.” She looked down between their bodies. She could feel Quinn press urgently against the apex of her thighs. 

“What makes you think I will let you eat my fries?” Quinn looked up at her face with a smirk. Her hands were still working under her skirt to pull at the elastic of her underwear to drag past her knees and give her better access to where she needed it the most. Where they both needed it the most. 

“Because…” She tilted her head upwards to seize her lips with hers. She kissed Quinn harder when her hips rose to let her slip back inside of her. She let her slip back inside the way they had done it for hours and she could still feel the evidence of it, in her. 

“Because…” Quinn nipped at her bottom lip and pushed in and out. She thrusted slowly but deeply enough to make Rachel feel inches of her slip in and out. She thrusted hard enough to rub her pelvis against her upper lips and nub, earning a series of familiar moans from the brunette woman. 

“Fuck, Quinn…” She licked her bottom lip, when the blonde bit down on it a little harder than usual. She licked it to soothe her pain but just pulled her back in, pressing her mouth urgently against the blonde. She parted her lips to brush the tip of her tongue against her full lips and the front of her teeth. She kept licking her slowly when her walls tightened around the blonde’s length.

“You feel so good around me.” Quinn cupped the side of her face to lift it from the pillow and keep their mouths pressed together. “You feel like…”

“Like what?” Rachel rolled them over and sat astride her lap. Her hands lifted her sweater and shirt off her upper body, leaving herself in the skirt that was bunched around her hips. 

“Like coming up for fresh air.” Sitting up, her hands held onto her shoulders and her hips rose from the bed, to slam into Rachel from underneath. “I’ve felt like drowning for months and you…” 

“Quinn…” Rachel placed a finger on her lips and rested their foreheads together. She stared down into her beautiful eyes and just felt her. She felt her move inside her body. Inside her soul. 

“It doesn’t have to end.” Quinn kissed her finger. She held her wrist and gently lowered it between their chests, to hold her palm over her heart. 

“Quinn, please.” Rachel shook her head and shut her eyes. She kept her eyes closed while her fingers spread to feel the steady beating of Quinn’s heart. 

“I know you feel it too, Rach. I know you feel it when we’re together or we would’ve ended this time ago.” Quinn whispered against her forehead. She kept her lips there as she spoke. “This is not just an illicit affair behind your husband’s back.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Rachel sniffed and pushed her forehead against Quinn’s. She pushed against it while her body rolled forward to keep their grinding motion. She still needed to feel her as they had this heartfelt conversation. She still needed to feel her move within her. 

“The truth. Tell me the truth.” Quinn tilted her head to kiss her softly. “Whatever that may be, I’ll take it.” 

“Quinn, God.” She pushed her against the mattress and pinned her hands down, each side of her head. “I’m a mess, you don’t want to deal with that. You shouldn’t have to deal with it when you have a future ahead of herself. You can get out of here...you can have everything.” 

“I want you.” Quinn laced their fingers, squeezing her hand. “I want you now and I want you when I’ll be who knows where, doing who knows what. I don’t have a plan, Rachel, but there’s one thing I know for sure. I want you.” 

“You don’t know me.” Rachel’s head dropped against the crook of her neck, breathing her in. She let her eyes close when her strong arms held her around her back and her palm landed on the musical note tattooed on her shoulder. She kept stroking it slowly. 

“Then tell me who you are.” Quinn whispered in her ear. “Tell me what you dream of or what keeps you awake at night. Tell me everything that I need to know…”

“No.” She tried to pull from her arms but Quinn held her a little tighter. 

“I won’t run, Rachel.” Quinn brushed her lips against her cheek, tasting the saltiness of her tears. “You can tell me anything and I’ll be here.”

“You can’t promise that.” Rachel pushed against her chest to sit up. She used her hands to wipe her cheeks angrily. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of her, like a stupid little girl. 

“I can.” Quinn tilted her head back to rest their foreheads together. “I can promise that I’ll be here. I won’t go anywhere.” She leaned in to kiss her tentatively. She went at her pace and just kept her mouth close enough to let her know she was there and that she wasn’t going anywhere. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“You want to finish them?” Rachel held the box of fries in front of her, while she was still munching away on the ones in her mouth. 

“You’re sure I can eat my own fries?” Quinn took a couple and winked at the brunette who finished the rest and just threw the box into the bin beside the bed. 

“You ate my baby carrots.” Rachel licked her fingers clean and reclined back against the pillows, pulling the blanket around her still naked body. 

“‘Cause you ate my fries.” She balled the wrapper of her burger tightly and aimed for the bin, throwing it successfully in. “3 points.” She chuckled and looked over at her bedmate, who rolled her eyes at her. 

“You’re a dork.” Rachel switched her bedside lamp off and settled more on her side of the bed, hoping the fries would not give her nightmares. She ate them all, after all. 

“You don’t seem to mind when this dork makes you come, multiple times per night.” Quinn popped a couple of mints in her mouth and rolled on her side facing the brunette. 

“One track mind huh?” She looked over at the blonde, who shrugged and reached behind herself to shut the lights off, on her side. 

“Just saying.” The blonde tugged her by the pillow and draped an arm over her waist, caressing her side through the blanket they were sharing.

“You didn’t have to get those mints, you know?” She curled towards the blonde and pecked her lips, licking the sauce off her bottom lip. 

“I don’t want you to taste meat when we kiss.” She shifted closer, resting her head on the same pillow where Rachel was lying. “I can go brush my teeth.” 

“I don’t want you to go anywhere.” Rolling on her side, her hand brushed against her cheek and caressed it slowly. She traced it with her fingertips and then cupped it with her palm, holding her there while her nose grazed Quinn’s. 

“Okay, Rachel.” Quinn closed her eyes, sighing softly. Her arm circled her upper back to cup her shoulder with her hand, caressing the outline of her tattoo. 

“I lost my Daddy during my first year of college in NYC.” She whispered shakily. “It was out of the blue. One day he was there, the other he was gone. I was supposed to call him the night before but I was out with Finn and my friends from college and it was too late…” She took in a deep breath. “It was too late, Quinn.”

“How could have you known, Rachel? That’s impossible.” Quinn kissed her trembling lips. “No one could have.” 

“My Dad was devastated by his loss. Do you have any idea what it feels like waking up to find the love of your life dead beside you? To cry over his lifeless body and wonder if you could have done something to save them, if given time to? To wonder…” She shook her head, biting down on her lip to hold her tears back. “He was so lost after that and I didn’t have 5 minutes to spare to call him and say goodbye.” 

“I am sure your Daddy didn’t need those 5 minutes to know he was loved by you.” Quinn pulled her head to her neck and just held it there, while she sobbed against her shoulder. “He knew you loved him even from afar. Your father knew you hadn’t forgotten about him, even if you didn’t call that night.”

“I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.” She held her tightly. She cried against her warm skin and clawed at her back, gripping her tight enough to make the blonde wince. 

“I know…” She rolled them on her back and held her against her chest, feeling the tears soak the fabric of the blanket they were both wrapped in. “I know, Rach…” She kept stroking her back and hair, letting her cry in her arms. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Rachel…” Quinn stretched her arm out to find her bedmate but she met the pillow and the mattress. She was alone in the bed where they had fallen asleep together, after comforting the brunette the best she could. Raising her head, she looked around the room and found the brunette sitting in one of the armchairs, staring out of the window with a glass of water in her hands and an unreadable face. “Hey.” She stood carrying the blanket with her and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, knowing she had made her presence known and she wasn’t going to scare her. 

“Hey you.” Rachel sat the glass on the carpet at her feet and leaned her head back, to stare at the blonde upside down. “Did I wake you up? You can sleep some more…”

“It’s fine, really.” She braced herself against the arms of the armchair and leaned down to peck her lips softly. “The bed felt a little too big for my liking...I am used to you taking up the whole bed and hogging the covers.” 

“I certainly do not do that, Quinn Fabray.” She smiled against her lips and held onto the sides of her face to steal another kiss from her. 

“I believe you do, but as long as you sleep against me, it’s all fine in my books.” Quinn chuckled against her mouth and then pulled back, to stretch her back. 

“You’re alright there?” She turned around in the armchair to stare at her. 

“Yeah, an old Cheerio injury that still gives me trouble from time to time.” She bent forward and to the side until she heard a familiar pop. it was alright now. 

“You should have that checked out.” Standing from the chair, her hands rested on her lower back massaging it softly through the blanket. “Do you need me to give you a massage?” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. It usually leads to something else and if we start now, we’ll have to rush not to miss our checkout.” Quinn’s arms rested on her shoulders, drawing her in and back in her arms. “So, maybe another time.” 

“You have one track mind, Quinn.” Rachel pulled her closer by the hips and nuzzled her face into the side of her neck, kissing her pulse softly. 

“You should take a look at yourself and tell me how I should resist you.” The blonde smiled, stroking her hair slowly. “Do you want to come lie down with me?” 

“We need to set up an alarm, Quinn. We can’t be late again.” Rachel let herself be tugged back to the bed and climbed after Quinn, settling on her chest where she had fallen asleep the night before. 

“I already set it up.” She nodded to her phone. “I have set two alarms, we cannot really miss them, can we?” Quinn chuckled softly and kissed her forehead. “You’re okay?” 

“Yes, thank you for last night.” She nuzzled her shoulder and reached for her arm, to hold against her chest. 

“Don’t need to. I told you I want to know…” She kissed her temple. “I want to know everything about you, Rachel.” 

“Will you tell me about her?” Rachel kissed the inside of her wrist. “You don’t have to, of course…”

“I will. I will tell you about her and whatever happened to me.” Quinn tilted her head upwards to drop her forehead against hers. “It’s fair enough, if you open up to me.”

“Only if you want to.” Rachel nuzzled her nose with hers and kissed her softly. 

“I want you to know what you saved me from.” Quinn nodded softly and held onto her, closing her eyes when her fingers slipped through her hair. She will tell her everything. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

When she entered her house, she was surprised to find the lights on in the living room. Finn wasn’t supposed to be home for two more hours and his truck wasn’t in the driveway. She dropped her keys and coat by the door and walked further in the house, surprised to see her husband sitting on the couch with empty beer cans around him. 

“Finn, you’re home early.” Rachel held onto the doorway, surprised to see him there. What was he doing home? “Where’s the car?”

“Need to do some extra maintenance. It’s at the shop.” He finished his beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Puck dropped me off.” 

“I see.” She nodded softly. “I’ll shower quickly and start dinner. Preferences?” She turned to go upstairs.

“She is young.” He turned to her, seeing her at the bottom of the staircase. “She’s what 20?”

“18.” She didn’t have to tell him anything but she still did. She didn’t owe him anything. 

“God, she’s barely legal, Rachel. What the hell are you doing with her?” He pushed against the coffee table, sending the cans to the floor. “Who’s next? A statutory rape case over our shoulders?”

“That’s none of your business, Finn.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “If you want to know it all, I don’t plan to find anyone else.” 

“Oh that’s rich. You’re not going to find some other eye candy to keep you warm at night? Why’s that? You’re done spreading your legs behind my back? You want to become a doting and faithful wife?” 

“No, there won’t be anyone else after Quinn.” She looked away from him and buried her nose in the collar of the sweater she had borrowed from the blonde. 

“She must be good. Maybe I should take her for a ride.” He laughed and stood up. 

“Stay away from her.” She marched to him and grabbed onto the front of his shirt. She didn’t manage to move him at all, but she had made her intentions clear. 

“You’re jealous now? That’s cute.” He pushed her back by the hands. 

“I mean it, Finn. You better stay out of this.” She pointed a finger at him.

“Out of what? She’s fucking my wife behind my back and I shouldn’t say anything?” He yelled back. “I didn’t say anything about those guys. They were one night things but this...I can’t keep quiet.”

“So, you can pretend I didn’t sleep with those guys but you can’t ignore this? Why? Does it have to do with the fact she is a girl? You know I am bi.” She scoffed. 

“I could give less fucks about her being a girl. How long have you been doing this?” He ran a hand through his hair.

“6 months.” She looked at him.

“6 months, Rachel. You’ve been seeing her for 6 months. How long did it take you to realize you have feelings for her? How long until you started wanting a future with her?” He looked at her, almost desperately. “You’re my wife. You’re supposed to want that with me. You’re supposed to have fun with her and then come back to me. You’re supposed to come back to me.” 

“Finn…” She looked away from his pleading eyes. 

“We made promises to each other. We vowed in front of God and our friends and family. You promised, Rachel.” He dropped to his knees, holding onto her waist with both hands. “You promised.” His face was buried in her stomach. 

“This isn’t working anymore. We are just holding each other back from being happy.” She rubbed the back of his head. “We shouldn’t have rushed into it.”

“I still love you. I still think you’re the one for me…” He nuzzled against the fabric of her sweatshirt, taking notice of the different perfume. It was not Rachel’s sweater. “Take this off.”

“No.” She took a step back and hugged herself, keeping the sweater on. “It’s over, Finn. We came here because of your Mom, but once we are back home I want a divorce.”

“A divorce? Do you think I will let you walk out of my life to run away with that kid?” He stood up, towering her. 

“She is not a kid and you can’t keep me with you. You don’t own me, Finn. Grow up.” She went to walk away when he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the nearest wall, crushing their mouths together. “Finn!” She muttered against his lips, trying to get away. 

“You’re still my wife. You owe me something for all the guys you fucked behind my back.” His hand dropped under her sweatshirt. “You owe me for allowing you to fuck her.” 

“I don’t owe you anything. You’re fucking out of your mind.” She tried to push him back, but he was stronger. 

“I still love you. Doesn’t love make us all insane?” He nuzzled her neck slowly. “You smell like her. But I missed you so bad that I won’t care…”

“Finn, let me go.” She pushed against his chest. 

“I miss you, baby. Remember our first time? We were so happy.” He reached under her skirt to find her underwear but he had no time to tug it off. He dropped to his knees, where Rachel had kneed him hard in the groin. “Fucking bitch. Motherfucker, this hurts.”

“Stay away from me, Finn. We are fucking done.” She stormed out of the house to get the furthest away from there. 

When did it all go wrong? 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**“** Hello, how may I help you?” A blonde haired man in his 40s stood in the doorway, with warm eyes and a welcoming smile.

“Good evening, sir. My name is Rachel Berry and I am looking for Quinn. Is Quinn Fabray here?” Rachel rubbed her hands up and down her arms. She hadn’t grabbed her jacket in the haste of leaving the place she used to call home. 

“Yes, come in. It’s freezing outside.” He held the door open and let the shaking brunette in, before closing the door behind her. “She is in the living room, go join her while I make you a hot cup of tea. You look like you need it.”

“Sir, it’s fine. I don’t want to bother you.” She looked towards the living room where she could hear Quinn’s laughter. 

“You are no bother and please don’t call me Sir, it makes me feel older than I am. Call me Dwight, Rachel.” He smiled encouragingly at the brunette and headed towards the kitchen. 

Rachel looked at him and wondered how long it might take her to just run out of the door, without being seen. She took a step back, when someone stood in front of her and tugged her by the skirt. 

“Who are you?” A little blonde girl held onto the edges of her skirt, holding on a stuffed teddy with the other.

“Stacey! It’s your turn…” Quinn chased after the small blonde but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was standing there. “Rachel…”

“I shouldn’t be here.” She wiped her cheeks angrily and turned around to leave, but she couldn’t manage to take any step further because Quinn’s arms were around her and she was already burying her face into her shoulder. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Quinn kissed her temple and held her tightly, rubbing her back slowly. 

“Quinn, why is the pretty lady crying?” Stacey tugged at her sweatpants, catching her attention. 

“She…” She had no idea really. “I don’t know, hon. Why don’t you join Sam and Stevie in the living room? I will be there soon.” 

“Will the pretty lady come play with us? She can have my turn.” She looked up at the brunette, who was still crying against Quinn’s shoulder. 

“I am sure she’ll like it very much.” She patted her head and nodded towards the living room. “Rach…” Quinn’s arms circled her back and tugged her closer, sighing when the brunette burrowed more into her. “Rach what happened? Are you hurt?”

“No.” She shook her head and sniffed softly. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

“Don’t. You’re fine, really.” She nuzzled her cheek and pecked it softly. “Did something happen to your Dad? Finn?”

“Finn…” She lifted her head from her shoulder and Quinn used her handkerchief to wipe her cheeks and dab at her eyes. “He knows about us.”

“What did he say? What did he do?” She cupped her face and stroked her cheeks slowly. “Did he touch you? I am going to-“

“Please, no.” Rachel’s hands held onto her wrists. “I don’t want him to hurt you. I can take it.” She rested their foreheads together. “I deserve that.”

“No one deserves something like that. He did it before?” She sighed, pressing a soft kiss against her forehead. 

“Yeah.” She nodded softly. “A couple of times.” She looked away from the blonde and closed her eyes. “He always apologizes after it and it’s been a while since the last time.”

“What a bastard.” Quinn pulled her back against her and held her head down against her shoulder. “You’re not going back there.” 

“Where am I supposed to go, Quinn?” She sniffed softly. 

“I can ask Dwight-“

“No. I am not going to stay here. I can stay with my Dad...it’s fine.” She nuzzled her sweater and closed her eyes, feeling the safety of embrace calm her down. 

“I’ll go with you to get your stuff. I’ll ask Sam to come along.” She kissed the back of her head. “Do you want to freshen up? You can borrow something from my closet.” 

“I don’t want to impose any further, Quinn.” She lifted her head off her shoulder. “I can book a hotel room for the night.”

“You can take my bed and I will sleep on the couch, it’s comfier than it looks.” She leaned in to kiss her softly. “I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re wandering around for the night. I will ask Sam’s folks but there shouldn’t be any issue ok?”

“But Quinn…” She sighed when the blonde shook her head and pecked her again. 

“I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll show you where everything is and then I will introduce you, okay?” Quinn took her by the hand and tugged her upstairs where her bedroom was, meeting Dwight’s approving eyes with hers as they passed by the kitchen. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Dude, that’s the woman you’ve been sleeping with?” Sam pulled her aside as soon as Rachel had freshened up and had joined them for dinner, per Quinn’s request.

“Yeah, it’s her.” Quinn looked over at the brunette who was sitting on the floor, checking Stacie’s coloring book. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

“You’re into her. It’s not just…” He nodded knowingly. “You have feelings for her?”

“I am screwed, Sam.” Quinn sighed softly. The more she stared at Rachel, the harder she fell. “Why is it so damn complicated?”

“From the way she stares at you, I’d say she is into you as well. What’s the matter?” He had caught the brunette staring back at her from time to time. 

“She is married.” She looked at Sam. “She is married to a bastard who laid hands on her and knows about us.”

“Geez, that’s why she is here. They argued over it?” Sam nodded softly. 

“She can’t stay there, will you come with me to get her things? I can handle myself but you know…” 

“Don’t have to ask, Q.” He squeezed her shoulder softly. “Trust you to always fall for the pretty brunette ones, huh?” 

“Tell me about it.” She chuckled and walked over to where Rachel sat, dropping to her knees beside her. “Stacey go wash your hands, dinner is ready.” 

“Will you tell me a story, later?” She looked between the two girls.

“Yes. I will.” Rachel nodded softly, beaming when the blonde kid jumped to her feet and bolted out of the room. “She is a cutie.” 

“You can’t resist that smile.” Quinn chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get something to eat.” She stood back up and helped the brunette to her feet. 

“I can still go, you know.” Rachel followed her into the kitchen area where a big table wa set for 7. 

“I don’t want you to, Sam’s parents are fine with that. We can get your stuff first thing tomorrow, Sam will come with us.” She pulled a chair out for Rachel to sit and sat beside her, across from Sam and Stevie. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Evans, thanks again for having me.” Rachel looked at the two adults in the room, who shared a smile across the table.

“Any friend of Quinn is welcome. Or girlfriend.” Mary chuckled, making Quinn choke on her water. “Quinn, honey, little sips.”

“Yes, Quinn. Little sips.” Sam mocked her across the table, earning a kick in the shin. “Ouch.”

“Stop it you two. We have a guest.” Dwight helped Stacey in her chair beside Quinn and reached over the table to grab a slice of bread. “Stacey!”

“But Daddy…” She sat back down with a pout.

“We have a guest. Rachel please go ahead.” Dwight handed her the chicken plate.

“Hon, Rachel is vegan. I got this for you. Sorry, Quinn didn’t tell me until the very last moment.” Mary handed her a plate of mixed vegetables, stir fried with soy sauce and tofu. “Hope it’s alright.” 

“It’s more than alright, Mrs. Evans.” She scooped some in her plate, under everyone’s curious glare. “You want some?” She looked at Quinn who shook her head vigorously. “Veggies are good for you.”

“Yeah, Quinn. Veggies are good.” Sam chuckled and took the chicken for himself.

“So are for you, Samuel.” Quinn gave him a stink eye, when Rachel filled her plate with some stir fry. 

“Stop being kids.” Dwight gave them a warning look, making his younger kids giggle. “You two as well.” 

“It’s refreshing to have another adult sitting with us.” Mary poured some wine in Rachel’s glass. “You are older than 21, right?”

“Yes Mrs. Evans.” She smiled softly. 

“Please, call me Mary.” She smiled. 

“Thank you, Mary.” She took a sip and looked over at the blonde beside her, who was still exchanging kicks with Sam under the table. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

Waking up, it took her a moment to realize she was not in the place she had called home for months. She was not lying in the guest room, two doors down from the man she called husband and that used to be the love of her young life. Young. Maybe she had been so blinded by their immature love to realize they were not going to last. They were not supposed to even make it out of Lima together. 

She reached for her phone on the nightstand and found so many missed calls and texts from Finn. More than those she had received in the past years together. He was still drunk and switching between anger and sorrow for what he had done to her. Almost done. 

She rubbed her arms up and down, through the Cheerios hoodie she had borrowed from Quinn’s side of the closet. Everything smelled like Quinn and it was comforting. It made her feel safe and at peace with herself, but she still missed something. 

She got out of bed, slipping her feet into the slippers that Mary had lent her and just walked out of the room. She padded slowly across the hallway, hoping the hardwood floors didn’t give her away until she reached the top of the staircase. 

Sighing softly, she peered down to make sure no one else was around to catch her in the act of sneaking out to go find the blonde girl, who had let her sleep in her bed like a gentlewoman. 

“Quinn?” Rachel leaned against the archway of the living room, surprised to see the small lamp on and the blonde perched up with a book in her lap.

“Rachel...is something wrong?” She sat up abruptly, sending the book to the floor. 

“Come upstairs.” She nodded towards the bedroom. “Your back is going to give you trouble.” 

“It’s not a good idea, Rach.” She reached for the book on the floor and placed it on the edge of the coffee table. 

“I don't want to do anything, just sleep with you there.” She rubbed her arms up and down softly. “Please?”

“Come here.” She held her hand out and the brunette didn’t let her repeat herself. She crossed the steps left between them and let Quinn pull her down, stretching between her legs, curled against her chest. “You’re comfy?”

“Yes.” Rachel tucked her head against her shoulder, nuzzling the collar of her t-shirt. “You?”

“I’m fine.” She shifted enough to lie fully on her back and pulled the blanket over them, reaching above their heads to shut the lamp off. 

“We could’ve gone upstairs.” Her hand sneaked under the hem of her shirt to caress the skin above her heart. 

“This is less tempting.” Quinn smiled and tilted her head down to kiss her forehead. “Nightmares?” 

“I’m restless. I keep waking up and worry about him being there.” Her fingers traced the cross slowly and gripped it, when Quinn’s arms tightened around her. 

“You’re safe.” Quinn held onto her back, tracing along her spine with her forefinger. She caressed it gently and kept her lips against her forehead, breathing slowly. “You should leave him.” 

“It’s not easy, Quinn.” She shook her head and dropped her hand to caress the side of her ribcage. She could count each rib under her fingers. “He was drunk and upset over this. I am hurting him.” 

“And he is hurting you back. Isn’t he doing the same thing behind your back? Why is he so upset over this?” Quinn nuzzled her hairline slowly. 

“Because this is not just sex.” Rachel tilted her head back to brush her lips over Quinn’s. “Because we had a mutual agreement and I didn’t keep my promise.” 

“By sleeping with a girl?” She brushed the back of her hand across the cheek. 

“By developing feelings for you.” She held onto her wrist and looked up into her eyes. It was not too dark to miss the way Quinn’s eyes filled with surprise. “It’s so wrong but it feels so right.” She leaned up to kiss her softly. She kissed her again, slipping her hand behind her neck to keep their lips close enough to feel each other’s breath.

“Leave him. Be with me.” Quinn brushed her nose along Rachel’s. She nudged it upwards and pecked her again, curling around her. 

“Quinn…” Rachel shook her head. She brushed her fingers behind her ear. She brushed her hair back to caress the side of her face as they kissed in the dark. “I wish I could.”

“Then do it. You’re not happy with him.” Rolling on their sides, her arms held her smaller body against hers. Both arms circled the brunette who just held her by the front of her shirt and stroked her face with the other. 

“Maybe I am not supposed to be happy.” She tucked her head under her chin. She laid her ear there, against the upper part of her chest to feel her heartbeat slow down. 

“We should all try to be happy. We owe ourselves that much. To try.” Quinn looked out of the ample window in the living room, staring at the moon’s reflection. “Let’s try…” She whispered mostly to herself, realizing that the brunette had fallen asleep against her chest. “Let me try, Rachel.” She kissed the crown of her head and rested her head there, following her into a dreamless sleep. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She didn’t expect to find him home when she entered the house. She had hoped to pack her things without worrying about him being there, looming over her and trying to get her to forgive him, again.

“I thought you’d be at the tire shop.” Rachel lingered in the doorway. 

“You never returned my calls. I was worried.” He stood on wobbly feet, running a hand through his messy hair. He was dealing with a heavy hungover. “It’s not safe out there.”

“It’s not safe here either.” She shook her head. 

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to do it again.” He took a tentative step closer. “I was drunk and you know what happens when I drink too much. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Yet you did. You promised me, Finn. We did all that counseling and support groups for you to get better, but you took it all back.” She backed away, keeping the door open enough to have a safe escape plan. 

“And you promised to love me and to be with me, through everything!” He shouted, slamming a fist against the wall. 

“You’re doing it again. Will you ever change, Finn?” She shook her head. “I need a break, Finn. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You need a break from me or from feeling guilty over fucking a kid? She’s a fucking kid.” He stared at her. 

“She is not a kid.” She would’ve found it funny given different circumstances. She was defending her from the same accusations she had made. “She will be off to college next year and she showed more maturity than you ever did, at her age.”

“I married you! How is that immature of me? I married you when I thought you were carrying our child! I gave up on my future so you could go to that stupid school. I pulled long hours just so you could sing and dance on a damn stage.” He took another step closer. “I did everything for you and I was just a kid, Rachel.”

“I never asked you to. You knew my dreams and you chose to come with me, so don’t try and blame me for the choices you made.” She looked up at him. 

“For the mistakes I made, you mean.” He shook his head, slouching his shoulders. “It was all a huge mistake. I should’ve never followed you to New York.”

“I shouldn’t have asked you to.” Rachel looked away from him, staring at the simple wedding band on her finger. 

“So what happens now?” He sniffed softly. 

“I can’t be here with you. I am packing my things.” Rachel wrapped her arms around herself. “I found a place where to stay.”

“You’re moving in with her, already? She must be a fucking dynamo between the sheets.” He snarled. 

“Keep her out of this, Finn. We’ve been drifting apart for years but we were so used to it, that we stayed together.” She slipped the ring off. “It’s been over for a while.”

“So, that’s it? You’re leaving me for her?” He chuckled sadly. “She is off to college and what will you do? Will you follow her like I did? You’ll work two jobs to let her follow her dreams? Will you become me?” He took another step closer. “What’s going to happen when you’ll be too tired to pay attention to her? To do more than kissing because you’re exhausted? You’ll turn your head away when she starts sleeping around?”

“Stop it.” Rachel furrowed her brows, clenching the ring harder. 

“She’ll come home smelling like someone else’s and she won’t lie to you. She will tell you how much you pushed her in someone else’s arms.” He cupped her cheek, tilting her head back. “And you won’t ask her to stop because she is young and has a future and what do you have? What will you have, Rachel?”

“Stop it.” She pushed him back, backing up against the open doorway. “It won’t happen with her.”

“What makes you so sure of it? Is she different? You think she’s the one? I thought you were the one for me and look where we are now.” He laughed bitterly. “She is going to break your heart and you’ll regret this moment. You’ll regret leaving me.” 

“Leave, Finn. Just leave.” She looked away from him, holding her palm out where she had placed her ring. “Take this with you.”

“Keep it. You’ll wear it again, soon.” He grabbed his jacket and leaned down to drop a kiss against her cheek. He did it even when she flinched as he neared her. “Have fun while it lasts, baby.” He smirked knowing he had left a mark with his words. He smirked as he passed the familiar blonde with an unknown guy by her side, approximately her age. “Of fucking course, you’re here.”

“You got a problem with that, asshole?” Quinn tried to get in his face but Sam held her back.

“Gotta give it to her. She knows how to pick them.” He smirked. “It’s gonna be even better when she’ll break your cold and small heart, bitch.”

“Walk away, dude.” Sam held Quinn back with both arms around her waist. He pulled her from punching his smirk off. 

“See you soon, kid.” He winked at her and walked away before Quinn could be let go. 

“Let’s go check on Rachel. She might need a hand with packing her stuff.” Sam loosened his grip once he had disappeared from their sight.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“I sent Sam home, I can help you with the last suitcase.” Quinn dropped the bag down on her old bedroom’s floor and looked around. 

“There’s not much unpacking left. It’s just clothes that I brought from New York. They’re coming back with me.” Rachel walked up to her and pushed her back against the closed door. “Hey.” Leaning up on her bare toes, she pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “Thanks for the help.” 

“Don’t mention it. Anything to get you out of there.” Quinn’s arm circled her back. She leaned back against the door and used her other hand to brush her hair back. “You’re okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“It’s fine. I am just processing this, I guess.” She looked away from her. It was partially true. She didn’t want to tell her that Finn’s words were echoing in her mind. That they were still sinking in. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Quinn nodded and nuzzled her hair slowly. 

“Not really. Not now.” Rachel turned her head to nuzzle her nose along her jawline.

“Do you want to order some take-out and watch a movie? I don’t have to go home. It’s Spring Break.” She felt her body sag against her front, putting more weight against the door. 

“It’d be our vacation time then. We should be in that hotel room, lost in our perfect world, away from everything else in a hotel room.” She brushed her lips along her chin. “Fucking each other’s brains out.” 

“We don’t have to book a hotel room to do that.” Quinn’s hand trailed along her back to cup her backside. She squeezed it softly when soft pecks turned to nips along her neck. “Not anymore, at least.”

“Won’t you miss it? Our bubble?” Rachel licked along her pulse. Her hands slipped under the hem of her shirt to scratch along her abs, earning a moan from the blonde. 

“You’re here with me. There’s nothing to miss.” She squeezed it again and held her ass with both hands, rolling their hips slowly together. 

“Smooth talker.” She pushed against her chest and slipped from her hold, just to walk backwards towards her old bed, dropping her panties on her way. 

“Tease.” She had caught the panties dropping down her thighs and then being kicked off to the other side of the room. She had felt the effect it had had on her. 

“You like me.” She beckoned her closer once on her back, with her thighs open enough to give her a glimpse of her glistening center. 

“Oh, I fucking like you.” She had her pants and boxers past her thighs by the time she was leaning over the brunette, finding her hole with ease after a couple of strokes against her core to get wet. 

“And you like fucking me.” She cupped the back of her neck and brought her mouth over hers, as she started the familiar rhythm inside of her. Despite being half clothed from their waists up, she could still feel every inch of Quinn moving inside her and it was so damn good. 

“That too.” Bracing against the bed, her hips canted back and forth to slide herself into the brunette, with nothing in between. 

“Same here.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. She nibbled on it slowly and guided her hips against her, slowing her down enough to enjoy every second of it. She needed to feel everything within those thrusts. 

“Better?” Quinn cradled her head with her forearms and looked down between their bodies. She could barely see what was happening under Rachel’s skirt, but she could feel it. 

“Yeah.” Rachel nodded. Tilting her head back, she looked up into her hazel eyes. She stared into them while her legs locked behind Quinn’s thighs, trapping her inside her. 

“What’s on your mind?” She nuzzled her nose against the brunette’s. She could feel her with her, but not fully. It was something that had been bugging her since they went to retrieve her things. 

“Nothing. I’m here with you.” Rachel shook her head and kissed her softly. “I am with you, Quinn.” 

“You’re not going to sing Avril Lavigne to me, right?” She tried to lighten the mood and avoid staying on the subject. It was obvious but she didn’t want to cause a fight. 

“Idiot.” Rachel chuckled softly and pulled her down for a harder kiss. “Stop messing around and get back to fucking me, Miss Fabray.”

“Your wish is my command, Miss Berry.” She whispered lowly, feeling her walls contract around her length. “You like it huh?”

“Say it again.” She moaned when Quinn started upping her pace. She was slamming in and out of her harder than before. She could feel her tip press against her soft spot. 

“Miss Berry.” Quinn smirked when her pussy did it again. She looked down at the brunette, enjoying the sight of her head thrown back against the mattress and the nails scratching along her back. 

“God…” Rachel breathed out slowly. She shouldn’t feel so excited but she was. She was so turned on that it wasn’t going to take her much to come. 

“Do you want to pretend I am your student and we’re having a sordid affair behind closed doors? Your vocal coaching lessons turned into us fucking on the piano.” She pounded away into her, dragging her body along the mattress with each thrust. 

“Keep talking.” She could totally see that. She could totally see herself bent over the piano in the choir room, skirt flipped up with Quinn taking her from behind. 

“I have one hand on the piano and the other between your legs, rubbing you while you beg me to do you faster.” She did as she was describing. She pumped away into the brunette beneath her. 

“Fuck yes.” Her hand dropped between her own legs to rub her ignored clit. She circled it with her fingers the way Quinn usually did. The way her tongue played with her nub. 

“You’re tightening so hard I can barely pull out.” Her forehead dropped on the mattress. She panted softly in her ear, grinding into her core. 

“I am so close.” Rachel kissed her ear. “Make me cum, Quinn.”

“I am close too.” Quinn nodded and reached for her other hand. She held it against the mattress, while her body fell against hers. She lied down between her legs and just rolled her hips into her, fucking her into the bed under them. 

“Quinn. Quinn. Quinn!” She chanted louder and louder. She kept on chanting as her walls fluttered around the blonde inside her. She felt her clit throb and her juices ooze out, dripping down her thighs. 

“Rachelll.” Quinn followed after her. She followed her and they tumbled off the edge together. She followed her and pumped her load inside her, mixing with the juices already coating her inner thighs and length. 

“You’re so warm.” She nuzzled her rosey cheek, sighing softly. 

“So are you.” She dropped more against the brunette, who was tracing the tattoo at the base of her sweaty back. She was so damn sweaty under her clothes. She went to move off her, when the brunette’s legs tightened around her waist. 

“Five more minutes.” Rachel’s hands down her back to grab onto her asscheeks and hold her in place, inside of her. 

“As long as you need.” Quinn nudged her head to the side to connect their lips together. Sighing, she let the brunette kiss her slowly, while they were still intimately intertwined. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“You’ve given college a thought?” Perching herself on her elbow, she used her other hand to caress along Quinn’s side to her hip and back. 

“Yeah. I actually got my admission letters a few weeks ago.” Quinn yawned softly. She was always so relaxed after their sexual encounters. She could just sleep for days. 

**“** You did?” She rested her chin on her chest and looked up at her. Her fingers traced the bridge of her nose and then her lower lip, tugging at it with her thumb. 

“Yale and Columbia.” Quinn opened her eyes to stare at her. 

“East coast.” Rachel raised enough to brush a tender kiss on her lips, bracing herself against her chest. “What about UCLA or something farther?” 

“Marley is going to Los Angeles, but I don’t want to go there. New York and Connecticut are good.” She stretched her forearm for Rachel to lie on, so they could still be close enough. “Two Ivy Leagues.”

“Indeed.” Rachel’s knuckles brushed along her cheek. “What major are you going for?”

“Creative Writing and English.” Quinn shifted closer and curled her arm around the back of Rachel’s head. Her fingertips brushed along the top of her hair, threading through her locks. 

“Sounds appropriate.” Rachel snuggled more into her and kissed her chin. “We could be in the same city, next year.”

“We could be together.” Quinn whispered against her forehead. “Go out like any other couple or have date nights in. Sleep over to wake up together, without fearing to be late for a checkout or to be seen.”

“Yeah.” Rachel’s fingers wrapped around her cross. She started playing with it while her mind went there. She indulged the thought of dating Quinn. Of dating her while she worked and had bills to pay. Of dating her while she was living her college life and she was the grown up. 

“What’s not working well with you?” Quinn covered her hand over her cross. 

“It’s nothing. I like it.” Rachel tilted her head to look at her young lover. “I like the idea of being with you without having to hide.” 

“I know. You know my feelings for you won’t change right? I’ll feel the same even in the next months or years to come.” Quinn nudged her head with hers. “I want you.”

“I want you too.” She nodded and leaned in to kiss her softly. 

“Good.” Quinn smiled against her lips. “You’re stuck with me, Miss Berry.”

“You better stop calling me like that or I won’t be held accountable for my next actions.” She bit playfully on her lip. 

“Oh really, now?” Quinn smirked and surged forward to kiss her a bit harder. “What actions?” 

“Oh you want to see?” Rachel ran her fingers through her messy blonde hair and pushed her head back against the pillow. “You want a demonstration?”

“What if I do?” Quinn pulled her astride her lap and held her by the ass, keeping their groins rubbing slowly together.

“You totally asked for it, Quinn.” She pinned her down against the mattress and crushed her mouth over Quinn’s, while sinking back on her member in one swift move. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Something is burning.” She pulled away from her mouth when the smell became stronger. 

“Shit.” Rachel pulled from her and ran back to the stove, taking the pan off with her bare hands. “Damn it.” She hissed in pain when she burnt herself. 

“Let me check.” Quinn took her hand and lifted her palm to her lips, blowing some air on it. “We should put some ice on it.”

“Last shelf. I think.” She watched the blonde open the cabinets and get a bag of frozen peas. “That might work as well.”

“You might end up burning a glass of water.” She laughed and pressed the bag against her hand. She held her wrist in check when the brunette tried to move away. “Stop it.”

“It’s cold.” Rachel pouted and looked at the blonde who shook her head and kissed her forehead. 

“It’s for the best.” Quinn kept it there and looked over at the burnt mess in the sink. “We can eat the peas.” 

“Funny, Quinn. Funny girl.” She headbutted her shoulder and nuzzled her t-shirt slowly. “What time do you have to go home?”

“I don’t have a curfew. When is your Dad coming home? I don’t like the idea of you being on your own.” She pulled the bag away and dropped it on the counter. “Finn might still swing by and…”

“I’ll be fine, really. But I appreciate you worrying for me.” She pecked her lips softly. “Nationals are in a few weeks, you’re ready?”

“Ah. I won’t tell you a thing about our performance! I can’t give you that advantage.” Quinn zipped her lips and turned away.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I was just asking…” Her hand sneaked under the hem of her shirt to caress her back slowly. “But if you want to give me a hint, I can help you with some vocal coaching.” 

“Not gonna work, Rach. My lips are sealed.” She whimpered when her lips trailed along the side of her neck, retracing the marks left behind.

“Are they, now?” Rachel bit down on her pulse. 

“Rachel.” Quinn said in a warning tone but the brunette had her pinned against the counter. 

“Quinn.” She lifted herself on her tiptoes to press her mouth against Quinn’s. She kissed her slowly and held onto her neck, until familiar arms circled her waist to keep her there. 

“This is unfair.” She muttered against her lips. “You know I can’t resist you.” She felt the familiar warmth fill the pit of her stomach, stirring her lower regions. 

“You shouldn’t resist me.” She smirked and pecked her lips wetly. She licked and sucked on her bottom lip, pushing their lower bodies closer. 

“You don’t play fair at all.” Quinn’s hands lowered to her hips, pulling her closer for another kiss when someone else cleared their throat, stopping them. 

“Dad!” Rachel pulled from Quinn and fixed the wrinkles in her t-shirt. “When did you get back?”

“Just now. Imagine my surprise to find my only daughter smooching someone who is not her husband.” With his arms crossed over his chest, she looked between them. “What’s going on, Rachel? Where’s Finn?” He turned to Quinn. “Who are you?”

“Dad, it’s a long story.” She looked over at Quinn, who had straightened her pose and stood tall, not giving up under his hard stare. 

“Quinn Fabray, pleased to meet you, Sir.” She held her hand out and squeezed his, giving back a squeeze equally hard. 

“Where’s Finn, Rachel?” He looked back to his daughter, who was definitely avoiding her gaze. “You should go home, Miss Fabray.”

“Do you need me to stay?” Quinn reached for Rachel’s hand and laced their fingers together. “I can go wait outside or in my car.” 

“Rachel is with her father, she surely doesn’t need any kind of protection from some girl.” He scoffed. 

“With all due respect, Sir, I’d like to hear what Rachel has to say.” She looked at the brunette, who shook her head softly.

“You can go home, Quinn.” She squeezed her fingers softly. “I’ll call you later okay?”

“Okay.” Quinn leaned down to kiss the top of her head softly. “I will see myself out.” She nodded to the tall man standing in front of her and moved past him, heading for the door. Grabbing her things, she slipped her shoes back on and just left the house, knowing Rachel had many things to tell him. 

“Rachel, your father and I raised you to be a better person than this. Where is Finn and what’s going on with that girl?” He looked at his daughter with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“You raised me to follow my heart and that’s what I am doing.” She furrowed her brows. “Finn and I are getting a divorce, Dad. I want a divorce?”

“A what? Because of that girl? Are you out of your mind? She is a kid and you’re an adult.” He chuckled. “Cut it short and get your marriage together.”

“Not because of that girl. It’s not about her. It’s about me, Dad. It’s about the fact that I don’t love my husband anymore and that I can barely stand living with him under the same roof. It’s about the fact we cheat on each other and it’s not even an issue.” She was on the verge of crying. “It’s about the fact I am scared to be near Finn, knowing what he could do…” She looked down. “What he has done.”

“What?” He choked on his words. “What are you talking about?”

“It happened a couple of times. He was drunk.” She wiped her cheeks. “It was a slap. Just a slap.”

“He hit you?” Leroy dropped on the chair at the kitchen table. “When did this happen? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We had just moved back to New York after Daddy passed away.” She rubbed her temples. “It was the first time but I couldn’t tell you. You were hurting so much already and you didn’t need me to come cry back in your arms. I should have never married Finn.”

“It’s been years, Rachel. Why did you stay?” He looked up at his daughter.

“He promised me. He apologized and promised me he wouldn’t do it again and I believed him. I was still somehow the girl who had fallen in love with him and we tried. We tried so bad, Dad.” She sniffed again. “Counseling and support groups. It was fine.”

“Until he did it again.” He whispered brokenly. He had seen so many women filling his OR with black eyes and broken arms and hearts. Too many to believe men were really going to change, after the first time. 

“It went from bad to worse. We were strangers living in the same house. Roommates but then his Mom got sick.” She sighed. “Lima is as suffocating as my marriage.”

“What’s the deal with you and that girl? Is it for fun?” Leroy nodded softly. 

“It used to.” Rachel looked down at the sweatshirt that she had borrowed from the blonde. “I don’t know anymore…”

“You have feelings for her? Does she feel the same?” Leroy stood up. “Does she love you?”

“She didn’t say it but it’s not…” She looked at him. “She is not like Finn, Dad. It’s not like when we dated back then.” 

“Be careful, Rachel. You wear your heart on your sleeve honey…” He pulled her into his arms. “I am so sorry.” He kissed the top of her head. 

“Me too, Dad. I wanted what you and Daddy had.” She buried her head in his chest, hugging him tightly. “I wanted that kind of love.” 

“You’ll find it, hun. I am sure you will.” He kissed her head again. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Hey.” Quinn opened the front door to find a familiar brunette on her doorstep. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Tucking her hair back behind her ear, she looked up at the blonde who was still in her pj. 

“Come in.” Quinn smiled and moved aside to let her in. “Do you want something to drink or eat? I was about to make some quick lunch.” 

“You’re alone?” She looked around the silent house. 

“Yes, Sam and Dwight are out fishing and Mary is with the kids.” She nodded softly. 

“Let’s go out for lunch, my treat.” She stepped into the blonde’s personal space and grabbed onto the front of her t-shirt to tug her down for a soft kiss. 

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Quinn smirked against her lips and braced her hands against the front door, holding herself up. 

“I am asking you out for lunch.” Rachel patted the swell of her hips. “Don’t be a smartass and put something appropriate to go out.”

“What’s wrong with my pj?” Quinn chuckled, looking down at herself.

“It’s a pj. That’s what is wrong with it.” She pushed against her chest. “Go get changed before I change my mind.” 

“Fine. So demanding.” She went to pull away when Rachel slipped her hand behind her neck and pulled her down for a hard kiss. “What was that for?”

“Just because...pack a change of clothes, I booked the usual room for the weekend.” She licked her lips, catching Quinn’s smirk. 

“So a date and two nights with you? Is it Xmas already?” She took a step back and looked down at the tent in the front of her pants.

“Hurry up, before I choose to go there without you” Rachel shook her head when Quinn’s smirk dropped and she simply ran upstairs. She was still a kid at heart. 

Twenty minutes later, she was parking in front of an unfamiliar parking lot that seemed to be immersed in nature and away from everything else.

“This is not the usual hotel.” Quinn got out of the car and walked to the trunk, to retrieve their bags.

“I know. I wanted to surprise you.” Rachel reached for her bag, but Quinn had them in both hands. “Let’s check in.” Slipping her arm through Quinn’s, she locked the car and walked inside the elegant lobby and to the front desk. “Hi. I’ve got a room for two under Berry.”

“Of course ma’am. Can I have your IDs?” A slender guy said from behind the counter. Once given the IDs, he typed away into the system and gave their IDs back to them. “Room 307.” He handed them both a key. “The elevators are on your right, breakfast is from 7 to 10 and the bar is open until 2 AM.”

“Perfect, thanks.” Rachel nodded and looked at Quinn, who was still looking around the luxurious complex. “Shall we?” 

“Of course.” Lifting their bags she followed the brunette in the elevator and stood quietly, as they were taken up to their room.

“This way.” She turned right and then left until they reached the end of the hallway and, swiping the card in, she opened it to reveal a spacious suite.

“Whoa.” Quinn dropped the bags by the door and walked further in the room, amazed by the view they had on the woods surrounding the hotel. 

“You like?” Rachel watched her in amusement. 

“Why did you bring me here?” Quinn turned to stare at the brunette who was sitting on the edge of the king size bed. 

“Between Nationals and graduation, you’ll be busy for the rest of the year. I wanted to spend some time with you, before that and after all that drama with my husband.” She leaned back against her elbows. 

“It’s been six months.” Quinn stood in front of her and reached down to cup her face. 

“You remember?” Rachel looked up at her in surprise. It was meant to be a one night stand and here they were. 

“I could never forget the moment I first saw you.” Leaning down she brushed her lips against Rachel’s. “I wanted you before I even knew I would have had a chance with you.”

“You totally came to my rescue, of course you had a chance.” She kissed her softly and tugged her down with her, leaning back against the middle of the bed.

“There’s a jacuzzi outside.” Quinn held herself over Rachel on her hands. “I didn’t bring my swimsuit.”

“You don’t need one.” Flipping them over, her hand slipped between their bodies to palm her through the jeans she wore. “We can order in and try it out?”

“Oh yes.” She pulled her down for a hard kiss and rolled them back over, pinning her against the mattress between the giggles and the kisses. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Can I have another one?” Quinn pulled from her work of art on her neck and stretched her arms to the side, resting them on the outer side of the jacuzzi. 

“Another of what.” Rachel opened her eyes to stare down at her. She was sitting astride her lap, rubbing down against her shaft that nudged against her without doing anything more than teasing her. 

“Another strawberry, Miss Berry.” Quinn smirked and looked up at the clear sky. It wasn’t too warm but the pool water was hot and the bedroom was just mere feet behind them. They could easily go back in, when it became too cold. 

“I told you not to call me like that, didn’t I?” She reached in the cup beside them and took a full strawberry and dipped it in dark chocolate. 

“Last time I did, you didn’t seem to mind at all.” She caught the end of the dripping strawberry before the chocolate dripped down Rachel’s chest. To think of, maybe she should have eaten it off Rachel’s skin. 

“I didn’t and that’s why you shouldn’t use it.” She finished the other half and leaned down to lick the chocolate off her lower lip. 

“Miss Naughty Berry.” Quinn smirked and sat up, circling her back under water. 

“Idiot.” Rachel’s hands rested on her shoulders, settling fully in her lap. 

“You wonder if they can see us from there?” She nodded to one of the rooms on the side of the hotel. There was a high wall and bannister, but maybe…

“You’d want to put up a show?” Rachel looked over her shoulder. 

“That’d be hot, no?” Quinn leaned down to lick the droplet of water trickling down her collarbone. “They can see us from the waist up, but it’s pretty obvious what we’d be doing down here.”

“Oh really now?” She leaned her head back and tilted her head to the side, so she could kiss along the side of her neck.

“Really.” Nodding slowly, she lifted her enough to fill her up, again. “Fucking tight.” Quinn sank her teeth under her pulse, making Rachel roll her hips forward into hers. 

“Quinn, fuck…” She held onto the jacuzzi to roll her hips back and forth, moving along with the blonde she was sitting on top of.

“I fucking hope they see us.” She looked over the brunette’s shoulder and glanced towards the windows. She stared while her hands slipped under the surface to grab her from the backside. 

“Kiss me.” Rachel pulled her head back. She rested their foreheads together and bounced on top of her, slowly taking each thrust. 

Quinn nodded softly. She leaned in to move her lips against Rachel’s. She brushed their lips slowly together while her hands urged her hips down, to work herself in and out of her. 

“My…” Grinding down, she held onto the sides of the pool even tighter. Her knuckles had turned white and her hands red. She was gripping it so tightly. “My clit…”

“Turn around for me.” Pecking her lips reassuringly, she ceased any movement to let the brunette sit in her lap, with her back to her. “Trust me on this.” Once she was settled with her back to her front, she used her knees to part her thighs and slip back in, resuming the thrusts. 

“I don’t see-“ her words caught in her throat when a new pressure was done against her nub and upper lips. She felt it push against her but wasn’t Quinn’s hand.”

“You like huh? It looks like the jet was built to rub against your nub.” She had directed it to press between Rachel’s legs while she moved inside of her from behind. 

“God yes.” She circled her head with one arm and the other brought her other forearm under her breasts, lacing their fingers against her side. 

“You are tightening whenever it hits you.” She whispered hotly in her ear. “I can barely thrust in.”

“I am close already.” She sobbed when her nimble fingers brushed along the darker area around her nipple. Short nails scratched her sensitive area.

“Come for me.” Quinn covered her lips against hers at a different angle. She kept kissing her softly when she felt her walls flutter around her length. When her hand dropped between her thighs to massage the throbbing nub with her fore and middle finger. 

“Quinn…” Rachel pulled from her mouth to let out a lower moan. She was still coming around Quinn and it felt like her body was caught in a never ending orgasm. 

“Fuck.” Quinn pinched her clit when her own tip bursted in the brunette, pumping her load deep within her. 

“Mmm.” Rachel sighed at the feeling of her additional warmth inside her core. She had been taking Quinn for so long, yet she couldn’t get used to the immense pleasure when she came inside of her. 

“We need to get out of here before we turn into prunes.” Quinn sighed against the side of her neck. 

“Hot prunes though.” Rachel pecked her lips and brushed their noses together. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“We got married for all the wrong reasons.” She laid on her stomach, hands under her chin to rest on Quinn’s chest and eyes lost in the darkness of the room. “I was late and he didn’t want our child to be raised without a dad, like he was.”

“You had a baby with him?” Quinn’s fingers trailed along her spine to dip under the hem of the blanket, covering them both. 

“It was a false alarm. We ran to the courthouse and I thought it’d end up happening some day, why not sooner? It ruined us.” She looked up into her hazel eyes. “Tell me about her.” 

“About whom?” Quinn cupped her face and brushed her thumb over her cheek. 

“About Lucy or Beth or anything.” She held her hand with hers and placed a kiss on the insides of her wrist. “Which story hurts the least?”

“No one does.” She sighed softly. “It was our first time. It wasn’t planned like some grand romantic gesture but it was romantic and tender.” She recalled it like it had been yesterday. It was the first night she had all to herself without her parents around and Marley could stay over. 

“You never did it with anyone else before her?” She kept her lips against her wrist. 

“Marley was my first and I was hers. I had many girls after her but no one meant anything until you came around.” She brought her other hand up to stroke her slightly damp hair. “We wore protections but...I guess we didn’t realize it broke while we were doing it. What are the chances?”

“3%.” Rachel kissed her sternum. “It’s low but it can still happen.”

“Fucking luck.” Quinn sighed softly. “It took her time to realize that but when she did, I couldn’t leave her to deal with it alone. It was my responsibility to be there for her as she went through it.”

“Didn’t you think of other options? You were both so young. You still are.” Rachel had thought about her options back then. She had thought about what it was going to happen to her, if she had kept it or not. 

“I was born and raised to be against it and so did she. I would have never pushed her to make a choice against her beliefs. It was her body and choice to make.” 

“You know that anyone else would’ve run from it? If we hadn’t been on our way to college, I don’t think he would’ve wanted a child around your age.” She traced the four letters with her mouth. “It was very courageous of you, remarkable really.”

“I did what I felt right. I loved her and I would have done anything to be there for her.” She looked away. She did everything she could and it did cost her everything else. “My family never accepted me for who I was, let alone when I had gotten another girl pregnant.”

“Did they kick you out? That’s why you’re living with Sam’s parents.” She nodded and scaled up her body to rest her head beside hers, on the same pillow. “Have you ever seen them after that?”

“Only to get emancipated and access my trust fund.” Quinn turned her head to stare back at her. “My grandmother set it up for me when I was 4 years old. She had big plans for me, shame they will not be attended.”

“They can still happen. You can go to college and live the life you need and deserve.” Her knuckles brushed along the side of her jawline. “You can be whoever you want to be.” 

“I want to be the person by your side.” Quinn held her hand against her cheek. “The one waking up beside you and going to sleep with you.” She held it there when Rachel tensed in her arms. “I want to be the one you come home to.”

“Quinn, that’s not what I meant.” She shook her head softly. “You have an amazing life ahead of you.”

“It will be even more amazing if I have you to share it with.” Leaning forward she brushed her lips over Rachel’s. “Why can’t you trust me on this?”

“‘Cause you don’t know better. You don’t know what living like an adult feels like, with bills to pay and jobs and everything else.” She pulled from her arms and sat up, holding the blanket to her chest. “You don’t know what it feels like coming home to someone who’s become a stranger to you.”

“That’s what you are worried about? That we’d turn into you and Finn?” Quinn raised herself on her elbows. “That we’ll resent each other? Drift apart?”

“You don’t know what is going to happen. I was there and I saw it all fall apart.” She sniffed softly.

“You cannot do this to yourself, Rachel. You cannot be afraid it will happen again. It will keep you from letting yourself go with me or whomever else you may cross paths with.” She sat up and wrapped herself around her, from behind. “It will keep you from being happy again.”

“I know.” She turned her head enough to nuzzle her face into the crook of her neck. 

“I lost my first love and I never got to see my daughter alive.” She tightened her grip around her. “I know what it feels like losing something so big that you feel like nothing else will ever fill that emptiness for you.”

“You do.” Rachel nuzzled her nose along her jawline. “You fill that void.” 

“It’s how I feel about you.” Quinn tilted her chin upwards to kiss her tenderly. “One step at a time. I don’t want to rush into anything we might not be ready for.”

“One step at a time.” Nodding she reclined against the blonde, who cradled her against her chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always welcome...please do not hesitate leaving your review


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all your comments, there's one more chapter left. enjoy!

**PART 4**

“Will, fancy seeing you here.” Rachel was sitting in the lobby of the hotel room in downtown Chicago, near the venue where Nationals were hosted. 

“Rachel, hey. So it seems we are all booking rooms in here.” Will nodded to the group of students piling up after him. “What floor are you guys on?”

“Tenth.” Rachel looked behind his shoulder to catch Quinn’s gaze with hers. 

“Cool, we are on the twentieth.” He showed her his hotel key. “We are at a safe distance not to spy on each other, huh?”

“Oh yeah. Safe enough.” She nodded. “I booked the Green conference room for one last meeting with my club, hope you won’t mind that.”

“Why should I?” He furrowed his brows. “The hotel has two conference rooms.”

“Well, the other is booked for the Paper convention, apparently.” She pointed to the cardboard by the aforementioned room. “If we end up wrapping it up earlier, I will give you a call.” With that said she turned on her heels to walk towards the bar, not without one last glance to the blonde girl.

“The more I see her, the harder I would want to punch her face.” Santana muttered under her breath, staring at Quinn and Sam. “Whatcha looking at?” 

“Nothing. Let’s go find our room.” Quinn shook her head and headed for the elevators, with Sam. “What room are you in?”

“2007.” Sam checked his card. “I am with Jake.”

“Oh cool, we’re room 2009.” She nodded to Santana who was bunking with her. “Who’s with Britt?” 

“I am.” A familiar voice was heard from between them and Quinn didn’t take much to realize it was her ex.

“Damn it, Q. We could’ve switched if you two…” Santana trailed off but Brittany kissed her cheek to stop her. 

“I will leave you two alone, Lopez. I will find a place where to go while you two go at it.” Quinn leaned against the wall beside their door. 

“I am sure you will. Maybe 10 floors down.” Sam coughed under his breath. 

“Sam.” Quinn shook her head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marley raised an eyebrow, staring at the two blondes. 

“No fucking way.” Santana eyed them and squinted her eyes at her best friend when she looked away with a guilt face. “Quinn...you’re seriously doing that?”

“Drop it, San.” She walked inside the room, pulling her suitcase with her. She didn’t notice the whole group following her inside. “Don’t you have your own room?”

“She is fucking old, Quinn and she’s competition. How could you do that?” Santana stood in front of her, with hands on her hips. “Are you out of your mind? Isn’t she married or something?”

“What is going on? What is she talking about, Quinn?” Marley looked at her ex.

“You should stay out of this, Marley. It’s no one’s business but mine.” Quinn glared towards to the Latina, who was pacing back and forth in the room. “It’s my private life, ok?”

“It’s not when you’re sleeping with the enemy. You should tell Mr. Schue. We’re going to lose because you followed your dick…” She shouted at the blonde. “We need to win this, Quinn. We fucking need it!”

“And we will. Do you think I’d be so stupid to spill everything to her, just because we go out? Who do you think I am?” She grabbed her cigarette pack and moved past the Latina, who was still yelling at her. 

“Tu eres loca!” Santana shouted hard enough to make herself be heard even when Quinn was in the hallways. 

“Quinn…” Marley chased after her, stopping her from getting into the elevators. “Who is she?”

“Sorry, but it’s none of your business.” She tried to sidestep her ex but she was pushed back and pinned against the opposite wall. 

“It’s that woman, isn’t it? The Vocal Adrenaline Coach.” She tightened her grip around the front of her shirt. “Answer me.”

“What if it was? We’re no longer together. You broke up with me, didn’t you?” She looked into her eyes. “You don’t get to judge my choices.”

“When I kissed you weeks ago, you turned me down for her? You’re dating a married woman?” She shook her head. 

“It’s complicated.” Quinn looked away. 

“You can’t even look me in the eyes when you talk about her. Are you lying to me or to yourself?” She tilted her head back with her other hand. “What’s going on with her?”

“None of your business.” She said through gritted teeth. 

“Did you tell her about our setlist? About our duet?” She held her chin. “God, does she know about Beth?”

“Of course she does. Pretty hard to miss, don’t you think?” She grabbed her wrist where she had the same familiar mark. 

“And how do you know she won’t use it to her advantage? She is playing you to win.” She pulled her wrist back. “God, you’re so gullible and all of it for a fuck?”

“It’s not just a fuck.” She pushed her back enough to free herself. “It’s not sex to me.” 

“And to her? Will she stick around when you’re off to college and won’t be able to provide your services? She has a husband, Quinn. You’re a homewrecker too?” She talked to her back. 

“Too? Besides what else? A loser? A freak?” She turned to stare at her ex. “What am I?”

“You’ll get heartbroken, Quinn. She is going to break your freaking heart.” She stepped closer and cupped her face with both hands.

“Like you did?” She tried to pull her hands back. “You broke my fucking heart. You broke me, Marley.” 

“Quinn…” She loosened her grip around her neck.

“You broke me in ways that I couldn’t think possible, so I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what you did.” She took a step back and slipped into the opening elevator, not wanting to stay there any further. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She was sitting by the bar, nursing a Manhattan and scrolling through her phone, when she caught him two stools away from her. It had been so long since the last time they had seen each other and he had not changed at all.

He was still the same confident man that had charmed her enough to get her to fall in bed with him, after a whole evening spent talking about Broadway and her broken dreams. 

“I wasn’t sure it was really you, but those eyes are hard to forget.” He had caught her staring and just made his way towards her, with a drink in each hand. 

“My eyes are up here.” She took the drink and pointed to her face, rather than her cleavage. 

“My apologies, those eyes are quite remarkable as well.” He popped his jacket open and sat beside her, angling himself to stare at her. 

“What are you doing here, Jesse?” She smirked and took a long sip from her fresh drink.

“Helping a couple friends out, with the Nationals. Congrats for making it, in your first year as a coach.” He toasted his glass against hers. 

“Oh hush, you were here last year.” She pushed against his forearm. “You’re not going to make it easy for me, are you?”

“I know you like when they give it to you hard.” He winked at her, making her blush and slap his arm. “Ouch.”

“Stop it.” She looked away from his smirking face and her eyes fell on her vibrating phone. She read the text from Quinn. 

“I don’t recall you ever saying it, that night.” He said, noticing the way her eyes had lit up at the sight of the incoming text. “You and Finn worked things out?”

“Not really, no.” She sighed and turned towards the curly haired man. “I still don’t see a ring on that finger.”

“I was too late and she got away.” He smiled sadly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “We should buy that bottle of Gin and move this somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere like my suite.”

“I can’t, Jesse.” She held his hand over her cheek. “It was fun, but it was a one night thing.” 

“I am not asking you to run away with me, Rachel. Just one night like the good old times.” He stroked her cheek slowly. “We were good together.”

“Yes, we were.” She nodded and took his hand in hers. “But it cannot happen again.” 

“There’s someone else.” He nodded to her phone. “Is it serious?”

“I believe so.” She nodded softly. She caught the bartender’s attention and held her room key out, to get the drinks on her room tab.

“They must be pretty special.” He nodded and helped her back on her feet, leading her out of the bar area. 

“She is.” Rachel held onto his arm as they walked into the lobby towards the elevators. 

“She? Well, that’s totally unexpected.” He chuckled and draped a loose arm around her waist. “You’re such a surprise, Berry.” 

“Oh hush. I never said I was straight.” She got in with him and pushed their floors’. “I don’t like labeling something as flexible as sexuality.” 

“Flexible? Curious choice of words. It’s how I recall you from that night.” He smirked and pulled from her, in time to avoid another slap. “See you tomorrow, Berry.”

“Night, Jesse.” She shook her head, laughing when the doors slid closed and she continued her journey to her room. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

When she turned the corner to reach her room at the end of the hallway, she was surprised to see a familiar blonde sitting on the floor, with her back against the wall opposite to her door. It was risky to be seen outside her room, but she had given strict orders to her students and she was hopeful they were too afraid of her to do the opposite of what she said. 

“Quinn…” She dropped to her knees to kiss the top of her head. She had fallen asleep with her head against her bent knees. “Let’s get you on your feet.” She pulled her up with her, despite the mild protests and half dragged her to her room. 

Once inside, she dropped her shoes by the door and walked the blonde further in the room, until she sat her down on the edge of the mattress. 

“Who was that guy?” Quinn stopped her from getting her shoes off and looked down at her, now fully awake. 

“A friend.” Rachel stood back up and wrapped her arms around herself. 

“A friend who fucked you, right?” She said it so slowly and apparently calm, that Rachel shivered and not in a good way. 

“It was years ago, Jesse is a friend.” She looked down at the blonde, who had her eyes casted downwards. “Quinn, it’s not what it looked like.”

“You want him?” She said it like a whisper. “He is not a kid, after all.” 

“You’re not a kid.” She cupped her face and stared at her. “And I don’t want him.”

“If we weren’t doing this, you’d be in his room?” She stood up, standing in front of the brunette. “Like the good old times?” 

“It doesn’t matter, I am not there. I am here with you.” She sighed and reached for her hands, but the blonde pulled back from her. 

“Would you have told me about him, if I hadn’t seen you with him? Or would you have pretended your ex isn’t in this hotel, hoping you’d knock on his door?” She moved past her and walked to the window, staring out of it. 

“There was nothing to say. He doesn’t matter.” She padded to where she stood, until a couple of feet were left between them. 

“My friends know about us and so does my ex.” Quinn held her hand against the window. “I got in a fight with them for you and I came to tell you and you’re with that guy, flirting and…”

“And what? Nothing happened.” She turned her around, with her back against the window. 

“Not because you turned him down.” She shook her head. “Or if you did, it doesn’t look like he got the message cause he kept ogling you and touching you.”

“Were you spying on me? Next time, why don’t you pull him off me yourself? It seems it’s the only way for you to trust me, huh?” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Maybe next time I’ll just do that. Should I follow you like a puppy everywhere you go to be sure you’re not flirting with every guy offering you a fucking drink?” She snapped at her.

“It’s how I pick them. A drink to make me spread my legs for them.” She looked at her. “It worked for you too, didn’t it?” She regretted it the moment she said it, but it was too late. 

“Yeah, it did.” She shook her head and moved past the brunette to get out of there. 

“Quinn, wait.” Rachel reached for her hand but the blonde pulled back and turned around, holding her hand up, away from her. It was just a natural reaction for her to take a step back and cover her face. She did it before she really thought about it. 

“You think I am going to hit you?” Quinn lowered her hand slowly. “God…”

“I am sorry. It’s just…” She looked away, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“I know.” Quinn took a tentative step closer. She took another one and reached up with a hand, to cup the side of her face and brush her thumb over her cheek. “I would never do that, no matter how bad we fight. I will never do that, I promise you.”

“I am sorry. I know you’re not him.” Rachel leaned in her palm, sniffing softly.

“It takes time to trust someone else, I know.” Quinn closed the remaining steps between them and pulled her against her front, tucking her head in her shoulder.

“I trust you.” Rachel sniffed against the fabric of her sweater. “I am sorry.”

“I am sorry too.” Quinn rested her chin against the top of her head. “I got jealous when I saw him all over you.”

“I can tell.” She circled her waist with her arms, locking her hands under the hem of her sweater, over the tattoo at the bottom of her spine. 

“He could be better for you…” She stroked along her sides slowly. 

“Than Finn? Yes. Than you? No, not at all.” Rachel tilted her head back to peck her lips. “Your friends think I am using you to win a stupid choir competition?”

“Yeah.” Quinn nodded and brushed her lips over Rachel’s. “My ex thinks I am a homewrecker.”

“They know I am married, but they don’t know anything else.” Standing on her toes, her lips moved against Quinn’s as they spoke. “They don’t know anything about us.”

“I know.” Quinn’s hands slid down her sides to grab onto the back of her thighs and lift her off the floor, with her legs wrapped around her waist. 

“Can you stay a little more?” She tangled her fingers into her hair and pulled it off the elastic band that held it in a high pony. 

“Yes. I will set up an alarm to sneak out in the early morning.” Nodding, she laid down in the middle of the bed and slipped on top of the brunette, who tightened her grip with her thighs. 

“Good.” She pulled her down for a soft kiss and leaned over their heads to shut the lights off. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

They had won. They had brought the trophy home and as expected, they had all thrown a party to celebrate the unexpected win. They had won despite they were not as trained as Vocal Adrenaline or as original like the Warblers. They won despite all the differences and internal conflicts caused by her choices to date someone who was supposed to be the enemy. Someone who was married and older than her. 

“Here, live up a little.” Santana stumbled towards her with two plastic cups that smelled like cheap alcohol. It was probably the cheapest they could find in such a short notice. 

“It smells awful, Santana.” She closed her nose and sipped from it. It probably tasted even worse. It was burning her throat, as if she had swallowed gasoline or something inflammable. 

“You’re a pussy.” She finished her cup and pulled her in a side hug. “We won, Quinn!” She yelled in her ear and if it hadn’t been for the loud music, it would have hurt her ears. 

“We won, Lopez.” Quinn smiled and held her up. She was tipsy. Two hours since the party started and Santana was already half drunk, hanging off her while Brittany gave everyone a show of her dancing skills.

“You’re mad at me, are you?” She pulled her into her arms and buried her head into her shoulder. “Because of what happened in Chicago.” 

“No, San. I am not mad at you.” She rubbed her back softly and hugged her a little tighter. 

“I just wanted to win so badly. It was my ticket to get out of here and get my second chance for NYADA. I just wanted to win, Quinn.” She sniffed into her neck. “You’re my best friend.”

“And we won and you’ll go to New York.” Quinn pulled her from the dance floor, giving herself enough privacy to deal with a drunk and saddened Latina. “We might be in New York, together.” 

“New York? You’re coming to New York?” It didn’t take her much to switch from sadness to happiness. It didn’t take her much to pull her in a bone crushing hug, that left Quinn breathless. “New York, Quinn!”

“I know, San.” Quinn shook her head and smiled. “Looks like Britt needs someone to dance with.” She nodded towards the tall blonde who was looking for her girlfriend, obviously. “I’ll go get you another drink.” 

“You owe me a dance, Fabray.” She pecked her cheek wetly and ran back into the living room, to join the taller blonde in a dance that was pretty steamy for a public environment, but they didn’t seem to give a fuck about it. She turned around to head to the bar and get Santana another horrendous drink when she spotted Marley leaning against the counter, nursing a cup herself and staring off into space. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Marley would have recognized her voice anywhere. She downed her drink and stumbled forward, clearly affected by her drink. 

“Whoa there, you're alright?” She caught her before she hurt herself against the counter. 

“Now, yes.” Her arms circled her waist and her head rested sideways against her shoulder, heavily leaning against her ex-girlfriend. “You smell good.”

“Not really.” Quinn held her up and reached for the nearby sink, pouring some water in a glass for her to drink to fend her drunk state off. “Here.”

“No. I don’t want water.” She pushed her hand away and nuzzled into the side of her neck. “I want to lie down. Everything is spinning.” 

“We can get into Mike’s guest room upstairs or I can take you home.” She directed the brunette towards the staircase. It wasn’t probably the best idea to be alone in a room with her, but she didn’t want anything to happen to her. Anyone could’ve taken advantage of it.

“Carry me.” Marley fought to get her feet moving.

“This is the last time, though.” She lifted her bridal style with ease and walked up the stairs that led to the bedroom zone. With the brunette nuzzling into her neck, it wasn’t easy to stay focused but she managed to get into one of the guest rooms and lie her down, on her side. “Let me get you the trash can.” She reached under the desk for it and sat it by the side of the bed, closer to where Marley was. 

“Where are you going?” She tugged on her hand, stopping her from leaving the room. “You’re going back to her?”

“Marley…” Quinn sighed softly. 

“Hold me.” Marley sniffed against the pillow. “Can you hold me one last time?” She brought her wrist to her lips and kissed the familiar name softly. 

“I don’t think we should do this.” She looked down at the brunette curled on her side. 

“One last time. This is the end for us and I just want one last moment before it will be over for good.” Marley looked up at her with pleading eyes and Quinn had no heart to say no. Nodding softly, she crawled behind the brunette and lifted herself enough to lie on the pillow above their heads, circling her waist from behind in a familiar way. 

“I got into Yale and Columbia. I got them months ago, but I hadn’t had the chance to tell you.” Her fingers brushed along the front of her shirt, stroking her flat tummy slowly. 

“I had no doubt about you getting out of here.” Marley slipped her fingers through Quinn and pushed them under the hem of her shirt, holding their palms against her stomach. How many nights they had spent curled around each other, feeling the life they had made together grow inside of her. 

“I haven’t made up my mind about it. Yale is Yale.” She whispered against the back of her head.

“But she is in New York, isn’t she?” She rubbed her cheek against the bedspread, pulling Quinn more into her. 

“It’s not because of her.” Quinn sighed softly.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t it be about the woman you want by your side? There’s nothing wrong with wanting New York because she is there too. It shouldn’t be only because of her, you got what I mean?” 

“Yes, I think so.” Quinn nodded softly. 

“You should tell her, if she doesn’t know yet.” Turning around in her arms, she looked up into the blonde’s eyes. “You should tell her about New York.”

“I was going to head over there after this.” Her fingers now brushed along the side of her face. “You’re my first love Marley.”

“I know, you’re mine.” She said with a watery smile. She had sobered up enough to remember this, when she’d wake up, in the morning. “You should go and be with her.”

“I can drop you home.” Quinn looked at her.

“I’ll get a cab. Go and be with her, before I change my mind and find a way to keep you here with me.” She leaned in to kiss her softly, one last time. “You deserve to be happy, Lucy.”

“You too, Marley.” Quinn pulled back to kiss her forehead and then slipped out of bed. She looked at her one last time and then walked out of the room, without looking back. 

If only she had, she would have seen Marley drop her mask of confidence and just fall to pieces, crying over her lost love. 

It was really over. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

Sitting on her porch, leaning against the wooden pillar with her head in her hands, had felt like ages. She had driven to Rachel’s place in hope to find her and talk to her, but nobody was home. 

She was on her second cigarette when a car pulled up in the driveway and a familiar brunette exited it, with a distressed look on her face. Their eyes met knowingly and Quinn was quick on her feet to meet her halfway, when a tall guy stumbled out of her backseat, leaning heavily into her. 

“What is he doing here?” Quinn stood on the porch, with a hard glare.

“Not now, Quinn.” Rachel struggled to push the door to her childhood home open. She leaned Finn against the doorway and opened it with a little too much force due to the frustration of the situation. 

“Let me help you.” She took the guy from her and helped him inside. She steered them towards the living room and dropped him on his face down on it, without too much care. 

“Mmm.” He adjusted enough to roll on his stomach and bury his face into the plush cushions. 

“What are you doing here?” Rachel leaned against the front door with a tired face. 

“What is he doing here?” Quinn rubbed at her face. She should’ve gotten drunk when she had the chance to. 

“You drank?” She had smelled it when she had taken Finn from her. “You’re underage, Quinn.”

“Did that before, are you going to really give me a lecture on alcohol consumption when he smells like he showered with beer?” She pointed to the guy. “Why is he here?”

“He had a rough day and his best friend called me.” She sighed softly. “He can’t be on his own.”

“If he stays, so do I.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I can take care of myself just fine without needing a bodyguard, Quinn.” She looked at the blonde. “I did that for years before I met you.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” She sighed softly. “I know you can.”

“Good.” Nodding softly, she looked away. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to tell you something.” She looked over at the man who grunted on the couch. “Maybe we can go out on the porch?”

“Sure.” Rachel slipped back out of the front door, followed by the younger blonde. She leaned against the wooden bannister. “What’s going on?”

“You’re mad at me?” Quinn stood in front of her. 

“No, of course not.” She sighed softly and reached for her, tugging her closer by the front of her t-shirt. “Sorry.” Leaning up she pecked her lips softly. “Hi.”

“Hi back.” Her fingers framed her face, caressing her cheeks slowly. “You look tired.”

“I am. This is exhausting.” She rested her forehead against her chest. “I don’t think you should drink and drive either.”

“It was one cup and your house is not that far from where I was.” She kissed her forehead lingeringly. 

“What was the party for? Graduation?” She nuzzled into her chest, holding on her sides under the hem of her shirt. 

“And winning Nationals. One last party before we all go off to college…” She ran her fingers through her hair slowly. 

“Was she there?” She caressed the sides of her ribcage and pressed more into her chest, headbutting her gently. 

“Yes, of course she was.” She tilted her head back to drop her own forehead against Rachel’s. “It’s over between us.”

“I know but she will always be there.” She looked down at her chest, nodding toward her heart. 

“Maybe but not the way she used to mean to me.” She pulled her chin back up. “Not the way you do.”

“Yeah.” She pecked her softly and stood up, slipping from her arms. 

“You don’t get it, do you?” Quinn stared at her back.

“What?” She looked at her over her shoulder.

“What you really mean to me.” She said softly. It was almost a whisper, but Rachel had heard it like she had shouted it from the top of a mountain. She knew the implications of those words, but it was still hard to believe them. “I am going to Columbia.”

“What?” Rachel turned so fast she almost gave herself a whiplash.

“It’s 50/50 and I choose Columbia.” Quinn stared back at her. 

“You need to think this through. You’re giving up on Yale for an equally good school, but it’s Yale. ” She shook her head. “You must think about it.”

“Why? I want Columbia and I want New York.” She furrowed her brows. 

“Give me a reason why you should want it more than New York. A reason that has nothing to do with me being there.” She looked at her almost pleading with her eyes. “Your education is worth more than-“

“Than us? Than my feelings for you?” Quinn shook her head. “I can get a proper education there or in New York or even here at OSU, but there’s no one else who makes me feel the way you do. Rachel, I-“

“Don’t.” Rachel pressed her palm over her lips. “Don’t say it. You have no idea of what you’re talking about.”

“Why? Because I am a fucking kid?” She pulled back from her. “I know what I feel, even if now I wonder if this was just a fucking joke to you. Do you even care?” 

“Of course I care and that’s why I don’t want you to throw away your future for me.” She shouted back at Quinn. “You’re throwing it away for something that might not even work out in the end.”

“Do you even want this, Rachel? Do you even want me?” She looked at her. “Do you want to leave him, at all?”

“Quinn-“ She started when the door swung open and Finn appeared in the doorway, with tears down his face. 

“My mom is dead.” Finn muttered softly before dropping on his knees. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She had left soon after Rachel had taken Finn to see his mother and she hadn’t heard anything from her since then. No calls. No texts. She had sent a couple the morning after, but she hadn’t received any reply from the brunette. Was she ignoring her? She had checked in their usual hotel room and waited. She had sat down on the edge of the bed they usually put to good use and waited for her to show up and tell her everything she wanted Rachel to say. 

She had laid down and closed her eyes, feeling the tiredness of the latest events getting the best of her. She laid down on her back, turned towards the side of the bed that Rachel used to occupy. The one that would’ve smelled like her, if they weren’t really doing this in hotel rooms and it was their bed. It was a real bed that would’ve smelled like Rachel, the morning after, instead of clean laundry. 

She had dozed off without really acknowledging it, but when she woke up it was to someone stroking the side of her face and hair. It was to the familiar scent of vanilla and Chanel n° 5 surrounding her. It was to Rachel lying beside her, staring at her like she hadn’t seen her in ages. 

“Hey.” Quinn cleared her throat to get rid of the huskiness caused by her sleepy state. 

“Hi.” Rachel ceased her caresses and stared at her. She just stared at her with a soft gaze. 

“I didn’t hear you coming in, how long was I out?” Rolling on her back, she slowly sat up to stretch her neck rolling it around slowly. She should’ve never lied back without a pillow under her head. 

“15 minutes, more or less.” Rachel wrapped herself around her from behind, circling her waist with her legs and torso with her arms. “I apologize for my tardiness.” 

“Finn, I assume?” Quinn’s hands dropped on her exposed calves. She let her fingers caress the back of them, feeling Rachel tighten her grip around her. 

“I am sorry.” Rachel nuzzled into her shoulder, crossing her arms below her breasts to grip on her sides. 

“It’s okay.” Craning her neck, she found Rachel’s mouth with hers for a soft kiss. “You’re here, now.” 

“Yes.” She cupped her face with one hand, holding it in place while their mouths met slowly. She nipped at her lower lip softly, tugging it with her in her mouth. She bit onto it again, hard enough to get Quinn to groan and disclose her mouth.Taking advantage of that, she slipped the tip of her tongue past her lips to brush against Quinn’s in her mouth. 

“Rachel, we need to talk.” Quinn turned around in her arms and reclined her back against the mattress, claiming her usual position on top. 

“I know, but can you just kiss me now?” She cupped her face with her palms and looked up into her eyes. 

“Of course, I can.” She dropped down to brush her mouth over Rachel’s, who sighed into the kiss and held her close. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yes. Now, everything is fine.” Rachel nodded. She tilted her head to the side to let Quinn get better access to her mouth and lips. She opened her mouth enough to feel her tongue battle with hers, tracing every inch of it. Hands tugged at the clothes between their frames, without the usual frenzy, but she wanted her naked and inside of her, like never before. 

“Rach…” Quinn found herself on her back, with Rachel sitting astride her lap with both hands braced against her chest, to leverage on as she ondulated her hips back and forth to take her in. She wasn’t acting differently per se but the way she was moving against her, well, it felt different. She felt different when she kissed her or caressed every inch of skin at her disposal.

“Please…” Rachel crouched over her prone form and cradled her head with her forearms. She rested their foreheads together and just used her hips to keep going on with whatever they were doing. It wasn’t sex. It wasn’t just sex, at least. She held her hands over her cheeks and her lips brushing together, tenderly. 

“Okay. Okay.” Quinn gulped and guided her closer by the ass. Her hands held her by the ass to pump herself inside her from beneath. She simply thrusted in and out. She simply took her the way she was asking to be taken. She took her while her arms closed around her back, holding her against her chest that Rachel was soaking with hot tears. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“I can’t leave him.” Rachel whispered against her shoulder, where she laid on. “He just lost his mother, I can’t leave him now.”

“Will you ever leave him?” Quinn stroked along her bare back slowly. Her fingers brushed along her spine, burning it in her memory as if these were the last moments they were having together. 

“I don’t know…” She sniffed softly. She curled more into the blonde’s arms, who simply directed her gaze outside the window. Even if it was June, it was raining like there was no tomorrow. It was mirroring the way she was really feeling at that moment, right then. 

“Were you lying to my face when you told me you’d want to see this going somewhere? When you wondered what it’d feel like being in New York with you? Dating you?” She said through gritted teeth. Her hand dropped to the mattress and her body tensed under her. “Were all those lies to keep me in bed with you?”

“God, no…” Rachel tried to cup her face, but the blonde slipped from under her, sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to her. 

“I would have never denied you a fuck, you’re pretty good after all.” She spat with venom and reached for her clothes on the floor. She needed to get out of there. 

“You’re hurting me on purpose and you know it. It wasn’t just a fuck, Quinn.” She reached for her again, but she stumbled to her feet, with her pants halfway up her legs. 

“Wasn’t it, Rachel? What was it then? We never put a label to this but maybe it’s overdue.” She crossed her arms over her bare chest. “Are we fuck buddies? Are we dating?” She held her gaze. “Are we wasting our time with something that was never meant to go anywhere?” She put her shirt back on. 

“I don’t know... “ Rachel looked away and held the blanket to her chest. She felt so exposed and bare under Quinn’s eyes. She felt like she was exposing herself to Quinn for the first time. 

“I’ll tell you what I know, then.” She took a step closer and reached for her chin, tilting her head back up to hers. “I fell for you the moment I saw you in that bar and realized you were going to save me from myself. You were like coming up for fresh air but now I wish I had just let myself drown.” She chuckled sadly. 

“You love me?” Rachel held onto her wrist. 

“It doesn’t matter, does it? You’re choosing Finn over me. What I feel doesn’t matter anymore.” She went to pull back, but Rachel just pressed into her chest, hugging her around the waist with both arms. 

“I love you.” Rachel whispered against her neck. “I love you so much Quinn, but I can’t pick you. I can’t be with you because you deserve so much more than that.” 

“Rachel…” Quinn pulled her back enough to stare down into her eyes. “You can’t…”

“I can.” She cupped her face with both hands. “I can make that choice for you, baby. I can make you hate me for trying to send you on your way, without me.” 

“I don’t need you to do that. I don’t need you to send me on my way.” She struggled against her grip, but she didn’t want to leave her arms. She didn’t want to leave her embrace, knowing it might just be the last time together. 

“I do.” She smiled sadly. “You’ll hate me and curse me for this, but you’ll thank me in a few years…” She leaned up to kiss her softly. “You’ll thank me for having let you have the life you’ve always deserved.” 

“I want you in my life. Why can’t you fucking see it?” She pulled her tightly against her. “I just need you.” 

“You don’t need anyone but yourself, Quinn.” She kissed her harder, tangling her hands into her blonde hair. “It’s your chance...you only have one chance and you can’t waste it on me.” She slowed the kiss until it was just a brush of their lips. “I lost my chance but I won’t let you throw yours away.” 

“Rach, please…” Quinn tried to pull her closer but the brunette stood and pulled from her arms. 

“You should go to Yale. Forget about New York. Forget about me, Quinn.” She picked her clothes from off the floor and slipped them on. 

“How can you ask me that? I could never forget you.” Quinn tried again, but Rachel took a step back whenever she came forward. 

“If you can’t forget me, just move on…” She sniffed softly. “This was never supposed to last. I told you we had an expiration date and this is it. Our time is up.” 

“That’s not true. We made plans...we talked about this, Rachel. We talked about being in New York and-”

“Plans change, Quinn. You can’t hold onto something that we might have said in the heat of the moment.” She looked away. Lying had never been her thing. 

“I know what I said and that was not the heat of the moment. It was real between us…” Quinn took that moment as an advantage to step up into the brunette’s personal space and back her against the wall. “Look at me and say it again. Say it.” She whispered angrily. 

“It’s over, Quinn. We’re done.” Rachel mustered enough courage to look up into her eyes. Those eyes that she had fallen for and that were going to haunt her dreams. How she was going to miss them. 

“It’s not...It’s not over between us.” Quinn shook her head and cupped her face. “Rachel…”

“Let me go.” Rachel pulled her hands off her face and leaned up to place one last lingering kiss on her lips. “Let me go, baby.” 

“No.” Quinn shook her head and held her there, burying her face into the crook of her neck. “I don’t want to.”

“It’s for the best, Quinn. You’ll find the strength to forgive me, sooner or later.” She kissed the side of her face and pulled her arms away from hers. She slipped from her grip and gathered her last things, before heading towards the door. 

“If you walk out of the door, you’re dead to me!” Quinn shouted at her back. “I wish I had never met you, Rachel!” 

“Goodbye, Quinn…” She threw one last glance at her over her shoulder and then slipped out of the door, closing it behind herself. She leaned back into it, trying to find the courage to walk away for real without running back into the arms of the woman she loved and her heart longed for. She couldn't do that to her. She couldn’t keep Quinn away from her future and do to her what she and Finn had done to each other, so she just pushed herself off the door and walked down the hallway, to get to the elevator and leave for good. 

It was really over between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this story comes to an end. Thanks for all the comments (I'll reply to each of you!) and hope you'll like the ending like the rest of the fic!

**PART 5**

“What are you doing here?” Quinn had caught her from the stage. She had ignored the lingering gaze as she thanked Figgins and received her diploma. She had graduated after everything she had gone through. After everything she had lost. Despite everything. 

“I couldn’t miss it.” The woman sniffed softly, wiping the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief. 

“Is he here?” She looked around to find another familiar face in the crowd.

She cupped her face, brushing the tears away. “You’ve grown so much.”

“Without a mother.” Quinn pulled from her touch. “Without a family loving me and accepting me for who I am.” She looked over at Sam’s parents, who were embracing him tightly. 

“Quinnie…” She tried again, but the blonde took a step back. 

“No. You don’t get to call me like that.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I needed you when he threw me out for doing the right thing. Where were you when I needed a roof over my head?”

“I made a mistake. Come home and we can talk about it.” She looked back at her daughter.

“I am moving away in a few weeks. I got into Columbia and Yale.” She looked down at her feet. 

“What about Dartmouth? It is where we all went.” She furrowed her brows.

“Why would I want to go there and be reminded of you? I am no longer a wanted member of the Fabray family, you said it yourself when you kicked me out.” She stared back at her mother. “I got it covered, don’t worry.”

“You’re using your trust fund for it? If you had gone to Dartmouth, we would have paid for it. We can still get you in.” Judy reached in her designer bag for her phone. 

“Don’t bother calling him and telling him I am coming home.” She sighed. “I have things back home I would like to get back, but if it’s too late I will deal with that.”

“Your things are in a storage location. It’s safe and out of your Father’s reach.” Judy took a small key from her keychain set. 

“Thanks.” She pocketed the key. “I should go back now…” 

“Of course.” Judy nodded when she saw Sam and his family waiting on her. “So, this is it…”

“I think so.” Quinn nodded softly. 

“I never said it, Quinn, but I love you.” Judy leaned forward to press a soft kiss against her forehead. “You deserved better than us.”

“Despite everything, I love you too.” Quinn squeezed her hands. 

“I wish you the best, but it seems you’re on the right track to achieve good things.” She nodded towards Dwight who was mere feet away. With one last knowing glance, she turned on her heels and walked back to her Mercedes. 

“We were thinking of having dinner out. Ribs?” Dwight squeezed her shoulders from behind. 

“Sounds great, yes.” Quinn nodded and turned to look at him. 

“C’mon, let’s go home.” He draped an arm around her shoulders and walked with her, tucking her in his side. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

She didn’t know what possessed her to get the usual room for the night. She was just a week away from moving to New York and here she was, standing at the reception desk waiting for the key. It didn’t mean anything really, but it had been 1 year since their first night there. Well, It actually meant everything. 

“Miss Waldorf, long time no see. The usual?” The guy behind the desk had the key in his hand before she could even hand him the credit card.

“Thanks, Maurice.” She signed the papers and took the key, heading for the elevators. It took her less than five minutes to reach their - her - room and stand in front of the closed door. Did she really want to go in there? Was she ready for it? 

Sighing, she turned around to leave and maybe ask for a refund, when the door swung open and she found herself staring down into a pair of familiar eyes. How could she ever forget her? 

“You’re not room service.” Rachel held a little tighter on the door. 

“Last time I checked, I didn’t work here.” Quinn furrowed her brows. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be off to college?” She leaned against the doorway, with her arms crossed. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Finn? Or you’ve got company in there?” She nodded to the hotel room. 

“You want to check it yourself?” She pushed the door open, so she could take a better look inside. “Go ahead, if you don’t trust me.”

“Why should I care? We’re no longer involved, are we?” She let her eyes wander behind her shoulder anyway. She couldn’t catch any movement or sign that she wasn’t alone. 

“That’s how you don’t care?” She chuckled. “It’s like you’re trying to see through the walls like Batman.”

“Superman.” She corrected her.

“Same thing, nerd.” Rachel pushed herself off the doorway. “I just checked in, but I can get another room. Same thing right?” She walked back inside to gather her things. 

“No, it’s not.” Quinn walked in, closing the door behind herself. “You know it’s not the same thing or you’d have booked a random room.” 

“They removed the DVD player.” She brushed her hand over the space where it used to be. 

“No one ever used it, anyway.” Quinn leaned against the wall, with her hands at her sides. 

“We did. I hadn’t watched the Xmas special for years, I guess?” She smiled softly. “I felt bad when we started…”

“Fucking while it was on? Yeah, that’s why I turned it off while we did it.” She nodded. “Do you still have it?”

“Have what?” Rachel looked at her.

“The ugly sweater.” She smirked.

“Yes. It’s in the back of my closet. It’s very warm albeit ugly on the outside.” She nodded softly.

“It’s where you got that shirt from? The same box with my name on it?” Quinn pushed herself off the wall and walked to her.

“I must have forgotten about it.” She looked down at herself. She hadn’t given it back on purpose. It was one of the few things she held onto and that reminded her of Quinn. 

“Keep it.” The blonde stood in front of her. 

“I had no intentions of giving it back.” Rachel’s hands hitched to reach out and touch her. To hold onto her waist. To caress her cheeks. To feel her.

“I should go find another room.” Quinn reached for the phone on the desk and dialed 9. 

“No.” Rachel ended the call and looked at her.

“Why not?” Quinn put the phone down and looked down at her. 

“Because…” Rachel furrowed her brows and looked away for a moment. 

“Because what?” Her hand cupped her chin in a familiar way. She turned her head to stare at her. 

“I missed you.” Rachel looked up into her eyes. “I missed you every day since I walked out of that door.”

“I see.” She nodded, brushing her thumb over her chin. 

“I had to, do you understand that?” Her hands clenched at her sides. 

“No, honestly I don’t.” Quinn dropped her hand. “I am still going to move to New York, with or without you.”

“Why?” It was Rachel’s turn not to understand.

“Because Columbia has a great program, one of my closest friends will be in New York and I don’t want to live in another small town, even if it’s because of its great institution.” She looked at her. “Plus, I couldn’t miss the chance of running into you once there.”

“You know how many people live there?” Rachel smiled softly. “The chances are slim.”

“But what were the chances of us meeting up in that bar, for the first time? You were a girl in a bar.” She cupped her face with her palm. “You became my girl in a bar.” 

“Quinn…” She held onto her wrist. 

“I had just walked in, looking around for a place to sit when I saw you.” She said softly. “I saw you sitting there, playing with the olive in your glass and your eyes lost somewhere behind the counter. You were just lost in a world of your own thoughts and you were beautiful.” She used her other arm to pull her in. “And you just stole my heart with one look.”

“Your girl in a bar.” She circled her neck with her arms and pulled her down to crush her mouth against the blonde’s. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“What time is it?” Lifting her head off her chest, she looked over at the clock on the nightstand. 

“Eager to leave?” Quinn stroked up and down the forearm circling her waist, tracing the muscles with her fingers. 

“Not really.” Rachel looked at her. It hadn’t taken them much to fall into the same old habits, that still made them feel good. “When are you leaving?”

“Next week. Santana and I found a place to rent in Brooklyn.” She looked down at the brunette lying on her chest. “How long are you staying here?”

“Until the end of the month. There are things that need to be taken care of.” Rachel pushed her hair back with a gentle touch, exposing her eyes to her. 

She kept staring down into her eyes, trying to find the courage to tell her everything.

“We shouldn’t have done this.” Quinn looked away from her and slipped out of her arms, sitting at the edge of the bed. “You’re still married…”

“And you’re leaving.” She dropped on her back, wrapping herself up in the bedsheets. 

“And you’re staying.” She looked over her shoulder at her. “But with someone else.” 

“Quinn.” She sat up to take her hand but the blonde had already escaped her grip and reached for her discarded clothes on the floor. “Quinn, we should talk about this.”

“Why should we?” With her shirt on, she pulled her boxers up her legs. “It was just a quick trip down the memory lane. Something to get out of our system…”

“What?” Rachel felt suddenly self conscious being there, without anything else besides the sheets that smelled like them. 

“Something to say goodbye properly, no? You said it yourself, you and I can’t be together.” Lifting her hair in a messy ponytail, she avoided looking at her. She was really trying to be strong, this time. “Or have you changed your mind?”

“Why are you being so mean?” She looked away from the blonde. 

“Weren’t you mean when you broke up with me two months ago? Or when you told me our future plans were just things said in the heat of the moment?” She shook her head. “I came to tell you about New York and you pushed me away. You told me choosing us was going to be a mistake, so who is the mean one?” She slipped her shoes back on and grabbed her watch from the nightstand. “You’re just pissed that I am ending this before you could, this time.”

“How dare you?” She grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at her, but she dodged it easily. 

“Whatever. I am outta here.” She threw the pillow back on the messed bed and slipped her jacket on. “Say hi to your husband for me.” 

“You can be such a bitch.” Rachel gripped the sheets hard enough to rip into them. 

“Takes one to know one, baby.” With that said she walked out of the room, before she regretted everything that had occurred and went back to apologize for it.

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Can I pay for that?” A voice startled her out of her thoughts. She didn’t know what possessed her to make her go there, of all the places she might have gone to. 

“It’s just a coke.” She looked down at her glass. It was not even coke anymore...it was more melted ice with a hint of coke.

“You may use a refill, maybe with some addition.” The brunette waved the bartender over and asked for a Martini and another coke, with Jack on the side. 

“Thanks but no…” Quinn pushed her glass back. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Where do you want me to take you? My place ain’t that far.” She dropped a manicured hand against her chest. “You’re a believer?” Her fingers brushed the shape of her golden penchant.

“It’s just a reminder.” She looked down at the golden cross hanging from her neck. 

“Of whom you used to be?” She traced the necklace slowly, until she cupped the back of her neck. “We all have a past, you know? But I know your future.”

“Oh really now?” She reached for her wrist and pulled it from behind her own neck. 

“Huh.” She nodded. “I see you on your back while I take you for a nice and long ride.” She trailed her hand down her front, until she reached her belt. She tugged Quinn by it and leaned up to brush her lips over her ear. “Or maybe you can take me on my fours?” 

“What about none of those options?” A third voice said from behind them. 

“Who are you?” The brunette scoffed, staring at her. 

“What are you doing with this skank?” Rachel turned to the blonde, who was caught between the two brunette women. 

“Skank? Bitch you didn’t call me skank.” The unknown girl clenched her hands in fists. “Let’s get out of here, sexy.” She took the blonde by her hand but Rachel did the same, nudging Quinn from side to side. “Let go.”

“You let her go. She’s coming with me.” Rachel tugged the blonde, making her stumble forward. 

“You know what? I am not going anywhere with either of you.” Quinn pulled her hands from their grasp and pushed through the crowd to get out of there. She was no one’s property. 

“See what you did? Fucking bitch.” The unknown brunette went to chase after her, but Rachel made her trip over one of the lower stools at the nearby table, sending her and all those drinks to the floor.

“Ops.” Rachel smirked and ran after the blonde, needing to catch her before she disappeared or, worse, found someone else to live with. “Quinn…Quinn wait up.” She caught up with her by the front door. She didn’t know if she had been fast enough or Quinn had slowed down, but she was there to exit the club with her.

“I am not your property.” The blonde leaned against her car. 

“I know you are not but she was all over you and-“

“I was going to push her away before you came to my rescue.” She looked at her. “Or maybe I should’ve gone along with her, to see where it was going to lead me.”

“You wanted her? She was a pretentious bitch.” She looked over at the entrance of the club, expecting to see her show up any moment. 

“I am a bitch too.” Quinn chuckled.

“That’s different.” Rachel stared back at her. 

“Why?” Quinn’s stance relaxed and her back hit the side of her car, when Rachel pushed her against it. 

“I was mad at you, but you’re not a bitch.” She leaned into her, both hands against her chest. 

“I deserved that title.” Quinn’s arms curled around her waist, stroking up and down her lower back. 

“Maybe a little.” She leaned in to brush her lips against Quinn’s. “Hi.” 

“Hi back.” Quinn whispered against her mouth. She held her tighter and tilted her head enough to feel more of her mouth on hers. “How did you find me?”

“I needed to talk to you after our fight and dropped by your place, Sam told me you like coming here.” She nudged her nose with hers. “It’s where we met.”

“Yes, I know.” She lowered her forehead against hers. “I didn’t want her.” She pushed against Rachel’s, 

“She was hot.” Raising herself on her tiptoes, she pressed her mouth more insistently against Quinn, who turned around to pin her against the car. “Spend the night with me.”

“Rachel…” Sighing, she let her down on her feet. “We shouldn’t. You broke things off to send me on my way, we shouldn’t.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.” She pinched the fabric of her shirt between her fingers. 

“I want to, but it will get things more complicated than they are.” She rested the side of her head against her temple. 

“Do you still love me?” She dropped her forehead against the jut of her collarbones, hand cupped over her cross. 

“Of course I do.” Quinn kissed her temple. “Do you?”

“I do.” She kissed the base of her throat and circled her waist with her other arm, basking in that embrace a little longer. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

**3 months later**

New York was different when the leaves started to fall and the days smelled like rain. New York was different when she started a routine that made her feel less like an outsider happening in the city that never slept. 

She had the same routine for her weekdays. She woke up early in the morning, put her running shoes on and her earbuds in and she started running.

She started running to explore the neighborhood, at first. Yes, they were not living in fancy Manhattan, but Brooklyn had a lot to offer to a couple of young girls that were used to a small town in Ohio. 

Runs became longer and longer was the list of places she wanted to visit or go buy stuff from. It’s how she managed to find the best bagel place where to get the sesame seeds type, that Santana liked so much. 

It’s how she got their worn out pull-out couch that sat in their small living room for whenever Sam came visiting from Boston. 

But it’s not how she ran into her again. 

The air was still humid and the clouds had not gone away completely, so she had just chosen to be lazy and roll over in bed to sleep some more, without worrying about making it in time for class. Tuesday’s schedule was her favorite. She could indulge in bed or run errands or punch extra hours at the antique shop around the corner. 

She had tried to get back to sleep but her internal body clock was so used to her early mornings, that she found herself walking out of her cozy apartment, wrapped in her trench coat and a scarf that Mary had knitted for her. 

Walking her usual path to the bakery two blocks from her apartment, she was so lost in her thoughts that she had almost missed her. She had almost missed her sitting by the window, in the coffee house she usually walked by, the one that served an exquisite Caramel flavored black tea. 

She had almost missed her but something had caught her eyes. Something that used to be around her neck and was now hanging from her neck. She stopped on the sidewalk to stare at her profile, feeling like a creepy stalker but she hadn’t seen her in months and yet, she felt the same butterflies filling her stomach. 

She felt like time stood still around them. It was like the leaves were caught mid-air, equally distant from the branches they belonged to and from the floor that was supposed to welcome them on. She felt the same, suspended between a past they were running from and a future to embrace. 

“Move along!” She was pushed to the side when a business man - clad in his expensive suite - shouldered past her to walk by, interrupting her thoughts. 

“Sorry.” She usually didn’t apologize for the assholes that rushed through life, as if they were the only ones going somewhere. She didn’t realize she was moving until she heard a familiar bell and someone greeted her at the door. 

“Counter or table?” A middle aged woman said with a chirpy voice. It didn’t sound fake though. 

“I saw a friend…” She looked over the table where the brunette sat, with her back to her. “I’ll have a caramel tea with a blueberry muffin, the vegan one.”

“Coming right up, dear. Go find your friend and I’ll come find you.” She smiled brightly. Quinn nodded and took tentative steps towards the other girl. What if she didn’t want to see her? What if she was there with someone else? What if-

“Quinn?” Rachel had caught the movement behind her and a familiar scent mixing with the coffee aroma. She touched the cross around her neck out of pure habit. She had never taken it off since their last night in the parking lot. 

“You’re here.” Quinn said it so obviously, that Rachel smiled.

“So are you.” She stood up. What to do next?

“In New York, I mean...what are you doing here?” She loosened the scarf from around her neck and left it hanging on her. 

“I moved back here and took my old job back.” She looked around them. “You live around here?”

“Just a couple of blocks away.” She thanked the waitress for her order and slipped her a 10$ bill. 

“I live in a studio apartment around the corner.” Rachel nodded softly. “What a small world, huh?” 

“Totally.” Quinn pocketed the change. “You’re with someone else?”

“No. I am on my own.” She said it, with a double meaning that she hoped Quinn had caught. “Are you expected somewhere? Classes maybe?”

“Nope. I have a lecture in the afternoon and then I’ll fly back tomorrow, to spend Thanksgiving home with Sam and his folks.” She sipped from her tea. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s my day off and classes are suspended for Thanksgiving break. Maybe we could go back to my place and talk?” She nodded to her tea and muffin. “You can ask for a take-out bag.”

“Yes, sure.” She sat her cup down and called the waitress over. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

The last time they had been in a room together, they hadn’t wasted too much time ripping each other’s clothes off and doing what they were best at. Being physical with Rachel was the thing she felt probably more natural with. They had good sex and they were good at it. 

This time, though, she let the feeling of being around her sink in. She let her feelings prevail over her urges to get closer to her and just remember how good they fit together. Her eyes took in the small apartment that seemed to be relatively new and scarcely furnished. 

“I’d offer you a tour, but this is pretty much it.” She looked around herself, from her open kitchen and living room to the queen sized pushed against the opposite wall, with an open bookshelf trying to separate the two environments. 

“It’s nice, this building has a doorman too.” She had left her coat by the door and was now walking around to take it in. “Our apartment is bigger because we got two rooms out of it, but we had to fix most of the stuff.”

“That’s New York.” Rachel leaned against the kitchen counter to watch her. 

“Yeah, but I like it.” She looked at the boxes on the floor. 

“You can ask me, you know? I am sure you’ve got questions.” She pushed herself off the counter and walked to the blonde. 

“You left him.” She took in the boxes and the newly furnished apartment and the missing pictures of them together. She also noticed there was no trace of him around. Everything was Rachel’s.

“Well done, Sherlock.” Rachel stood beside her by the bookshelf, where all the pictures portrayed Rachel or her Dads but none of it had Finn in. “I told you I had stuff to take care of, before moving back here.”

“He didn’t come with you?” Quinn stared down at her. 

“He never wanted to be here, Lima is where he belonged and I should’ve known better.” Rachel took a polaroid pic from the lower shelf and handed it to her. “This is my favorite.”

“Oh God, the ugly sweaters.” She remembered that as if it had been yesterday. “I totally forgot we took pictures in it.” 

“The best Xmas since I was a kid.” Rachel looked at her with a soft smile. “All because of you.” 

“I didn’t know you were Jewish or we would have celebrated Hanukkah. Is that correct?” She put it down. 

“The fact you know it makes me love you even more.” She reached for her hand and dropped a kiss on the familiar mark on her wrist. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing planned besides packing for my trip.” She turned to face her. 

“Would you like to come over for dinner? We can order take out or I can cook for you, but I can’t promise much.” She chuckled softly. 

“There’s this vegan place just across my building, we can get something there and bring it back here or we can eat it at my place.” Raising her other hand, she used her knuckles to caress the side of her face. 

“What about Santana?” She stepped in her personal space to circle her waist with her arms and lock her hands under the hem of her sweater, tracing the other tattoo with familiarity. 

“She’s off to be with Brittany and her family in Montana.” Her fingers trailed down the side of her neck, touching the necklace that used to be hers. “You still wear it.”

“I never take it off.” She looked down at it. “Do you want it back?”

“I want you back.” Quinn tilted her chin upwards. “I want you back in my life, Rachel.” 

“Quinn…” She pulled her closer. 

“Hear me out ok? You’re no longer married to him and we live in the same city now...God, we live in the same neighborhood and if that’s not some sort of sign that we should be together, then what should we be waiting for?” She sighed when the brunette seemed almost defeated. “I love you, what else do we need?”

“Everything else, Quinn.” She dropped her hands from her waist. “I thought love would be enough to make it work but it’s not enough, Quinn. We did it all backwards and we fell in love because we made each other feel good. It’s not enough.” 

“Then what should we do? Ignore these feelings and move on? I don’t want to move on from you.” Quinn took her hands. 

“That’s not what I am saying.” Rachel laced their fingers together and pushed into her. “I am saying that we are physically compatible, Quinn, but to make it work we need everything else. We need to start over and do it properly, this time.”

“Do it properly? How?” She furrowed her brows.

“We go on dates.” She leaned in to kiss her chin. “We take it slow and get to know each other and I don’t mean just the heavy stuff.” She nuzzled her forehead against her chin. “We learn things about each other, even the most trivial ones, like your favorite color or baseball team.”

“Mets.” Quinn kissed her forehead softly. 

“Yankees. We’ve got a problem here, Fabray.” She pulled back to stare at her, with a pout. 

“Oh hush, we can totally agree to disagree.” She leaned down to peck her softly. “I didn’t say Red Sox.”

“Thank God or I’d have to kick you out of here.” She circled her neck with her arms and pushed herself on her bare tiptoes to kiss her softly. 

“You would date me despite that, I am sure.” She grinned against her lips and lifted her off the floor, supporting her from the back of her thighs. 

“You’re too cocky, Fabray.” Her forearms cradled her face and her fingers brushed her bangs back, showing her beautiful eyes. 

“You like me being cocky.” She pushed her hips forward, making her aware of what was arousing between them. 

“Quinn…” She admonished softly, even if she wasn’t really that mad. She still remembered what it felt like being with Quinn that way and she missed her. 

“I know...we take it slow.” She let her down on her feet and took a step back. 

“Until the third or fourth date. I am not easy.” Rachel smirked at her pout. “Oh c’mon, you went three months without sex didn’t you? I mean it’s totally fine if you did not.” There hadn’t been anyone else since Quinn, but she couldn’t assume it had been the same for her. She was young and attractive and people had eyes. 

“Rachel…” Soft hands cupped her face. “You’ve been the last person I have been intimate with.” She leaned down to kiss her lips softly. “And I want to keep it that way for a long time.” 

“You don’t want to have sex for a long time?” She held her wrists with hers. 

“I want you to be my last.” She shook her head softly. “I want you to be the only one.” 

“Does it count if I take you back to bed and make love to you now? We can start doing it properly when we go on a date later?” She leaned in to nibble on her bottom lip. 

“You made the rules and you want to play against them, already?” She whimpered. 

“Screw the rules?” She tugged her by the sweatshirt and crushed her lips against the blonde. 

“What if we…” She felt her hands move under the sweatshirt to palm her breasts under her sports bra. “Fuck, what if we make out on your couch, instead?”

“Naked?” She trailed her lips along her jawline. 

“Clothes on.” She grabbed her by the backside and pushed their fronts back together. 

“Touching?” Rachel squeezed her breasts and nipped hard at her pulse point, making her slap her ass with both hands. 

“Hands above the waist.” Quinn pushed her backwards towards the couch and laid her on it, settling on top of her. 

“Under clothes.” She smirked when then blonde nodded and just pushed her mouth over hers, to suck on her tongue. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Soft lips pressed against her temple, waking her up. 

“What time is it?” Quinn nuzzled her face into the pillow, breathing in her the familiar scent that belonged to Rachel and only her. She had always imagined what it’d feel like to wake up in a bed that smelled like the brunette and now she had the chance to. 

“10. I don’t know what time you’re supposed to leave…” She sat on the edge of the mattress, running her fingers through her messy hair. “I didn’t want you to be late.”

“It’s after lunch, I have a few more hours to pack and go there.” Rolling on her back, she stretched slowly and looked over at the brunette, who was staring at her with a smile. “What?”

“You look so young when you wake up.” She leaned down to kiss her softly. “And always so beautiful.” She stared into her eyes. 

“I’m already in your bed, you know?” Smirking, she slipped a hand behind her neck to keep her lips close and steal another kiss from her. “Come lie with me.” 

“We shouldn’t. We weren’t supposed to sleep together after our first date.” She tried to pull back from her, but those eyes simply pulled her in and so she slipped back under the covers, snuggling against Quinn. 

“But we just slept together, with clothes on and no funny business.” She turned her head to nuzzle her nose against her temple. “This is what I always imagined it’d be…”

“What?” Rachel’s hand rested just below her collarbone, where the cross used to be. 

“Waking up in a bed that smelled like you.” She placed her hand over Rachel’s, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “Hotel rooms smelled like clean laundry, but this is different.” She kissed the corner of her lips. “It’s your body lotion and shampoo and that perfume you always wear.” 

“You’re surprisingly romantic.” She turned to kiss her lips, now that they were so close.

“I have always been romantic, you just saw the other side of me.” She rested her cheek against the pillow and looked down at her. 

“That’s not totally true.” She smiled. “Even when we mostly fucked each other’s brains out, there were moments where you just held me or did small things for me. You gave me your cross.” Her fingers trailed down her throat. “You gave me your heart.” Rachel placed her palm over the skin over her chest. 

“It’s yours.” Quinn leaned down to nuzzle her cheek and then kiss the skin behind her ear. 

“When will you be back?” Rachel turned her head, resting her temple against Quinn’s.

“Saturday evening.” She closed her eyes. “Do you want to do something on Sunday? Maybe a brunch or a walk out?”

“Yes, sounds good.” She snuggled more into her, tucking her head against her neck. “Will you come here after you land?”

“Do you want me to?” Quinn opened her eyes to kiss her forehead. 

“Yes.” She pulled back to stare up into her eyes. “We can have dinner here and then…” She trailed off looking at their tangled bodies. “I like waking up into your arms, I guess.” 

“I’ll come here and spend the night, even if we should still take it slow.” She looked over at the clock. “I should get going.” 

“Yeah.” Rachel pecked her lips and rolled on her back, letting her sit up. “You want some coffee? I can make a pot.”

“I’ll grab a cup on my way home.” She stood fully and stretched the arms above her head, popping the bones in her back. 

“Is the old injury giving you a hard time?” She swung her legs off the side of the bed and padded to the open kitchen to make a pot for herself. 

“It aches a little more when it’s raining or is about to.” She looked out, finding some clouds scattering the sky above the tall buildings. “What are you doing to celebrate Thanksgiving?”

“Meeting up with a colleague who got tickets for the Macy’s parade.” She looked over her shoulder at the blonde advancing on her. “Maybe do some shopping.” 

“It’s the event of the year, maybe next year we can go together.” She wrapped herself around her, kissing her bare shoulder from behind. 

“You think we’ll last that long?” She leaned back into her, with one arm around her head and her other hand laced through Quinn’s, on her stomach. 

“I hope longer than seeing it together once.” She nuzzled her neck slowly, holding onto her a little tighter. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“My feet hurt.” Rachel leaned against the closed door to take her heels off, placing her bare feet on the ground.

“Why did you insist on wearing heels? We were going for a walk, not a catwalk.” She opened the door of her own apartment and carried the shoes inside, followed by the brunette. 

“I know but I like kissing you without making you stretch your neck, because of my shorter height.” She hung the coat by the door and looked around. It was a loft with an open kitchen in the further corner on the East side of the house and visible brick walls that they had painted on. 

“Do you want tea, coffee or OJ?” She had stuck her head in the fridge. 

“What you’re having.” She padded across the room to look down the hallway, catching two closed doors and the open one that led to the bathroom. “When is Santana coming back?” 

“The day after tomorrow.” She handed her a glass of orange juice, drinking from hers. “We can watch a movie or something.” 

“Watch a movie without paying attention to it?” She slipped slowly, eyes lingering on the blonde. 

“Or that.” She chuckled over the rim of her glass. She finished it and rinsed it quickly. “Do you want to change into something comfier than tight jeans?”

“What do you have in mind?” She did the same with her glass and pinned her to the kitchen counter with her body. 

“Sweatpants and a hoodie?” She gulped when she felt her hands trail down her front. “Or maybe boxers?”

“Is that what you’re wearing under these?” She fingered the belt that kept her jeans on. 

“Rach. I thought we were supposed to wait.” She felt herself stir. She had not even jerked off in the shower. She was waiting for her. 

“We had three dates.” She slipped her belt off, dropping it aside. “Technically, it’s not against the rules.”

“But…” She felt her fingers pop her jeans open and lower her zip enough to have her hand slip down her front, palming her through the boxers. 

“No but…” She slipped her fingers through her boxers slit to rub them along the underside of her shaft. “We waited and my hand is not enough to keep me satisfied.” 

“Your hand?” She whimpered when her palm closed around her base. “God…” She pulled her by the waist and crushed her mouth over the brunette’s, who blindly navigated through the apartment to get to Quinn’s room. 

It felt like endless hours, but it had been just a couple of hours since they had fallen in bed together. Clothes had been discarded by the foot of the smaller bed. They really didn’t need too much space to roll around and take each other over the edge, multiple times. They just needed each other. 

“Fuck, I can’t…” Rachel pulled her from her neck and rested their foreheads together. She felt herself tighten impossibly hard around Quinn, who was still pushing inside her from under her. 

“You can give me another one.” Quinn’s lips latched around her left nipple. She had it bouncing right in front of her face and couldn’t resist. She sucked on it while her fingers rubbed her other nub. The one that caused her so much pleasure. 

“Quinn, baby…” Her nails dug into her shoulders. She scratched along her paler skin while her core spasmed around her bare length, still thrusting into her. 

“Shit, like that.” She had switched to her other breast. Her teeth nipped and scraped over the turgid nub while her hips rose to pump away into her, nearing herself to the edge. 

“Come with me.” She sobbed against her temple. She kept on spasming around Quinn, who started bottoming out into her. She could feel her essence spill into her, again. 

“Fuck take it.” She grunted with each throb in her lower regions. The harder she sucked her nipple, the more she unloaded into her. 

“God.” She had missed her. She had missed all the ways Quinn could take her. She had missed the feeling of their bodies slap together, without anything else separating them. She had missed the way Quinn filled her up, physically and emotionally. 

“Fuck.” She dropped on her back, arms stretched at her sides and eyes closed. They had gone at it for two hours without stopping to catch their breath between the rounds. 

“You just did.” Rachel crouched over her young lover. Her hair cascaded all over them, almost like a curtain to hide behind. “Tired already?”

“Give me five minutes and I’ll show you how tired I am.” She opened her eyes when she felt her nose brush over hers. 

“Kidding. We can just lay here.” She trailed her hands along her forearms until she had laced their hands together, stretching fully on top of the blonde. 

**RQRQRQRQRQRQRQ**

“Rachel?” Quinn entered the girl’s apartment with her spare key and hung the coat by the door, placing her winter boots beside the brunette’s. She could smell the familiar scent of homemade cookies and just followed it, until she got a glimpse of the brunette moving around the small kitchen area singing to herself. “Rachel?” She said a little louder, not to scare her too much. 

“Quinn! I didn’t hear you coming in.” She switched the music off and leaned over the counter to welcome her with a soft kiss. “How are Sam’s folks?” 

“They went to Rockefeller Center for the “Christmas On Ice” show. Thanks for the tickets.” Cold hands cupped her flushed cheeks, holding her head there as their kisses turned longer. “What are you making?” 

“Chocolate Chip cookies, of course. It’s all I can make.” She chuckled against her lips. 

“Your stir fry ain’t that bad, either.” She let her go back to the batter and sat on a stool by the kitchen island. “I know that sweater…”

“It’s perfect for Xmas, don’t you think?” She winked at her over her shoulder. 

“You should’ve told me to get it, I would have worn mine.” She looked down at her Columbia sweatshirt. She had gotten one for Rachel as well. 

“You wouldn’t have been able to find it, because I kind of stole it.” Rachel nodded to her bed. “It’s there for you, if you want to put it on.”

“When did you steal it?” Quinn furrowed her brows and walked to the familiar bed, having taken her current sweatshirt off to put the ugly sweater on, instead. 

“A couple of weeks ago. When we decided to spend Xmas Eve here.” Rachel put the tray in the oven and dumped the bowl into the sink, as a reminder to clean everything later. “You’re mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” Quinn met her halfway and just pulled her in her arms, locking her hands under the hem of her sweater. “You’re a sneaky little thing, aren’t you?” 

“No height jokes, Miss Fabray.” She pinned her with a hard glare. 

“Fine, Miss Berry.” She dropped her voice to a lower tone to say those last two words. She knew the effect she had on Rachel, because her eyes had turned darker at the mention of that familiar nickname. 

“Quinn…” Rachel’s hands gripped the front of her sweater as her voice trembled. She felt herself throb in her lower regions. 

“Rachel…” Quinn smirked and leaned down to drop a gentle kiss against her parted lips. She smiled when her fingers slipped through her shorter hair, tugging her by it to keep their mouths pressed together. 

“Don’t distract me with your sexiness or I’ll end up burning the cookies.” The brunette licked her bottom lip slowly. 

“We can keep it in our pants until they are cooked, don’t you think?” She stole a quick glance to the oven display. 30 minutes left. 

“I am not wearing pants.” She pecked her lips when her hands dropped to the back of her bare thighs, lifting her off the ground in a familiar way. It seemed Quinn just loved carrying her around. 

“So I can see.” Quinn sat her on the edge of the kitchen counter and stood in front of her, keeping her palms behind her knees. She looked down between their bodies and then back up into Rachel’s eyes, who were just fixed on her almost in contemplation. “What’s on your mind?” 

“Do you feel any different with me, now?” Her fingers played with the baby hair at the base of her neck, absentmindedly stroking it as she looked down at the blonde lover. 

“Different how?” She wrapped Rachel’s legs around her waist and just rested her hands on the counter, each side of her. 

“We don’t have to hide anymore. There are no hotel rooms or excuses to see each other.” Her hands slid along her shoulders. “We’re no longer trying to hide we have feelings for each other or pretending it was just sex between us.” 

“It never was just sex.” Quinn’s forehead rested against Rachel’s. “Maybe the first night, but it turned into something deeper when we kept going back for more, even if we were not supposed to.”

“If you could go back, would you do it differently? Would you change something?” She held her face with her palms, stroking her cheeks with her fingertips. 

“Nothing. I would make the same choices all over again.” She tilted her head to brush her lips over Rachel’s. “I would let myself fall for you in the same spectacular way.” 

“Spectacular, huh?” Rachel chuckled watery.

“I don’t think there’s a more appropriate way to describe the way I feel for you.” Quinn nodded and nuzzled her nose gently, having heard her sniffle. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Quinn. I just love you so much.” Rachel leaned in to kiss her softly, pulling her impossibly closer. Like she needed to hold onto her to feel real. Like she needed to hold onto her to be able to feel alive. 

_ You showed me colors you know  _

_ I can't see with anyone else _

_ You taught me a secret language  _

_ I can't speak with anyone else _

_ And you know damn well _

_ For you I would ruin myself _

_ A million little times _

  
  


THE END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for TS' song "Illicit Affairs" that inspired me to write this fic! The whole album was just amazing! I recommend listening to the song (and the album)!

**Author's Note:**

> So I am back with a 5 parter fic, let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Each review is always appreciated.
> 
> Thanks


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